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It felt like every molecule of my body was tired, but I couldn't sleep. I guess I missed Stevie Rae's soft snores and the sense that I wasn't alone. A sadness washed over me that was so deep I thought I might drown in it.
Two soft knocks came on the door. Then it opened slowly. I half sat up to see Shaunee and Erin, both in their pajamas and slippers, clutching pillows and blankets.
"Can we sleep with you?" Erin asked.
"We didn't want to be alone," Shaunee said.
"Yeah, and we thought you might not want to be alone, either," Erin finished.
"You're right. I don't." I swallowed back more tears. "Come on in.
They shuffled in and, with only a little hesitation, piled onto Stevie Rae's bed. Their long-haired silver-gray cat, Beelzebub, hopped up between them. Nala raised her head from my pillow to glance at him, and then, as if he were beneath her queenly notice, she curled back up and went promptly to sleep.
I was just drifting off to sleep when another soft knock came on the door. This time it didn't open, so I called, "Who is it?"
"Me."
Shaunee, Erin, and I blinked at each other. Then I hurried over to the door and opened it to find Damien standing in the hall wearing fla
"What are you doing, Damien? You know you're go
"Yeah, it's way past curfew," Erin said.
"You might be here getting ready to defile us virgins," Shaunee said. Then she and Erin looked at each other and burst out laughing, which made me smile. It was weird to have a happy feeling in the middle of such sadness, which is probably why the Twins' laughter and my smile faded quickly.
"Stevie Rae wouldn't want us to quit being happy," Damien said into the uncomfortable silence. Then he walked to the middle of the room and spread out his sleeping bag on the floor between the two beds. "And I'm here because we need to stick together. Not because I want to defile any of you, even if all of you were still virgins, although I do appreciate your use of vocabulary."
Erin and Shaunee snorted, but looked more amused than offended, and I made a mental note to ask them sex questions later.
"Well, I'm glad you came, but we're go
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. The vamps are posting that the school's closed today due to snow. No one’ll be rushing anywhere. I'll just walk out with y'all whenever."
"Posting? You mean we'd have to wake up, get dressed, and go downstairs before we found out there wasn't any school? That sucks," I said.
I could hear the smile in Damien's voice. "They a
"No," I said quickly, trying to cover his awkwardness. "We used to listen to country music. It always made me hurry up and get ready quicker so I could escape from it." My friends laughed softly. I waited until everyone was quiet again, and then I said, "I'm not going to forget her, and I'm not going to pretend like her death doesn't mean anything to me."
"Neither am I," Damien said.
"Me either," Shaunee said.
"Ditto, Twin," Erin said.
After a while I said, "I didn't think it could happen to a fledgling who had been given an affinity by Nyx. I—I just didn't think it could happen."
"No one's guaranteed to make it through the Change, not even those gifted by the Goddess," Damien said quietly.
"That just means we have to stick together," Erin said.
"It's the only way we can get through this," Shaunee said.
"That's what we'll do then—stick together," I said with finality.
"And promise that if the worst happens, and some of the rest of us don't make it through, the others won't let them be forgotten."
"Promise," my three friends said solemnly.
We all settled down then. The room didn't feel so lonely anymore, and just before I drifted off to sleep I whispered, "Thanks for not letting me be alone ..." and wasn't sure if I was thanking my friends, my Goddess, or Stevie Rae.
CHAPTER 25
It was snowing in my dream. At first I thought that was cool. I mean, it really was beautiful … it made the world look Disney-like and perfect, as if nothing bad could happen, or if it did it was only temporary, because everyone knows Disney is all about happily ever after ...
I walked slowly, not feeling the cold. It seemed to be just before sunrise, but it was hard to tell with the sky all snowy and gray. I tilted my head back and looked at how the snow clung to the thick branches of the old oaks, and made the east wall look soft, and less imposing.
The east wall.
In my dream I hesitated when I realized where I was. Then I saw the figures, hooded and cloaked, standing in a group of four in front of the open trapdoor in the wall.
No! I told my dreaming self. I don't want to be over here. Not so soon after Stevie Rae died. After the last two times fledglings died I saw their ghosts or spirits or undead walking bodies or whatever here. Even if I had been gifted with a weird ability to see the dead by Nyx. Enough was enough! I didn't want—
The smallest of the cloaked figures turned around and my internal argument scattered from my mind. It was Stevie Rae! Only it wasn't. She looked too pale and thin. And there was something else about her. I stared, and my initial hesitation was overcome by a terrible need within me to understand. I mean, if it really was Stevie Rae, then I didn't need to be afraid of her. Even weirdly changed by death, she was still my best friend. Wasn't she? I couldn't help moving forward until I was standing only a few feet from the group. I held my breath, waiting for them to turn on me, but no one noticed me. In my dream world it was as though I was invisible to them. So I moved even closer, unable to take my eyes from Stevie Rae. She looked terrible—frantic—and she kept moving restlessly, shifting her eyes around her like she was extremely nervous or extremely afraid.
"We shouldn't be here. We need to leave."
I jumped at the sound of Stevie Rae's voice. She still had her Okie accent, but nothing else was recognizable. Her tone was hard and flat, lacking all emotions except a kind of animallike nervousness.
"You're not in charge of usssss," one of the other cloaked figures hissed, baring his teeth at Stevie Rae. Oh, ugh! It was that Elliott creature. Even though his body was weirdly hunched, he stood over her aggressively. His eyes had begun to glow a dirty red. I was afraid for her, but she didn't let him intimidate her, instead Stevie Rae bared her own teeth, her eyes blazed scarlet, and she gave an ugly snarl. Then she spat the words at him, "Does the earth answer you? No!" She walked forward, and Elliott automatically took several steps backward. "And until it does, you will obey me! That's what she said."
The Elliott thing made an awkward, subservient bow that the two other cloaked figures mimicked. Then Stevie Rae pointed toward the open trapdoor. "Now, we go quickly." But before any of them moved I heard a familiar voice from the other side of the wall.
"Hey, do y'all know Zoey Redbird? I need to tell her I'm here and—"
Heath's voice broke off when the four creatures, with blurring speed, rushed through the door after him.