Panic Attack

Instead of going all the way back through the house to the back door and then having to go through the backyard, all the way around the driveway, he went toward the front door. His eyes had adjusted more, and there was enough light there from the streetlights outside to see what he was doing as he unbolted two locks and unchained the door. He wasn’t afraid the guy would shoot him in the back because he knew, he just knew, the guy had been bullshitting.

A few seconds later Joh

Joh

Joh

He wasn’t going to take any chances. He jogged to the end of the platform, then jumped onto the tracks and headed into the tu

Joh

It only took him about ten minutes or so to reach the Sixty- seventh Avenue station. He was going to continue through the tu

Less than an hour later, he arrived at his tiny studio apartment in a walk- up tenement on Van Brunt Street in Red Hook, all the way out near the river. He still felt bad about maybe ditching Carlos, but he kept telling himself that he’d done the right thing. Even if Carlos had been alive he would’ve been seriously injured, bleeding like hell, and it would’ve been impossible to get him out of the house. But no matter how hard Joh

He took a long shower, thinking about all the ifs. If it hadn’t started to rain that night in the city, if he hadn’t gone into the Molly Wee Pub, if he hadn’t picked up that girl Theresa, if he hadn’t gone to the diner with Carlos, if he’d just said “No thanks” at any point. He felt like a total idiot, but now his biggest concern was not messing up his life even more. He knew that with his prettyboy looks he couldn’t survive jail again- especially a long stretch. He’d kill himself before he had to be a sissy for all those guys again.

Joh

What had Carlos said her last name was? He’d mentioned it the other night, when they got together in the city, on that bench in Battery Park, and went over the robbery plans for the final time. Was it Madena? Madano? Madeno? With the hot water beating down on his head, Joh

There were probably dozens of ways the cops could co

Joh

The sun was starting to rise when Joh

Joh

It was past seven thirty- about five hours since the robbery. The cops, if they’d moved fast, could’ve already gotten to her. A good sign: Joh

Joh