Myth-Told Tales

Spyder hung back, slowing her pace. "Explain to me again, Pookie. Why is it we're going to talk to the sheriff?"

"Since we're pretty much legit this time around, it doesn't hurt to check in with the local law," her partner said.

"Never did like talking to the law." Spyder scowled. "It doesn't ever seem to work out to my advantage. In fact, I usually end up in trouble."

"That might be because you were usually in trouble before you talked to them," Pookie said, sweetly. "Look at it this way, Little Sister. From what we've heard, this job is going to involve us working the countryside. That's never been my favorite setting, since it's invariably full of things that go squish when you step on them and bite you when you're trying to sleep. If at all possible, I'd like to know what or who else will be out there with us. All we need is a bunch of trigger-happy bounty hunters that let fly at anything that moves. The sheriff here should be able to supply us with that information if we ask him nice. So smile pretty, and let me take the lead again."

The office they entered was small and cluttered, with empty wineskins and half-eaten plates of food scattered here and there. It was dominated, though, by the sheriff. He was stocky with a noticeable bulge around his waist-line, and outfitted in a wrinkled ranger uniform that looked like he slept in it That suspicion was easily confirmed by the fact that he was currently sitting behind his desk with his head down on his arms, snoring nasally. Spyder looked at Pookie with her eyebrows raised. Her partner responded with a shrug and a roll of her eyes before clearing her throat.

"Urn ... Excuse me. Sheriff? Are you the sheriff?"

The man lurched upright, blinking dazedly. He did a slight doubletake when he realized the nature of his company, and wiped a grubby hand over his face and beard, forcing a smile.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "Long night and a slow day. So ... What can I do to help you ... ladies?"

"We've heard that you've been having some problems with a Hefalump," Pookie said. "Thought we might give a shot at going after it... if the price is right"

"You have to take that up with the Due." The sheriff yawned. "He's the one putting up the reward. I can tell you the money's good, though. Enough to draw a small troop of sell-swords trying to collect it"

"The Due?"

"He's the one who runs the territory around here. Actually, his name is Duke Rybred, but most folks call him the Due on account of the way he's built. He pretty much stays on his estate just north of the town and leaves the tax collecting and keeping of order to me and my deputies."

"If you don't mind my asking," Pookie said carefully, "why isn't he having you and your deputies take care of this Hefalump instead of advertising for outside help?"

"What, me? Go traipsing around the woods chasing some huge critter that's only bothering the farmers?" The sheriff seemed actually surprised at the thought. "That wasn't what we were hired for. I'm more than happy to leave it to the youngbloods who are out to make a name for themselves."

"Anyone out there ahead of us right now?"

"Naw," the sheriff said, scratching his beard. "Last one came back and left a couple days ago. There were a fair number parading through here for a while, but it's kind of petered out lately. Guess the word has gotten out that the Hefalump is tougher than anyone thought and doesn't take kindly to anyone trying to shoo it away."

Pookie looked at Spyder who shrugged in return. "Well, I guess we'll go talk to the Due ... Duke, now," the Pervect said. "Any tips you can give us on handling the Hefalump?"

The sheriff thought for a moment. "Take extra bandages," he said finally. "And be sure your insurance is paid up."

If the sheriff was unimpressive, the Duke of Rybred was positively underwhelming. Whereas the sheriff had been stocky with a bit of a pot belly, the Due was short and pudgy. He also walked with a rolling waddle that made him look... well, like a duck. Though he dressed well, he had a habit of rubbing his hands together and licking his lips like a miser with an unexpected tax refund. It left one with a feeling one should count one's fingers after shaking hands ... if one cared to shake hands at all.

"Well, well, well," he said, licking his lips and rubbing his hands together. "If nothing else, you two are the most attractive adventurers to try our little quest. Tell you what. Instead of going after the Hefalump and maybe getting your sweet selves dinged up or killed, what would you say to hiring on as my personal bodyguards? It would only be for public appearances ... though I'm sure we would work out some kind of a bonus program for overtime."

"I think we'll take our chances with the Hefalump," Pookie said. "That was for five hundred in gold. Right?"

"That's right," the Due said, apparently unaffected by the rejection. "Five hundred once the beast is killed or scared off. Now you two girls be careful when you go after it"

"You have no idea how careful we can be." Pookie smiled. "For example, how do we know we'll get out money after we've killed the critter?"

The Due's smile wavered a little. "Why, because I've told you I'll pay you. Surely you don't doubt my word?"

"Not yours specifically," Pookie said. "Still, it isn't entirely unheard of that an adventurer has taken on some dangerous assignment only to find that when it was over, whoever hired him had a sudden memory lapse as to the exact amount promised. Some have even forgotten that payment was promised at all. On the off chance that something like that happened to us, we don't have much recourse. I mean, what can we do? Sue you? As I understand it you're the one who sits in judgment around here. We couldn't forcibly take it from you without having to face your household guards who, of course, would be on the alert at that time. Even if we got mad and just killed you, that still wouldn't get us our money. See what I mean?"

"Yes. I can see where that would be a problem," the Due said, avoiding their eyes.

"Now, we don't mind risking our necks for money," Pookie said. "That's our business. It's just that we'd like some kind of assurance that we'll actually get our money at the end of it"

"What do you suggest?"

"Put it in escrow," Pookie said with a shrug. "Send the money to ... say, the sheriff to hold until the job's over. We check with him, make sure the money's there and waiting for us, then we go after your Hefalump."

That's fine by me," the Due said, licking his lips. "Ill be glad when this situation is handled, believe me. As far as I'm concerned, the beast could go on doing its thing. It didn't bother anybody until they expanded their fields into its territory. If the farmers hadn't threatened to with-hold their taxes until I did something about it, I would have just ignored the whole thing."

"Part of the price of ruling, I guess," Pookie said. "So, if we're in agreement, well drop by the sheriffs ... say, tomorrow to check on the reward. Then well be on our way."

"... 496 ... 497 ... 498 ... 499 ... 500! It's all here."

Pookie waved at her junior partner as she poured yet another flagon of wine for the sheriff.

"I gotta hand it to you two," the sheriff said, raising the flagon in a mock toast. "I always thought the Due was clever, but you've got him beat. 'Put the money in escrow.' I tell you with all the sell-swords and adventurers that have come through here, no one else has come up with that move."

"We've just had a little more experience with money grubbers than most" Pookie smiled, sipping at her own drink.

"Umm ... can I ask a question?" Spyder said.

"You not only can, you may," her companion said. "Huh?"

"Never mind." Pookie waved. "What's the question?"

"Well, you keep talking about how clever the Due is," Spyder said with a frown. "I wasn't all that impressed with him."