Myth-Told Tales

"How about this one?"

Cordu waved a dismissive hand.

"Vinegar! Get rid of it!"

"His Excellency's favorite!" the butler cried, racing to stop him. Krans lofted up out of his reach. The butler jumped for him, his belly jiggling.

"Aha!" Krans cried, drawing a ceramic jug to him with a wisp of magik. "Finiffian brandy!"

"Ill take some of that," Cordu said. Krans threw him a priceless balloon glass. Cordu caught it just before it hit the ground. The sommelier fainted dead away.

Birkley the Centaur, a good-looking male with a long blond mane and beard, galloped around the room, picking up women and heaving them onto his back.

"May I have this one, Cordu?" he asked. "Or perhaps this one?"

"Take them all!" the heir called back. The ladies screamed and beat at him, but he grabbed their wrists, laughing.

Instead of ordering them rescued, the Tue-Khan stood gawking. Chumley thought he ought to cause a little more havoc. He started toward the wall full of tapestries, roaring.

"I do not like your color scheme!" he bellowed. He yanked the colorful hangings down. They fell on his head. He tore his way out through a seam, and lurched out of them, toward a wall full of gleaming glass vases and sculptures. The Tue-Khana followed him, pleading.

"Not my gra

At the last moment, Chumley veered off, and headed toward a suit of armor on a stand. He kicked and tore at it until the pieces were scattered all over the costly rug.

"Not fit me!" he shouted. "Discriminatory against Trolls!"

"What is all this?"

Chumley tossed aside the helmet at the sound of the outraged voice. At last, Renimbi had appeared.

Premier Number One Daughter stood in the archway, a look of absolute horror on her face. Horror changed to fury as she sca

She turned to her father. "What is he doing here?"

"Moving in, it would seem," the Tue-Khan said.

"And you let him!"

"I don't seem to have had a choice, my dear. He ... he brought all of his friends. And some furniture."

"It's horrible," Renimbi said. "Like something from a fun fair. And look what else he is doing! They're tearing up the entire room!"

"High spirits, child. Be a good hostess. We are going to be kin from now on."

"No, we're not," Renimbi said. "I told you I didn't want to marry him. I won't. You can't make me!

The Tue-Khan actually dropped his gaze and shuffled his toe on the marble floor. "I'm afraid that you already have, child."

"What?"

The Tue-Khan produced a paper from the inside of his over-robe. "The clauses written in here ... the lawyers, you know ... insisted I include a consideration to make the contract valid ... and I have always wanted to see the two of you together. I was sure you'd be happy, my dear."

"You tied me to him? And you didn't tell me?"

At last the Tue-Khan was begi

"Tear up the contract!" Renimbi demanded.

The Tue-Khan hastily stuck the parchment roll back into his robe. "Child, my dream has always been to unite our lands. It is already accomplished. We are now one great country. Surely you can put up with one another, say on state occasions, and perhaps to give us a grand-child or two? For your dear old father?" He held out his hands to her.

"No! Never!"

"What a great idea, Re

Renimbi's cheeks turned ochre with fury, but she didn't move. Chumley walked over and tucked her under his arm. She beat and kicked at him as he carried her to Cordu's couch. The prince edged out of reach when Chumley plopped her down. She didn't notice. She sprang up and raced back to the steps of the throne.

"You tied me to him! Now I am stuck with your choice! I hate you! I hate him!"

"My darling, I have only the best intentions for you in my heart!" The Tue-Khan said. Cordu finished his brandy and tossed the priceless glass over his shoulder.

CRASH!

It burst into shards on the floor. The Tue-Khan winced.

"Re

"Urrrrrgggh!" Renimbi shrieked, wringing her hands in anger. "I wish you were dead!"

"Bingo, what?" Chumley said to himself. "Couldn't have scripted it better myself."

"Re

THUNK!

His words were cut off suddenly, because a crossbow bolt buried itself in the center of his chest.

"Gack!" Cordu exclaimed. He clutched the feathered end of the arrow. Larica let out a terrified cry. Cordu staggered to the left. He goggled at the Tue-Khan, whose expression of horror matched his own. He grasped at the air with his free hand then staggered back to the right. He held up a hand as though he was about to make a statement, but his knees collapsed under him. As the assembly in the throne room watched in horror, Cordu toppled over. His eyes sagged closed. Renimbi ran to kneel beside him. She took his wrist, feeling for a pulse.

"Cordy? Cordy? Speak to me!"

"One side. I examine," Chumley said, kneeling beside the prone Cordu. Both women clutched each other. The Troll shook his head with magnificent gravity.

"Dead."

"Dead?" Renimbi said.

Tananda descended magnificently from the ceiling, foot in a loop of rope. The crossbow was slung at her back.

"As ordered, Duchess," she said. "I think I've earned my fee."

"But I didn't really want him dead," Renimbi wailed. "He's my best friend."

"Did you want him as a husband?" Tananda asked, surprised. "He has been acting like such a jerk."

Renimbi wrung her hands.

"I know, but that's just the way he is ... I mean, was. Oh, how could I have been so stupid?"

The Tue-Khan came down from his throne and stood over the body of his momentary son-in-law. Shaking his head, he took the document out of the pocket in his robe. Sorrowfully, he tore it into strips and let the pieces fall down onto the body.

"This agreement becomes null and void on the death of one of the couple," he said. "I should never have let my ambition get in the way of my good sense. I am so very sorry, daughter. Your oldest friend, dead, and all because of me." He turned and pointed a finger at Tananda. "Seize her!"

"You really can't arrest me," Tananda said, as burly Nobs crowded in on her from all sides. "My contract was properly registered with the Assassins' Guild."

One of them fastened manacles around her wrists, and bent to loop lengths of chain around her ankles. She winked outrageously at him.

"You know, I don't usually go in for this kind of thing, but I'll try anything once."