Brain Damage

Sammy came on, and said, "Where are you?"

"At sea."

"As usual."

"Cute. Something came up that's bothering me."

"Is this an open line?"

"Yes, and I'll be careful. If I say Pagliacci, do you know who I mean?"

"Yes."

"It seems that Pagliacci went to college at a small school in New York called Van Buren. That bothers me. Do you think that it should?"

There was a silence, then he said, "I don't like talking about this on an open line."

"Yeah, and you're the one who won't use codes. Loosen up, who do you think is listening?"

Another pause. "Van Buren is the school that's playing Polk in basketball. Vince's assignment."

"That's what I thought. Coincidence?"

"It damn well better be, because if it isn't…"

"I know, it makes it a whole new ballgame. If these things are co

"They can't be. Ogden was out of his skull when he made those assignments."

"That's been our assumption, but what if he wasn't?"

"I don't want to think about it."

"I'm afraid that we have to. If these things are hooked up…"

"Hold it, you're jumping too fast. All you have is a coincidence so far, a tenuous co

"I don't know, but I don't like it. I just tapped Pagliacci's head and came up with some names that should be checked out. Will you do that for me?"

"Let's have them."

"Back in Van Buren, he had a couple of close friends in his senior year. One of them was a girl named June Honeywell, aka the Pom-Pom Queen. She later became Mrs. Pagliacci."

"I'll check her out. What else?"

"A guy named Hassan Rashid, his best friend. He was an exchange student from Lebanon, a jock. Do you want to know what sport?"

"No."

"Basketball."

Sammy sighed. "I'll check it. Go ahead."

"One more. There was another girl that they called the Poodle. Her name was Julia Simms."

"Shit."

"What?"

"I don't have to check that one. Julia Simms has been dead for years. She was the mother of Lila Simms, the kid that Ogden set up for the rape."

15

THE time that The Prisoner spent in the squad room each day after the exercise period was a time of reflection for him, and, being a man with a disciplined mind, he tried to limit those reflections to a single topic at a time. Sometimes he thought about the value of his work, sometimes about the nearly useless existence that he now led, sometimes about the past; and when he thought about the past he often thought of the women he had known. These were not entirely erotic reminiscences for, as he would be the first to admit, he had not led a life of sexual adventure. In truth, discounting the casual co

The first, of course, had been June, and with her there had been no coming together at all, but only the trembling of two magnetic bodies facing pole to pole, the space between them never closed. There had been kisses, yes, and touches, but nothing more than that, and it sometimes amused The Prisoner to think that this first great love of his life, the one against which the others were measured, had been so i

But if his time with June was a time to remember, his time with the Poodle was a time to forget, had he not been a man of such intellectual discipline, he would have long since forced all thoughts of her from his mind. But this was a luxury that he could not allow, for to forget about the Poodle would have been, by his standards, an act of cowardice. He had not conducted himself well with her. To use an unfashionable phrase, he had taken advantage of her love for him. He had used that love as an instrument of revenge. He had used that love as a bellows with which to reinflate his pride. In the end, he had allowed her to be crushed by her love for him, and for this he was deeply ashamed. A case could be made, he knew, for saying that in a sense he had taken her life. Exaggeration, yes, but it was a thought he had lived with for years. Over those years he had taken many lives, both by direction and by his own hand, and none had stayed with him that way. Only the Poodle, and, of course, the little girl on the plane.

Which led his thoughts to Zahra. In his dreams about that airplane operation he was never sure which of them had beaten the child when she started to scream, beaten her until her face was shattered and her eyes were sightless. In the tricks played by his memory, sometimes it was Amir who had done it, sometimes Murad, and sometimes, in a twisting of truth, himself. But it never was Zahra in those dreams, and he wondered why. Certainly not because she was a woman, for he had seen her kill savagely. Perhaps, because she was his woman? Did his co

At the time, but not now, upon reflection. Lying in the squad room on a flat pallet, stripped to his shorts and with his eyes closed, he could see the irony woven into these three loves. How ironic that there had never been a consummation to the first, great love of his life. How ironic that the finest of them all should wind up being crushed by the weight of her love for him. How ironic that the one whose intellect he had admired most, had failed to ignite any fire for him. How ironic that only with the fourth of these women, the one who should have meant the least to him, was he able to enjoy a time of rich sensuality.

It was a most improbable love affair. He was twenty-four when he met Maria-Teresa Bonfiglia, and she was thirty-five. He was Muslim and she was Roman Catholic. He was virtually pe

It lasted for almost a year, and the time went by so quickly that when it was over it seemed to The Prisoner that they had been together for only a matter of weeks. But it lasted from September to June, and it was a time of high excitement. That was the season that Maria-Teresa sang twenty-four Butterflys, twenty-two Toscas, eighteen Neddas yoked to eighteen Santuzzas, twelve of the Puccini Manon and eight of the Massenet, a record thirty-nine Susa