The Covenant Of The Flame

'It can't be that bad. Last night, I got the impression you enjoyed your work.'

'Documenting the decay of the planet? That's hardly enjoyable. Still, I do get satisfaction from trying to accomplish some good.' Joseph left the elevator and turned to her, his face glowing. 'God bless.'

As the doors slid shut and Joseph disappeared, Tess's stomach sank, but not from the upward motion of the elevator.

THREE

The next day, Friday, Tess became so absorbed in her article that she worked through her lunch hour. At quarter after two, the rumbles in her stomach made her finally decide that her concentration would suffer if she didn't get something to eat.

When she entered the elevator, she thought of Joseph. Descending, it stopped at the floor below hers. Again, she tingled. No, she thought. This is just a coincidence.

But her knees went weak when the doors slid open and Joseph entered.

He gri

Standing close to him, feeling his arm against hers, Tess tried to control her breathing. 'Penance?' Abruptly she remembered that he'd used that expression yesterday. 'Oh, you mean my work. I'm doing an article on acid rain. It's going well.'

'Can't ask for better than well.'

'I…'

'Yes?'

'Don't you think it's odd, to say the least, that you and I decided to take the elevator at…"

'The same moment? Joseph shrugged. 'The world's an odd place. Long ago, I decided to accept fate instead of question it. Some things are meant to happen.'

'Like kismet or karma?'

' Providence.' Joseph's gray eyes glinted. 'Late lunch?'

Tess smelled his aftershave lotion and couldn't keep her voice from quavering. 'I lost track of time.'

'Me, too. Clock time anyhow. There's a deli across the street. Care to join me?'

Gooseflesh prickled Tess's arms. 'Only if it's Dutch treat.'

Joseph spread his hands. 'Whatever you like. But for me, it'll still be a treat.'

Outside, on the noisy sidewalk, they waited for a break in traffic and darted across toward the deli. The afternoon was humid, the struggling sunlight dull with exhaust haze. As Tess reached the opposite sidewalk, she glanced toward Joseph and couldn't help noticing that, just as the first time she'd met him, he peered around as if searching for someone in the crowd. Why? She repressed a frown, wondering – influenced by her father's habits – did Joseph think that he was being watched? Come on, she told herself. This isn't a secret meeting. Get real.

The brightly lit deli, after the noon-hour rush, was only a quarter full.

'Our pastrami's very good today,' the waiter said.

'Thanks. No meat, though,' Joseph said. 'I'd like your tomato, sprouts, and cucumber sandwich.'

'Cole slaw? How about a dill pickle?'

'Might as well. And a bottle of mineral water.'

'Sounds good,' Tess said. The same for me.' When the waiter left, she studied Joseph. 'No meat? You're a vegetarian?'

'It's not a big deal. Meat just doesn't agree with me. Besides, this is Friday.'

Tess – a Roman Catholic – thought she understood the reference. Years ago, Catholics had not been allowed to eat meat on Friday. But only elderly, extremely conservative Catholics still obeyed that outmoded rule, and Joseph, like her, was young enough that he couldn't have been conditioned to abstain from meat on Friday for fear of committing a sin.

The reason I asked' – Tess subdued her puzzlement – 'is that I'm mostly a vegetarian, too.'

'Well, that's something else we share in common.'

'Like being Roman Catholic?'

Joseph frowned. 'What makes you think I'm a Catholic?'

'No meat on Friday.'

'Ah,' Joseph said. 'I see. No, I don't belong to that religion.'

'Sorry. I apologize. I guess I'm asking too many questions.'

'Don't worry about it. I'm not offended.'

Then as long as I'm… If you don't mind, let me ask you something else,' Tess said.

'I'm waiting.'

'Why did you look so nervous when you crossed the street?'

Joseph laughed. 'In New York? With all the junkies and crazy drivers? Who doesn't look nervous?'

'One more question.'

'Sure.'

'… Would you like to see me tomorrow?' Tess's boldness surprised her. Her heart skipped.

'Would…?' Joseph concentrated, peered down at the table, toyed with his knife and fork, then focused his intense gray eyes upon her. 'Of course. I'd enjoy your company very much.'

Tess exhaled.

'But I have to be honest.'

Damn, Tess thought. Here it comes. This is what I was afraid of. A man this gorgeous, he's probably going to tell me he's involved with someone.

'By all means.' She straightened and pressed her hands on the table, preparing herself. 'I appreciate honesty.'

'We can only be friends.'

I'm not sure what…'

'What I mean is, we can never be lovers.'

His frankness startled her. 'Hey,' Tess said, 'I wasn't making a proposition. It's not like I asked you to go to bed.'

'I know that. Really, your behavior's impeccable.' Joseph reached across the table and tenderly touched her hand. She noticed he had a jagged scar on the back of his wrist. 'I didn't mean to offend or embarrass you. It's just that… there are certain things about me you wouldn't understand.'

'I think I do understand.'

'Oh?'

'You're gay? Is that it?'

Joseph laughed. 'Not at all.'

'I mean, it wouldn't bother me or anything if you are gay. I'd just like to know. I don't want to make a bigger fool of myself than I already have.'

'Believe me, Tess, I'm not gay, and you haven't made a fool of yourself.'

Then maybe you've had some kind of accident, and…'

'You mean, have I been emasculated? Hardly. The truth is, I'm extremely flattered that you want to spend time with me. But I have certain… well, let's call them obligations. I can't explain what they are or why I have to abide by them. You just have to trust and believe and accept. The point is, I welcome your friendship.'

'Friendship?' Tess squirmed. 'I once got rid of a persistent boy in high school by telling him that I only wanted him as a friend.'

'But this isn't high school,' Joseph said. 'If you want my companionship… and I'd enjoy yours… I hate to sound formal, but those are my terms.'

'Listen.' Tess bit her lip. 'Maybe we ought to forget it.'

'Why? Because you can't imagine a male and female relationship that doesn't result in sex?' Joseph asked.

'God, I feel like such an idiot.'

'Don't,' Joseph said. 'You're a healthy, intelligent, attractive woman with normal desires. But I'm'-Joseph's gaze intensified -'totally different.'

'You'll get no argument. And maybe that's why…'She couldn't believe she was saying this. 'I want to be with you.'

'Platonically,' Joseph said.

'All right. Sure. For now. But who knows…?'

'No, Tess. Not just for now, but always. Trust me, that way is better.'

'Why?'

'Because it's eternal.'

'You're the strangest man I ever met,' Tess said.

'I'll accept that as a compliment.'

'Okay.' Tess increased her resolve. 'What time tomorrow?'

'Ten a.m.?' Joseph suggested. The upper East Side. Carl Schurz Park. Off Eighty-Eighth Street. Next to the mayor's house.'

'I know it.'

There's a jogging track beside the river. Since we exercise every day, we might as well do it together.'

'Swell,' Tess said. 'So we jog, and I work off my attraction to you?'

'Exercise works wonders, my platonic friend.'

'Maybe for you.'

Joseph gri

'I have to warn you,' Tess said. 'I'll do my best to tempt you.'