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But instead you told me you were betrothed to him. What was I to do then?" "Obviously," she said, "there was only one thing /to/ do, and you did it. You told everyone in the ballroom." "I confided in two of my fellow officers," he admitted. "They are my friends and I trust them. I asked their opinion on whether a man who had known you all his life as a neighbor and friend had the right to interfere in your life to the extent of trying to persuade you to break your engagement." "You have /not/ known me all my life," she said. "You have not known me /at all/ for the last twelve years, Crispin." … /as a neighbor and friend/ … Those words had stung. Had there been nothing else between them as far as he was concerned? "Meg," he said, "Sheringford is a scoundrel of the first order. He ought not even to have been there last night. I doubt he had been sent an invitation. You ca
He flushed. "You would have married me once upon a time," he said. "If your father had lived, we probably /would/ have married long ago. Nothing much has changed since then except that we are both a little older. And except that you are lovelier now than you were then." He smiled. "And that you have been married in the meanwhile," she said. "And that you have a daughter." "Who needs a mother," he said softly. "Meg – " But she held up a hand and he stopped.
He was asking her to marry him. After all this time, after all that had happened, he expected her to /marry/ him? After the terrible embarrassment he had caused her last evening?
But she would not allow her attention to be diverted from the main issue. "It was one of the other officers who spread the news of my betrothal last evening, then?" she asked. "Is that what you are saying, Crispin?" "It was not intentional, and it was certainly not malicious," he said. "I was ready to rip him apart this morning after hearing all the gossip last evening and reading the papers this morning. But he was as concerned as I. He merely mentioned what I had told him to his cousin when he spoke with her after leaving me – in strictest confidence, of course. He had wanted her opinion." And so stories, rumors, gossip spread as surely as a wildfire did after a single spark had caught alight. The cousin had told someone else in confidence, and that someone else … Well. "I am so very, very sorry, Meg," he said. "I realize it must be distressing to you to have your betrothal made public before you had even had a chance to break the news to your family – and presumably before Sheringford could apply formally to Stephen for your hand. But there would have been gossip sooner or later, you know, if your brother and sisters had been unable to talk you out of such an ineligible co
He had the grace to flush again. "Sometimes," he said, "we need time in which to gain wisdom and make up for past mistakes." "I do hope," she said, "you are not calling your late wife a mistake, Crispin. Or your daughter. And perhaps Lord Sheringford ought to be granted the same opportunity to demonstrate that he is wiser now than he was five years ago and is willing and able to recover from past mistakes." He sighed audibly and then made her another bow. "Your family will all have something to say about this betrothal, I promise you," he said. "Listen to them, Meg. Don't go against them just out of stubbor
Margaret stood where she was, listening to his boot heels ringing on the marble floor of the hall and to the sounds of the outer door opening for him and then closing behind him. /He had asked her to marry him/.
The last time he asked she had wanted quite literally to die because she had loved him so very dearly but had been unable to accept his proposal, because he was going away to war and she had to stay home to bring up her brother and sisters.
And now?
Could a love of that magnitude die? If it was true love, could it ever die? Was there such a thing as true love? Life was very sad if there were not – and unbearably so if one's experience with romantic love turned one into an incurable cynic.
She did not love Crispin any longer. She did not /want/ to love him again. Things could never be the same between them. Was love conditional, then? Was she determined not to love him because he had been faithless once and caused her years of heartache?
Whoever could possibly deserve love if it was conditional upon perfect behavior?
Did /he/ love /her/? He had said he adored her. But did he also /love/ her? Had he /ever/? But if he had, how could he have married someone else?
Had he loved his wife – Teresa?
Oh, she was horribly upset again. She had thought Crispin could never again have this power over her.
Margaret sighed and shook her head and turned determinedly to the door.
She would go and make that call on Vanessa. She would see the children and restore her spirits. Never mind that silly gossip last evening or the even sillier paragraph in this morning's paper. And never mind Crispin Dew. Or the Earl of Sheringford, who had to marry within the next two weeks or lose everything until after his grandfather died. Why should she care about that? And never mind the Marquess of Allingham and his pretty Miss Milfort.
Life could be unutterably depressing at times, but it went on. There was no point in giving in to depression.
There was a tap on the door and it opened before she could reach it. "There is a Mrs. Pe
Mrs. /Pe
Was this whole foolish business /never/ to end? "Show her in, by all means," she said.
Mrs. Pe
Not his mother, then, Margaret thought. His sister? But she was /Mrs/.
Pe
Margaret inclined her head. "We have not met," the lady said, her voice sweet and breathless, "but I felt compelled to call upon you as soon as I heard. You /must/ not marry Lord Sheringford, Miss Huxtable. You /really/ must not. He is the very devil and will bring you nothing but misery and ostracism from society.
Do please forgive this impertinence from a complete stranger, but I had to take the risk of coming and warning you." Margaret rejected her first impulse, which was to offer the lady a seat.