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“Who is it?” he heard her say.

“It’s Peter, Rina.”

She unhooked the chain and opened the door.

“Hello there,” she said, letting him in. “You’re just the person I wanted to see.”

“Why’s that?”

“Someone has been having nightmares.”

Decker’s eyes fixed on Jacob in his Spiderman pajamas. It always amazed him how much more vulnerable kids looked in their sleepwear.

“Hey, Jakey,” he said, sitting next to him. The boy’s blue eyes were open and alert. “What’s on your mind, big fellah?”

Jacob shrugged.

“He wanted to know whether you’ve captured the bad man who dumped the bones in the woods,” Rina said.

Shit, Decker thought. To love a kid is to live with guilt.

“No, not yet,” he said. “Jacob, that man isn’t going to hurt you. He lives far, far away and isn’t going to come here.”

“How do you know?” the child asked.

“Because I know. He’s not interested in hurting you or your eema or anybody here at the yeshiva. Jakey, you’re safe.”

The kid looked skeptical.

“No one is going to come in here,” Decker tried again. “The windows and doors are all locked. They can’t come in here.”

“Suppose a burglar breaks a window?”

“What did I tell you I’d do?” Rina said.

The boy gave a hint of a smile.

“You’d spray his eyes with poison,” he answered.

“And then what?”

“While he was rubbing his eyes and going YOW, you’d hit him over the head with a frying pan.”

“And then what?” Rina prompted.

“You’d break a lamp over his head,” he giggled.

“And?”

“After he was all knocked out, you’d tie him up with your leather belts and call the police.”

“And who always makes sure you’re safe?”

“Hashem!”

“And who always looks after you wherever you are?”

“Hashem!”

“And who takes care of you twenty-four hours a day, every single day of the year?”

“HASHEM!” Jacob shouted.

“It sounds like you’re in good hands, Jake,” said Decker.

The little boy turned to him.

“Are you go

“Of course, Jake.”

“C’mon, sweetie,” Rina said. “Try and get some sleep.”

“Can you walk me to my room, Peter?”

“Sure.”

Jacob kissed his mother good night and led Decker into the bedroom.

“All’s well,” Decker said, reentering a moment later. “Have you had any problems with Sammy?”

“Fine. Sleeps like a log, eats great, plays and studies.”

“And I thought it was the little one who didn’t take things to heart.”

“Go figure.” She looked up at him. “Do you want something to eat, Peter?”

“A cup of coffee.”

“At this time of night?”

“I’m restless. I’m not pla

“Oh?”

“I think I’ll take advantage of my wide-awake mood and do some-research.”

“I’m not going to ask.”

“Good idea.”

He sat down at the kitchen table and watched her put the tea-kettle on the burner. She wore no makeup, her hair was braided back, and she was barefoot. She could pass for seventeen.

“How’d the lesson with Rav Schulman go?”

“Fine,” he said. “How long has Jake been having nightmares?”

“This is the first time.” She took his hand. “Don’t worry about it, Peter. It wasn’t your fault. Okay?”



“Sure.”

She cupped his chin in her hands and looked into his eyes.

“Okay?”

“Yes, okay, whatever you say.” He smiled. “You’re a potentially violent woman, Rina Lazarus. I’m not messing with you.”

“Just don’t break into my house.” She smiled, then turned serious. “I just wanted him to know that I could take care of him. And I can. I want to show you something.”

She left the room, and when she came back, she was carrying a box.

“Take a look inside.”

The shape. The weight. He knew what it was without even opening it. Damn, he thought. She really did it. He pulled out the gun, hefted it, then flipped open the barrel.

“Where are the bullets?”

She reached inside her skirt pocket and handed him a smaller box.

“The guy who sold it to me said to keep the gun and bullets separate since I have small kids in the house.”

“He’s right.”

“But that doesn’t really make any sense. If someone breaks into your house, do you want to have to think about where the bullets are and how to load them?”

“It’s the lesser of two evils. Better than Jakey thinking it’s a toy and shooting off his brother’s head.”

“Peter, please!”

“I just want you to know what you’ve purchased.”

“Well, you keep your gun loaded, don’t you?”

“Rina, I’m a police officer.”

“What did you do when Cindy was growing up?”

“When I wasn’t wearing my gun, I kept it locked up. I never, never left a loaded gun lying in an unlocked drawer or on my nightstand. I have a great deal of respect for what it can do.”

“Do you lock your gun up now?” she asked.

“No, because I live alone,” he said. “But when Cindy visits me for the weekend, it’s locked. When you and the kids come visit, it’s locked.”

She handed him his coffee and noticed the slight bulge under his jacket. He’d worn his gun while he learned Torah. For some reason, that disturbed her, but she didn’t say anything. It would have seemed ludicrous to mention it in view of her recent purchase. She sat down beside him, held her gun in her hand, stared at it, then put it down.

“If you’ve got ambivalence about it,” Decker said softly, “don’t even start. There’s nothing wrong with chucking the whole idea, Rina.”

“No,” she insisted. “I want to know how to use it. Hopefully, I’ll never have to.”

He picked up the Colt and sighted down the barrel.

“Let me take this home,” he said. “I’ll clean it and oil it. Maybe even break it in for you.”

“I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you show me how to clean, oil, and break in the gun?”

He frowned.

“We do such romantic things together, Rina. We talk religious philosophy and clean guns. What ever happened to midnight walks on the beach while gazing at the moonlight?”

“The beach isn’t safe at night and the water is polluted.”

“You’re incurably sentimental.”

Her lips turned upward and broke into a mysterious smile.

“You’re going to be sorry for that sarcastic tone of voice.” She opened a drawer and brought out a flat, rectangular package. “Something to wear for Shabbos tomorrow.”

She’d bought him a tie, he thought.

“I take it all back,” he said.

She stood over him as he opened the box. Inside was a flatter, black satin box. He looked at her, puzzled. “What did you do?”

“Open it,” she instructed.

He lifted the lid and took out the contents.

“A watch?”

“Do you like it?”

“Rina-this is solid gold.”

“Do you like it?”

He stood up and hugged her.

“Honey, it’s gorgeous. But I can’t accept-”

“Sure you can. You’d better. It’s engraved on the back, and that makes it nonreturnable.”

He flipped it over and smiled at the inscription.

“It’s because I love you, Peter,” she said softly. “I can’t show it physically, but the feeling is still there.”

“I love you, too, Rina.” He gave her a suitably chaste kiss on the lips. Now he knew he’d never get to sleep tonight. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I see you learning in the beis hamidresh, Peter. You don’t even know I’m there, but I see you, poring over the alef beis, reading, studying. You say it all that way…I knew this boy, once. He was a ba’al t’shuvah-a nonreligious Jew who decided to live the Torah life. It lasted maybe six months. He said it was too emasculating for him. He knew too little and couldn’t stand it. It takes an extremely big person to do what you’re doing-learning as you do from scratch. I don’t think I could. I envy your strength of character.”

She gave him a bear hug.

“I’m a little choked up,” Decker said.

“You’re entitled.”