The Jester

Chapter 113

BETTE, THE DUKE’S COOK, had risen early that morning. She had hurried down to the kitchen and by dawn busied herself with her usual task of preparing the morning meal.

She stirred the porridge until it was the perfect consistency. She took down a jar of ci

The two guards who stood watch outside the pantry, she knew, were about to end their overnight shift. Pierre and Imo, lazy slobs. This wasn’t exactly crack duty, guarding the royal kitchen when an army threatened at the gates.

Bette knew they would be dead tired, ready for a snooze, and that their bellies would be aching for something to eat. The early-morning cooking smells would lure them like a whore’s scent.

As the sun broke through the early mist, Bette tied up two burlap sacks filled with last night’s mess. Then she poked her head out of the kitchen.

“What are you making? Smells like Heaven,” Pierre, the plumper of the guards, said.

“Whatever it is, the duke seems to prize it.” Bette winked. “And there’s some extra this morning, if I can get a chore done for me.”

[332] “Show us, cooky,” Pierre said.

Bette gri

“Empty them in the back,” Bette instructed. “Just make sure you captains of war don’t spill them.”

“Pile on those currants.” Imo gri

“Of course.” Bette nodded.

She looked out the window. An anxious tremor fluttered in her heart. This was a dangerous line she had crossed, but she had crossed it in her mind long ago. When the duke unceremoniously hanged her friend Natalie as a thief for taking a bit of salve from the physician’s chambers; and when her second cousin Teddy had his flock confiscated and was forced to tend them in the duke’s own pen. She would have gladly poisoned the prick herself, if Hugh had asked.

The two soldiers went in back and emptied the pails carelessly onto the garbage pile, drooling with anticipation of their forthcoming meal.

Behind them, two other soldiers dressed in purple and white stood up and grabbed them by the neck. Pierre’s and Imo’s eyes bulged as they were dragged to the ground.

Bette wiped her hands on a rag. Yes, it was a dangerous line she had crossed… but what choice was there?

She sighed. It was a crazy time when you had to choose between a madman and a fool.

Chapter 114

IN AN HOUR’S TIME, fourteen of our men stood about the courtyard, dressed as Baldwin’s own brigade.

The rest kept from sight, concealed behind the dungeon door. Like Bette, three of Geoffrey’s friends had helped lure soldiers into our trap.

Odo and I stood guard at the dungeon door, looking for a sign that the duke was conducting business. Across the courtyard, two guards stood with halberds on either side of the castle entrance. Others crossed back and forth at a crisp pace, wheeling weapons and armaments down to the ramparts.

From down the road, we could hear our own men massing at the city walls-shouting and taunting, just as I had ordered them.

Finally I spotted Geoffrey entering the courtyard. He scratched his head, then flashed me a purposeful nod.

“It’s time,” I said, rapping at the dungeon door.

Odo slid it open. The balance of our party, some still in their own clothes, headed out. In the hubbub of people moving about, no one noticed. We made our way across the courtyard. We were joined by the rest of our ranks in Baldwin’s uniforms, loitering about.

As we approached the castle guards, one of them lowered his halberd in our path. “Only military perso

[334] “These men have business before the duke,” I said, indicating those not wearing guards’ uniforms. “They have come from the woods and know of the jester.”

The guards hesitated. They eyed us up and down. My heart beat wildly. “We’ve come from the wall,” I said in a firmer voice. “Do you have the time to conduct an investigation when there’s important news to deliver to the duke?” Finally, eyeing our uniforms, the guard retracted the halberd and let us by.

We were inside the castle. I boldly led the group through the main vestibule toward the great hall.

To my surprise, the halls were not as busy as I expected. Most of the duke’s manpower was defending the walls. The times I had been here before, these same halls were crowded with petitioners and favor-seekers.

I led the way to the great hall. Two more guards stood at attention before the large doorway. The duke’s voice bellowed inside. My stomach churned.

“We are wanted within.” I snapped a nod to the guards. I wore the purple and white. We’d made it this far. No one made a move to block us.

Our ranks sifted into the duke’s large meeting room. It was just as I remembered when I had been a jester here, except that then, it had been packed with people conducting business; today, I saw mostly Baldwin’s retinue and knights.

Baldwin was slouched in his chair. He wore a military tunic with his crest and high leather boots. His sword was sheathed in an ornate scabbard.

The pig!

A high-ranking officer was concluding a report on the scene outside the walls. Two of my men remained behind, near the guards at the doorway.

“My lord,” the chamberlain said, “the rabble has made a petition for you to consider.”

“A petition?” Baldwin shrugged.

[335] “A list of demands,” the new chatelain, who had presumably taken over for Norcross, explained.

My men circulated around the room. Odo and Alphonse took positions behind the duke. Alois and two others from Morrisaey edged near the chamberlain and the chatelain.

“Who brings these demands?” Baldwin perked up. “Our fucking jester?”

“No, my lord,” the chamberlain replied. “Your jester is nowhere in sight. Perhaps he is afraid to get out of bed. But it is as we spoke. Let them deliver their complaints. And you give them the impression that you will seriously take them into account.”

“Into account.” Baldwin stroked his beard. He turned to the chatelain. “Chatelain, choose your lowest, most unfit soldier, prop him up on a mule, and send him out to receive these grievances. Have him convey to the filth that they have his assurance it will receive our most urgent review.”

A few of the knights snickered.

The chatelain stepped up. “I beg you, sir, not to mock these men.”

“Your protest is heard. Now, hurry off and find this latrine-cleaner. And Gui, when your man is safely back, kill a few of them. Just to assure them we are placing their petition under our most urgent review.”

“But my lord, they will be protected, under truce,” the chatelain said hesitantly.

“Are you whining again? Chamberlain, do you think you could head to the walls and carry out this decree? My military man seems to have come down with a case of cold dick.”

“I can, my lord.” The fat weasel scrambled away.

About the room, everyone stood aghast at the chatelain’s rebuke.

“Now.” Baldwin stood, staring around the room. “Is there anyone else in here who has a similar plan?”

“Yes,” I shouted from the back of the room. “I think we should attack. Attack your enemies in the west.”