Street Dreams

“Perfect,” Decker said. “Go for it.”

I exhaled. “I’m still inexperienced in these kinds of things. I’d like a little help.”

“No problem, pumpkin. I have time. Let’s go check it out.”

“I know I’m bordering on fiction here. Still, aren’t you the one who always said trust your gut?”

“Especially in this crazy world. Let me change and I’ll leave a note for Rina. Then we’ll be off.”

“Great.” I smiled. “Thanks so much.”

“For what?”

“For coming with me. But mostly for listening to me.”

“Are you kidding?” He tousled my hair. “Give me a minute.”

“Take your time.” I smiled and really meant it, because Dad had this expression, this absolutelygloriousexpression, of respect in his eyes-a look that said more than a million words.

?

I got a hug from Louise. “Come in, come in. It’s always nice when you drop by.”

“You remember my father, don’t you, Louise?”

“Yes, of course. Please come in… Is it Sergeant Decker?”

“Lieutenant,” I corrected. We walked inside.

Over the past months, Louise Sanders’s living room had been taken over by baby paraphernalia. Plush toys had replaced the throw pillows on the brown leather couch. The coffee table was crowded with plastic squeaky animals and baby books. A mesh playpen stood next to the piano, milk bottles all over the place. Still, the space was pleasant, brimming over with light and midmorning summer heat. The windows were open, but there was no discernible breeze.

Louise had highlighted her gray hair with some blond streaks. She’d also dropped a couple of pounds. She was taking care of herself and that was good. Maybe I was flattering myself, but I liked to think that I played a small part in that piece of theater. Today, Louise wore denim shorts and a boat-neck white shirt, sandals on her feet.

“Can I get either of you anything to drink?”

Before I could answer, Sarah walked in. Her blond hair had been cut short for the summer, so now she was all cheeks and face, all round and pink. She wore a loose blue cotton dress; her fingernails and toenails were painted silver. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me, then around the room. “Where’s”-she struggled to get the words out-“Where’s… Ko-by?”

“Sarah, say hello first,” Louise told her.

“Hello.”

“Hello, Sarah,” I answered. “Koby is out ru

“Where’s he ru

I smiled. “He’s ru

“Did he win?”

“It’s not that kind of race. You run it to see how fast you can run. Today, he’s ru

Her mouth opened. “That’s a lot of miles.”

“Yes, it is.”

“You didn’t go with him?” Dad asked me.

“They started at seven to beat the heat. Thanks, but I’ll pass.” To Sarah, I said, “Is Ella sleeping?”

Sarah nodded.

Louise said, “I just put her down-”

“Iput her down,” Sarah piped in.

“Right.” Louise gave a half smile. “She won’t be up for a couple of hours.”

“That’s okay, Louise. We actually wanted to talk to Sarah… if that’s all right.”

The older woman frowned. “What about?”

I glanced at my father. He had changed from a T-shirt to a polo shirt, but he still wore jeans. I thought that gave him a casual touch. He said, “Just to clear up a couple of things.”

“Maybe we should all sit down,” I said.

Louise started tossing the plush toys into the playpen to clear up room on the couch. “Have a seat.”

“You sit, too, Louise,” Decker said. “This could concern you as well.”

“What’s this all about?” Louise sat.

“I’m not sure,” I told her. “But I need you to trust me. ’Cause this was all my idea.”

“What is going on?” She put her hand to her heart. “Somethingelse?”

My father shrugged. I said, “It may take a little time, so please be patient. Because I want to do this right.”

Louise looked at me, unhappy, but then she ultimately nodded for me to go ahead.

My father smiled at Sarah. “So you like Koby?”

Sarah nodded.

“I like him, too.”

Sarah nodded.

“Why do you like him?”

Sarah giggled. “ ’Cause he’s… cute.”

Decker smiled. “I’ll tell you why I like him. I like him because he’s nice.”

Sarah nodded.

“Do you ever play games with him?”

Sarah thought a moment. “Sometimes.”

“What kind of games?”

“Ball.”

“What kind of ball?”

“Handball.”

“On the garage door?”

She hugged herself and smiled. “I always win.”

“So you must be really good at handball.”

Sarah giggled.

“What other games do you do with Koby?”

She thought a long time. “Once, he took me to the high school to play basketball. We brang my handball. I made one basket. He had to pick me up. I was too short.”

Decker nodded. “How’d you get to the high school?”

Sarah seemed confused.

“Did you drive in a car or walk or take a bus?”

“We walked.”

“You walked.”

“Yes.”

“Did you have to cross streets to get there?”

“Yes.”

“Did Koby hold your hand when you crossed the street?”

Sarah thought a moment, then nodded.

“That’s good. What other games did Koby play with you?”

Sarah thought about the question. “Sometimes we drew squiggles.”

“Squiggles are fun. Do you like to draw?”

“Sometimes.”

“Me too. What else did you do with Koby?”

Sarah shrugged. “I don’t know… just stuff.”

“Did he ever play… like tag with you? Or maybe a tickling game?”

I shot a glance at my father. He ignored me.

Abruptly, the girl grew melancholy, very silent. Louise and I exchanged glances. I shrugged. An unexpected sweat came over my body.

Dad said, “You know, tickle your ribs or something like that?”

Sarah waited for what seemed like an eternity, then shook her head. “I…” She fell silent.

“What, Sarah?” Dad asked.

“He sometimes tickled Ella’s foot. I wanted him to tickleme.So I asked him to stop tickling Ella and tickleme.”

“And what did Koby say when you asked him to tickle you?”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “He said that big boys don’t tickle big girls unless they’re boyfriend and girlfriend.” Sarah opened her eyes and glanced at me. Then she rubbed her arms. “I asked him to bemy boyfriend,but he said he was alreadyCindy’s boyfriend.” Her eyes watered. “So he didn’t tickle me.”

Decker nodded. “That makes sense.”

She turned her head away. Obviously, it didn’t make sense to her.

Decker said, “What about David? Did he ever tickle you?”

Her voice grew quiet. “Sometimes.”

“But David was your boyfriend, right?”

She nodded.

“Did you like it when he tickled you?”

Again she nodded.

“So it was okay with you that David tickled you.”

“Yes.”

“Did any other big boy ever tickle you?”

She eyed Decker with suspicion and didn’t answer.

“You know…” Dad smiled. “Tickle you to make you laugh?”

She maintained silence. She wasn’t as slow as her tested intelligence indicated.

Dad said, “Let’s talk about David some more. David used to tickle you, right?”

She nodded.

“And that was okay… when David touched you.”

“Sometimes I liked it. Sometimes I didn’t.”

“When didn’t you like it?”

“You know”-her face got very red-“when he did sex.”

Louise was about to talk, but she managed to control herself. I put my hand on her knee and patted it. She eyed me for a moment; then she tried a stiff smile that died.

Decker said, “That’s right, Sarah. You told me that you didn’t like the sex at all.”

She nodded.

“I want you to think very hard, Sarah. Can you do that for me?”

She didn’t answer.

“I want you to think about the times you had sex with David. Did you ever tell him not to have the sex with you?”

Her eyes were downcast. “No.”

“That’s okay, that you didn’t tell him no. But I am curious. If you didn’t like it, why did you do it… the sex?”