Twenties Girl

“Oh, that rouge won’t come off,” says Sadie airily. “It’s indelible. Lasts for days. The lipstick too.”

Indelible?

“Where did you learn to dance?” Sadie inserts herself between me and the mirror.

“I didn’t. You don’t learn to dance. You just pick it up.”

“Well, it shows. You’re terrible.”

“Well, you’re totally over the top,” I retort, stung. “You looked like you wanted to jump his bones right there!”

“‘Jump his bones.’” Sadie frowns. “What do you mean?”

“It means… You know.” I stop awkwardly. I’m not sure bone-jumping is something I want to be discussing with my great-aunt.

“What?” Sadie says impatiently. “What does it mean?”

“You do it with someone else.” I choose my words carefully. “It’s like a pajama party. Except you take off your pajamas.”

“Oh, that.” Her face clicks with recognition. “You call it ‘jumping his bones’?”

“Sometimes.” I shrug.

“What an odd phrase. We used to call it sex.”

“Oh,” I say, discomfited. “Well. We do too-”

“Or barney-mugging,” she adds.

Barney-mugging? And she has the nerve to call jump his bones an odd phrase?

“Well, whatever you call it.” I take off one of my shoes and rub my sore toes. “You looked like you wanted to do it with him right there in the bar.”

Sadie smirks and adjusts her headband, looking in the mirror. “You must admit he’s handsome.”

“On the outside, maybe,” I say grudgingly. “But he doesn’t have any personality.”

“Yes, he does!” says Sadie, looking offended.

How would she know? It was me who had to make all the bloody conversation with him!

“No, he doesn’t! He’s lived in London for months, but he hasn’t bothered to see anything!” I wince as I put my shoe back on. “What kind of narrow-minded person does that? What kind of person isn’t interested in one of the greatest cities in the world?” My voice is rising with indignation. “He doesn’t deserve to live here.”

As a Londoner, I’m taking this quite personally. I look up to see what Sadie thinks, but her eyes are closed and she’s humming. She’s not even bloody listening to me.

“Do you think he’d like me?” She opens her eyes. “If he could see me. If he could dance with me.”

Her face is so hopeful and glowing, all my outrage dies away. I’m being stupid. What does it matter what this guy is like? He’s got nothing to do with me. This is Sadie’s evening.

“Yes,” I say as convincingly as I can. “I think he’d love you.”

“I think so too.” She looks satisfied. “Your headdress is crooked, did you realize?”

I tug at it and survey my reflection grumpily.

“I look so ridiculous.”

“You look divine. You’re the prettiest girl in the place. Apart from me,” she adds airily.

“Do you know how stupid I feel?” I rub at my cheeks again. “No, of course not. All you care about is your date.”

“I’ll tell you something,” says Sadie, watching me critically in the mirror. “You’ve got a film star’s mouth. In my day, all the girls died to have a mouth like that. You could have been in the pictures.”

“Yeah, right.” I roll my eyes.

“Look at yourself, you ni

Reluctantly, I face the mirror again, trying to imagine myself in flickery black and white, tied to a railway line while a piano bashes out some menacing tune. Actually… she’s right. I do quite look the part.

“Oh, sir, please spare me!” I adopt a pose in front of the mirror, batting my eyelashes.

“Exactly! You’d have been a darling of the silver screen.” Sadie meets my eyes, and I can’t help gri

As we head back out to the bar, I see that Ed is still chatting to Genevieve. She’s leaning elegantly against a chair in a “casual” pose, which I instantly realize is designed to show off her tall, slim figure to Ed. I also instantly realize that he hasn’t even noticed, which slightly endears him to me.

Sadie’s noticed, though. She keeps crossly trying to elbow Genevieve out of the way, and yelling “Move!” in her ear-but Genevieve’s ignoring her completely. She must be made of strong stuff.

“Lara!” Genevieve greets me with a fake smile. “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to disrupt your evening á deux with Ed!”

“No worries.” I give her an equally fake smile.

“Have you known each other long?” She gestures between Ed and me with an elegant, silk-cuffed wrist.

“Not long, no.”

“So how did you two meet?”

I can’t help a surreptitious glance at Ed. He looks so uneasy at the question that I want to giggle.

“It was in the office, wasn’t it?” I say, to help him out.

“In the office. Yes.” Ed nods in relief.

“Well!” Genevieve laughs-the kind of bright, trilling laugh you give when you’re really quite a

For a split second, Ed and I meet eyes. I can see he’s about as keen on that idea as I am.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he says at once. “I mean, that’s not-”

“I’m not his girlfriend,” I chime in hastily. “We’re just… it’s kind of a one-off-”

“We’re just having a drink,” Ed supplies.

“We’ll probably never see each other again.”

“Probably not,” Ed affirms. “Definitely not.”

We’re both nodding in total agreement. In fact, I think we’ve bonded for the first time.

“I… see.” Genevieve looks totally confused.

“Let me get you another drink, Lara.” Ed gives me the warmest smile he has all evening.

“No, I’ll get them!” I beam back at him. There’s nothing like knowing you only have to spend ten more minutes with someone to make you feel suddenly generous toward them.

“What do you mean?” A voice is shrieking behind me, and as I turn I see Sadie heading toward me. Her glow has disappeared; she’s a whirl of fury. “It’s not a one-off! You made a promise!”

She’s got a nerve. How about “Thank you for dressing up and looking like a fool, Lara”?

“I kept my promise!” I hiss out of the side of my mouth as I approach the bar. “I’ve done my side of the deal.”

“No, you haven’t!” She glares at me in outrage. “You haven’t even danced properly with him! You’ve just shuffled around dismally.”

“Too bad.” I get out my phone and pretend to be speaking into that. “You said you wanted a date, I’ve given you one. The end. A glass of champagne and a G &T please,” I add to the barman, and reach into my bag for some money. Sadie’s silent, which probably means she’s gearing up for a banshee moment… But as I look up, she’s gone. I swivel around and see her back beside Ed.

She’s yelling in his ear. Oh God. What’s she doing?

I pay for the drinks as quickly as I can and hurry back across the bar. Ed is staring into the middle distance, that glazed, transfixed look on his face again. Genevieve is in the middle of an anecdote about Antigua and doesn’t even seem to have noticed Ed’s faraway expression. Or maybe she thinks he’s transfixed by admiration for her.

“And then I saw my bikini top!” She trills with laughter. “In the sea! I never lived that one down.”

“Here you are, Ed,” I say, and hand him his G &T.

“Oh. Thanks.” He seems to come to.

“Do it now!” Sadie suddenly swoops forward and shrieks in his ear. “Ask her NOW!”

Ask me? Ask me what? This had better not be about another date, because it’s not happening, no way, whatever Sadie wants-

“Lara.” Ed focuses on me with what looks like some difficulty, his forehead furrowed more deeply than ever. “Would you like to be my guest at the Business People di

I do not believe it.

In shock, I swivel my eyes up to Sadie’s-and she’s looking at me with an expression of triumph, her arms folded across her chest.

“Don’t say yes on my account,” she says carelessly. “It’s up to you. Entirely.”