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(Light.)
Do you remember the four hundred stone Buddhas of Borobodur, the seventy-two Buddhas that were calm within their bells, their cages? (Yes.) Be calm, Je
(Darkness.)
Do you remember the guard that gave you bubur ayam? (Yes.) Do you remember Nyoman? (Yes.) Do you remember us, Je
(Light.)
"What are you doing?" James says, coming upon Hildy in the gazebo.
She puts down the binoculars, and shrugs elaborately. "Just looking at things."
James's eyes narrow. "You better not be spying on me, you little brat." He twists the flesh of her arm above the elbow, hard enough to leave a bruise.
"Why would I want to watch you?" Hildy yells at him. "You're the most boring person I know! You're more boring than she is."
She means Je
"What?" Hildy says, stu
The lights in her bedroom flick on and off, on and off.
Light, darkness, light.
Myron and Hildy are in the basement. In between studying for biology, and cutting out articles for current events, they play desultory Ping-Pong. "Is your cousin a mutant?" Myron says. "Or is she just a mute ant?"
Hildy serves. "She can talk fine, she just doesn't want to."
"Huh. Just like she doesn't bother to turn the lights on and off the way normal people do." He misses again.
"She's not that bad," Hildy says.
"Yeah, sure. That's why we spy on her all the time. I bet she's really a communist spy and that's why you have to keep an eye on her, spying on a spy. I bet her parents are spies, too."
"She's not a spy!" Hildy yells, and hits the ball so hard that it bounces off the wall. It's moving much faster than it should. It whizzes straight for the back of Myron's head, veering off at the last minute to smash into one of the spider plants.
The macrame plant holder swings faster and faster, loops up and drops like a bomb on the carpet. Untouched, the other macramЋ plant holders explode like tiny bombs, spilling dirt, spider plants, old Ping-Pong balls all over the basement floor.
Hildy looks over and sees Je
Je
Hildy collects lipsticks. She has two that her mother gave her, and a third that she found under the seat of her father's car. One is a waxy red, so red that Hildy thinks it might taste like a candy apple. One is pink, and the one that she found in the car is so dark that when she puts it on, her mouth looks like a small fat plum. She practices saying sexy words, studying her reflection in the bathroom mirror, her mouth a glossy, bright O. Oh darling, she says. You're the handsomest, you're the fu
She wants to tell Je
In the mirror, she looks like Je
Myron won't come over to the Harmons' house anymore. He goes to the Y instead, plays basketball, until his mother comes to pick him up. He avoids Hildy at school, and finally Hildy calls and explains that she needs him, that it's an emergency.
They meet in the gazebo, of course. Myron won't go inside the house, he says, even to pee.
"How are things?" Myron says.
"Fine," Hildy says. They are formal as two ambassadors.
"I'm sorry I called your cousin a communist."
"That's okay. Look," Hildy says. She presses the heel of her Ked against a loose board until the other end pops up. In the hollow there is a stack of white envelopes with square holes where the stamps have been cut out. She picks up the top one, dated July 19, 1970. "It's her secret place. These are her letters."
"I hope you didn't read them," Myron says. He sounds prim, as if he thinks they shouldn't read other people's letters, not even letters from spies.
"Of course I did," she tells him. "And she's not a spy. She just misses her parents."
"Oh. Is that all?" he asks sarcastically.
Hildy remembers the cool surface of the mirror, the way it almost gave way against her forehead, like water. "She wants to go home. She's going to disappear herself. She's been practicing with the light switch, moving it up and down. She's going to disappear herself back to Indonesia and her parents."
"You're kidding," he says, but Hildy is sure. She knows this as plainly as if Je
"Her parents always tell her how much they love her, they tell her the things that they've seen and done, and they ask her to be happy. But they never tell her they miss her, that they wish she was with them."
"I wouldn't miss her," Myron says, interrupting. Hildy ignores him.
"They don't tell her they miss her, because they know that she would come to them. She's the most stubborn person I know. She's still waiting for them to say it, to say she can come home."
"You're getting as weird as she is," Myron says. "Why are you telling me all this?"
Hildy doesn't say, Because you're my best friend. She says, "Because you have terrible handwriting. You write like an adult."
"So what?"
"I want you to help me steal her next letter. I want you to write like them, write that she can go home now. I can't do it. What if she recognized my handwriting?"
"You want me to get rid of her for you?" Myron says.
"I think that if she doesn't go home soon, she'll get sick. She might even die. She never eats anything anymore."
"So call the doctor." Myron says, "No way. I can't help you."
But in the end he does. It is December, and the R.M. has canceled two conferences with Je
This morning the R.M. almost walked right into Je