Myth-Told Tales

High over the judges' heads the suavely smiling face of the Deveel host greeted them. "Good evening, ladies! You all know the remaining speeches have no impact on the outcome of the contest, so I am about to a

A thousand pairs of eyes fixed on the screen, listening raptly to the voice of the host rattling off hundreds of names I'd made up, so not one of them would lose interest in what they thought would be an early peek at the results. Far below, almost u

"Honored judges, I've thought very deeply about what I'd do with the Bub Tube if I got it, but the truth is I won't be using it myself. My uncle wants it, and he sent me here in hopes of wi

I listened, keeping one eye on the rest of the contestants. Her speech was well-reasoned, honest, and above all, uninterrupted. She spoke for fifteen minutes, then curtsied again, rolled up her scroll, and was off the stage again before anyone noticed.

As soon as she was safely beside me again, I cut off the transmission from the Bub Tube. The screen went blank. All the women around us blinked.

"Hey!" a Deveel woman said, lowering the raised handful of dripping stable muck she'd held poised to throw. "Where'd she go?"

The next speaker, a lizard woman in green, was pelted with vegetables and spells even before she reached the center of the stage. The other contestants had now missed attacking two women, and had plenty of dirty tricks left over they hadn't used yet.

I extended my elbow to Bu

"Let's." Beaming, Bu

The award ceremony was very much like the one that I'd faked for the Bub Tube. The handsome Deveel of a host stood in the middle of the stage reading from a long scroll of parchment given to him by the judges, who sat serenely in their seats on the dais. The contestants whose names had been read had all departed sobbing or shouting. The others remained in the big dressing room, clad in their finest formal gowns, hanging on every word the Deveel spoke.

"And in 887th place, right behind Shirleen, is Devraila! In 886th place—nice try, dear, better luck next year—is Elzi

A Deveel, a Klahd, and a rock-faced woman shouldered their way out of the big crowd toward the rear. I never saw them again. I believe I dozed off a few times on my feet in between batches of names. I didn't hear Bu

The mass of contestants thi

"... In 30th place, Bindina! In 29th place, Sorgkandu! ..."

Soon, only ten were left. The Deveel stopped to mop his brow and accept a glass of wine from one of the pages.

"Ladies," he said, turning to face our side of the stage, "I salute you. You've all come so far, but now this is the moment of truth! I want you all to come up on stage! Give 'em a big hand, folks!"

To deafening applause and a horn fanfare from the orchestra, the ten remaining women hurried up the stairs and were arranged in a line at the footlights by the beaming host.

"Ladies and gentlemen and whatever," he said. "Here are the final ru

"Third place, Moleynoo!" The host turned toward the Gnome woman with a silver loving-cup in hand, but she was nowhere in sight. Not a race to stick around when things hadn't gone their way, Moleynoo must have dimension-hopped as soon as she heard her name. Now there was a gap in the row of gracious losers. The host handed the third-place cup back to the page. "Oh, well, folks! Second place ... this was a hard fought battle, folks ..." Bu

If looks could kill, the Deveel would have dropped dead, burning like a bonfire. Devora accepted her second-place award and stepped back. Now there were only two contestants. Bu

"Now, before I name our first place wi

Bu

The host trailed her, talking into his padded stick. "Yes, that means the wi

Oshleen was surrounded by pages. One draped a huge blue ribbon ba

"Yes, there she is, your queen of love! Oshleen!"

The Pervect returned to the center of the stage, and the Deveel took her hand and Bu

Well, that was that.

"Now, we have a special presentation to make. You all know about our grand prize. The great and powerful Bub Tube!" He pointed to the plinth above the judges' table. "Now, there are always a few irregularities in a contest of this size. There are many rules, and many of them are broken by accident, but in other cases, they are openly defied to gain an unfair advantage. To be blunt, contestants cheat. We know that you, the audience, would feel it was wrong to give our grand prize to someone who skirted the regulations under which our contest was run. The judges have been keeping a ru

"What?" the Pervect bellowed, trying unsuccessfully to free her hand. The Deveel must have had a pure heart because his strength was as the strength of ten. She stayed where she was, as if bound there.