The Gargoyle

“I’m fine.” The words came tersely. Perhaps she was afraid her costume would put her right back in the loony bin, as wandering through the burn ward in bandages was whimsical at best and a bad joke at worst.

In an effort to put her at ease, Gregor said, “Halloween’s my favorite holiday, even more than Christmas. Your costume is great.” He paused to give her the chance to respond but she didn’t, so he continued, “It’s very appealing for psychiatrists, you know. Seeing everyone’s costume is kind of a peek into their deepest fantasies. Me, I’m going to dress up as a murderous Bolshevik.”

Maria

She loosened up after he left, feeding me chocolate bars and telling ghost stories-the traditional kind, not those which featured her personal acquaintances. She told the famous story of the two young kids who, after hearing a radio a

While talking, Maria

The last thing she said, before leaving in the early hours of the morning, was “Just wait until Halloween next year. We’re going to go to a wonderful party…”

The harvesting of my skin was occurring less often. Surgeries still marked my days, which was only to be expected, but my suicidal daydreams were now almost completely gone and I had become Sayuri’s star pupil. I could lie and say this was because of my strong sense of character, and that I was determined to keep my deal with Nan. I could lie and say I was doing it for myself. I could lie and say I was doing it because I’d seen the light. But mostly I was doing it to impress Maria

HOW CUTE. My bitchsnake flicked its tail and tongue, cheerfully caressing me at both ends. I WONDER WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOSPITAL?

I’d graduated to shuffling a few steps at a time, using an aluminum walker. I felt foolish, but Sayuri assured me that I’d soon be moving up to canes that wrapped around the forearms.

One thing that helped immensely was a pair of orthopedic shoes that had been designed specifically for me. The first pair made my feet ache so the expert cobbled together a second pair that worked out the problems. The greatest advantage of the shoes, however, was mental rather than physical. Shoes are a great equalizer for a man with lost toes: they are like leather disguises that make one’s ruined feet look normal.

I had to admit that Sayuri knew precisely what she was doing. In the begi

Now that I could take a few steps out of the bed, I started shuffling off to my washroom when I needed to relieve myself. One would imagine this to be a great step forward in the feeling of self-reliance but it was a psychological blow to discover I could no longer pee while standing up. I found this state of affairs unreasonably emasculating.

I was nearing the eight-month mark of my hospitalization, and Christmas was coming. Maria

On the evening of December sixth, Maria

When Co

I was touched by the incident, more than I would have expected. My reaction was not so much to the gift of money itself, but to the thought that Maria

Maria

I requested that Gregor drop by at the end of one of my exercise sessions with Sayuri. When both were there, I began: “Feel free to say no, but the two of you could really help me out. I hope you can do some shopping for me.”

Gregor asked why I needed both of them. Because I wanted to give each of them a gift, I explained, and I could hardly ask them to buy their own. Sayuri would purchase my gift for Gregor, and Gregor could buy my gift for Sayuri. The remainder of the gifts, they could shop for together.

“No worries,” Sayuri said. “I love Christmas shopping.”

Hearing this, Gregor also quickly agreed. I gave each an envelope that included what I wanted them to buy, on my behalf, for the other. As they left the room Gregor glanced back at me, a strange little smile on his face.

Maria