The Diceman

A cube of Trustees meeting of the DICELIFE Foundation had been scheduled there for after Rhinehart's appearance on the television program. Such meetings occur in such random places and at such random times that few have ever been recorded. Present that afternoon were Wipple, an essentially conservative man whose keen capitalist mind has somehow been poisoned by the atmosphere of dicepeople; Mrs. Lillian Rhinehart, who had recently passed the New York State Bar Examination despite allegedly casting a die to choose answers to several of the multiple-choice questions; Dr. Jacob Ecstein, the deeply compromised associate of many of Rhinehart's ventures, who is reportedly acting in an increasingly eccentric and irresponsible ma

These six people had all gathered at Wipple's by 5 P.M. that afternoon an hour after the conclusion of `Religion for Our Time' - but only Mrs. Rhinehart appeared to have watched the Program; she informed the others about what had happened. A long discussion of the possible consequences of Rhinehart's behavior took place, some of it sickeningly frivolous (e.g., Ecstein suggested they hide Rhinehart by burying him in the sand). While Miss Reichman made phone calls trying to find out what had happened to him, Wipple indicated repeated concern over the effect Rhinehart's association with such dregs as Ca

Miss Reichman and the two Finemans left the apartment at this point to try to find out at the television studio and from the police what had happened to Rhinehart; it was almost two hours since the end of the program and no word had yet been received from or about Rhinehart.

The discussion continued in our desultory ma

When Mrs. Rhinehart and Ecstein indicated a lack of interest in what IRS did, Wipple noted that he deducted three hundred thousand dollars a year from his income, which partly accounted for his generous contributions to the foundation. He added that according to the latest treasurer's report, prepared by a reliable dice-accountant whom the dice had permitted to be accurate, the foundation's failure to charge reasonable fees for presence at the Dice Centers, for group therapy, for their children's dice games and for their various publications was meaning a net loss of over one hundred thousand dollars a month (Ecstein commented 'Right-on!').

[We begin our verbatim report at this point (HJW behavouralism: 4.17.71.7.22. 7.39)]

`[The voice of Wipple) Sooner or later we've simply got to start getting some more income. Don't you people realize that other businesses throughout the country are cashing in for incredible amounts on Diceboy and Dicegirl T-shirts, green-dice sports shirts, cufflinks, necklaces, tie clips, bracelets, bikinis, earrings, diaper pins, love beads, candy bars? That dice manufacturers have quadrupled their sales in the last year?'

`Sure,' said Jake Ecstein. `I bought a hundred shares of Hot Toys Co., Inc. at 21 about a year ago and just sold out

yesterday at 681. `But what about us?' Wipple exclaimed. `Other dicelife games, selling for four times what we charge for ours and, you tell me, totally missing the whole point of diceliving, are making millions, while we sell ours for less than cost. And bars and discotheques with a five-dollar cover charge, are advertising dice-dice girls who strip at random, while our Dice Centers Sodom and Gommorah are practically free. Everyone's making money out of the dice except us!'

'That's the way the cubes cool,' said Ecstein.

`We keep giving the Die options to make us some profit and It keeps turning us down,' said Mrs. Rhinehart.

`But I can't keep covering these losses.'

`No one's asking you to.'

`But the Die keeps telling me to!'

['The sound of Ecstein and Mrs. Rhinehart laughing.]

`So far we're the only religion in world history that's losing money hand-over-fist,' said Ecstein. `I don't know why,

but it makes me feel good.'

`Look H.J.,' said Mrs. Rhinehart. `Money, power. Diceboy T-shirts, green-dice love beads, the Church of the Die #161;

everything people are doing with the dice - all are irrelevant. Diceliving is Only our game to promote multiple game-

playing; our theater to Promote multiple theater. Profits aren't part of our act.'

'You're playing the saint, Lil,' said Ecstein. `If we're begi

public.'

I tell you we've got to do something about this IRS business or I'm through,' said Wipple. `We must hire the best

lawyers in the country to fight this ruling - to the Supreme Court if necessary.

'It'll be a waste of money, H.J.'

Still,' said Mrs. Rhinehart. `It might be educational to have the issues debated in the courts. "What is religion?"

"What is therapeutic?"

"What is education?"

I'm fairly certain I could make a strong case that the IRS would be the last organization likely to have the answers.'

I suggest we hire you to appeal the IRS decision,' said Ecstein.

`We need the best money lawyers can buy,' said Wipple.

`We need a dicelawyer,' said Ecstein. `No one else would know what he was trying to defend.'

'Dicepeople are unreliable,' said Wipple.

[Again there is laughter, in, which a nervous guffaw of Wipple can be heard too. The buzzing sound of the inter-

building telephone is heard and Wipple apparently leaves the room to answer it.]

'I hope Luke's all right,' Mrs. Rhinehart said.

`Nothing can hurt Luke,' said Ecstein.

'Mmmmm.'

'What are you consulting the Die about?' Ecstein asked.

`I just wanted to see how I should react to news of his death.'

`What did the Die say?'

'It said joy.'

Chapter Ninety-five

It had been an interesting program, with significant talk, action audience participation: a thoughtful dramatization of