The Gargoyle

“Not so fast,” Nan said sharply, before turning her attention on me. “As you know, you’ll probably be released in a few months-”

“-and then you’re coming to live in my house.” The impatience in Maria

“Calm down.” Nan held up her hand while shooting Maria

“He doesn’t have anywhere else to go.”

Nan countered, “I’ve already arranged for a place in Phoenix Hall.”

“He doesn’t want to live there.” Which was true, I didn’t, but Dr. Edwards had long been recommending it because of its highly trained workers, job placement programs, and proper medical supplies. In addition, it had counselors, not to mention other burn patients who would be facing the same challenges as I.

“I work with the patients at Phoenix,” Sayuri said, “so if you go there, we can continue your gait training.”

“I’ll hire you,” Maria

This suggestion made Sayuri look towards Dr. Edwards uneasily. “I don’t know hospital policy on that.”

Nan replied that beyond policy issues, Phoenix Hall had a host of professionals, all ready to offer their expertise. Maria

She wheeled around to look directly at me, and finally asked what I wanted. “Do you want to go to this Phoenix place?”

“No.”

“Do you want to come to my house?”

“Yes.”

Maria

It might have been prudent to claim that I needed time to think. After all, I had just chosen Maria

If there was one thing I could be certain about, however, it was that everyone in the room truly had my best interests at heart. I hadn’t known that Maria

“There’s still plenty of time to make an informed decision,” Nan said, indicating that this discussion was anything but finished. It was not lost on anyone how heavily she stressed the word informed.

There were practical concerns that I could not ignore in regard to living with Maria

Housing a burn patient is incredibly expensive. Beyond my treatment costs-Sayuri’s fees, medical supplies, exercise equipment-there would be regular living expenses. Food. Clothes. Entertainment. Utilities. She would have to pay the costs of my life not only as a patient, but as a man as well. While there might be government programs or charities that would contribute to my care, I doubted Maria

Not only was living with her fiscally questionable, it was also morally suspect. As the basis of the offer was her belief that her “last heart” was for me, I would clearly be taking advantage, under false pretenses, of a confused woman. As the sane one, not only did I know better, I was obligated to act upon the fact that I knew better. And in any case, why should I put myself in the position of depending upon a mentally ill woman whom I hardly knew? Although my circumstances had changed and I was less physically able than previously, I had been on my own since my teens. Before that, even: as guardians, the Graces had been competent only at guarding their drug stashes. For all intents and purposes, I had looked after myself since I was six years old.

So I had been mistaken in accepting Maria

When Gregor came by that afternoon to drop off Sayuri’s present, he congratulated me on my decision to move in with Maria

I knew Gregor well enough to recognize when he was not saying all that he was thinking. This was one of those times. “But…?”

Gregor looked to the left, and then to the right, to ensure that no one was around to overhear him. “But even monkeys fall from trees.”

I had no idea what this meant, so Gregor explained: Even experts make mistakes. “While Dr. Edwards is your physician, and a good one, I don’t think you should underestimate Maria

HE THINKS YOUR NUTJOB GIRLFRIEND IS SERIOUS ABOUT YOU.

Shut up, fuck. I corrected Gregor. “She’s delusional.”

“Go ahead and deny it,” he said, “but it’s obvious.”

THAT’S SO CUTE.

I wasn’t going to bother arguing the point; I didn’t feel up to that. “What would you do?”

“I’d be worried about living with Maria

“Even if she is fond of me-and I’m not saying that she is-I’m not really sure how I feel about her.” I paused. “I don’t know.”

“If you don’t accept her invitation, you’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met,” Gregor said. “In addition to being a lousy liar.”

When you lie in a hospital bed long enough, you start a mental catalogue of all human contact. I touched Gregor on the back of his hand, the first time we’d ever touched, and said, “Thank you for bringing Sayuri’s present.”

A TOUCHING MOMENT…

I buzzed the nurse to ask for more morphine.

… BETWEEN LOSERS.

On Christmas morning, Maria

In the early afternoon, Sayuri and Gregor arrived, followed by Co

The nurses had pitched in to buy me some books on subjects that had recently taken my interest, such as the i