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“You sound so sure of yourself. Is your investigator going to beat the truth out of me?”
“He won’t have to.”
“Going to ply me with drugs? Please say yes.”
“You’re floating already.”
“No more drugs?”
“No.”
“Pity. But then how do you intend to get me to talk?”
“I’m going to wait,” I said. “You want to tell me. You’re so proud of yourself you can’t help but tell me.”
He laughed. Then he snubbed dead his butt, opened the drawer of his bed table, pulled out a full joint, licked it, lighted it. He sat on that bed, leaned forward to prod his bad foot with a finger, leaned back, stared at me while he sucked in and held the smoke.
I watched him in silence.
It had been an astonishing performance, Terrence Tipton’s little show, with its burning poems and slurred voice and incessant quotations from a long-dead libertine, but that’s all it was, a show. It hadn’t taken me more than a moment to realize he was a dramatic little snit, still on the stage all these years after his vomitous failure as Romeo, still playing the melancholy young man brooding on some mysterious, unforgivable event in his past, still waiting for the spotlight to come his way and give him another chance.
And now here I was, at last, his opportunity.
So I wasn’t worried that he was apparently turning me down. I stayed quiet, and I waited. He wasn’t made for Beckett and his cold silences, no. He was made for Shakespeare and all that ripe verbal excess, for Byron’s fatal romanticism. He would soon take his place behind the footlights and begin his grand soliloquy. He couldn’t help himself.
I waited, and I waited some more. But I didn’t have to wait too long.
36
I had plenty of time to think it through later that same night while I sat in the dark in my apartment.
I sat in a chair in a corner of my living room and stewed in a simmering pot of bitterness. She had betrayed me, not just once with the police at Clarence Swift’s urging but repeatedly, overtly, time and again. Terrence Tipton hadn’t let me take him out of that house to treat the disease that was ravaging his body, but he had told me a story, and its clearest message was that at every turn in my tortured relationship with sweet Julia she had betrayed me.
To hear Terry tell it, Julia broke off our engagement because she feared I couldn’t support both her and his drug habit in the ma
I suppose I could have taken this with a certain grain of equanimity in and of itself. Duplicity might simply have been an integral component of Julia’s character, and not the least alluring component at that. Who is ever sexier than a woman on the cusp of a betrayal? But she had betrayed me for a drug-addicted piece of putrefying flesh lost in a haze of posh, romantic, adolescent angst. She had betrayed me for the likes of Terrence Tipton, and that was almost more than I could handle.
Still, amidst all this, I wondered if we had a future. Now who was the sap?
But there was a foundation to my madness. Suddenly it was as if I could peer through Julia’s shields and glimpse her i
“Did you get it?” I said to Derek as soon as we left Terry Tipton’s room.
“Sure thing, bo.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out the miniature tape recorder, clicked it off. “I learned my lesson from last time. This time I pressed the damn buttons before we started.”
“Let me have it,” I said.
“You sure?”
“Sure I’m sure,” I said.
“You really sure? I mean, how you think she’ll feel about you if you turn that freak in?”
“She’ll never forgive me,” I said.
“So is this tape going to end up in the grip of the police,” he said as he tossed the recorder to me, “or is it going to disappear to keep that girl happy?”
“Don’t know yet,” I said.
And I didn’t, but I intended to find out. So I sat in a dark corner of my living room, staring at the miniature tape recorder glowing dully on the coffee table. I sat there stewing and waiting. Waiting for the knock at the door. Waiting for the ring of truth.
That day I had run from Philly to Washington to Ashland, Virginia, and then back again. I had run around like a fool looking for answers. But I wasn’t ru
And then it came.
Knock, knock.
“Come on in,” I called out cheerfully. “The door’s open.”
37
“Victor?” said Julia, peering into the glum darkness. “Is that you?”
“It’s me, all right,” I said.
“I’m so relieved,” she said, stepping into the apartment. “Where have you been all day? I was so worried. I wanted to explain.”
“I bet you did.”
“Victor?”
“I’ve been waiting,” I said. “Waiting for your explanation.”
She must have caught something in my voice because she hesitated at that instant, turned her head to see if someone else was hiding in the apartment, which told me all I needed to know about whose room she had come from.
“I didn’t mean to get you into trouble,” she said. “I just told the truth to the police, that’s all. About us. Just like you did the night of the murder.”
“That’s not what I wanted explained,” I said. “I want to know the truth about why you left me. The truth of why you married Wren. The truth, for once, about us.”
“I told you that already. You were pulling away, Wren stepped in, I was feeling vulnerable.”
“But you left out one last player.”
She stepped forward and tried to stare into my eyes through the darkness. Discouraged, she dropped onto the couch, one leg crossed beneath her.
“I knew you’d find him eventually,” she said, her voice carefully calm. “He said he told you a story to get you to leave him alone, a story full of lies.”
“He told me a story, all right, but it wasn’t full of lies. And there it is, right on the coffee table. His story.”
“You taped him?”
“You bet I did.”
She leaned forward, picked up the recorder, pressed play. For an instant, Terry Tipton’s slurry voice filled the room. “ – had been sending me money since before their wedding. That was his agreement with Julia, the way he got her-” She clicked him quiet.