Chill Factor

"Siobhan," Kevin said quietly. "Don't."

"Yeah. Don't." Jonathan's tolerance for Kevin clearly didn't extend to girlfriends. "Butt out, Red, and I won't feel the need to show you the curb the hard way."

That gave me a nice, cold shiver. When Siobhan started to fire back a retort, I shook my head. "No," I said. "He's not kidding. Just relax, okay?"

"Like you care." She had a glare identical to Kevin's. Interesting. Maybe he actually had found a soul mate, all the way out here. A soul mate with her picture plastered on call-girl cards all over the street, but hey, it wasn't like Kevin was fresh out of the I

"I care," I said gently. "I'm trying to keep him alive. Just do what this guy tells you, okay? And let me handle the witty banter."

Jonathan was looking bored. When I turned my attention back to him, he did an exaggerated lift of his eyebrows to indicate just how extreme his e

"What do you want?" I asked.

His eyes flickered, and for a second I thought he really was going to swat me like a fly. And then he smiled. "Okay. Here's the truth: I want you to be careful."

"And you care because…?"

His eyes focused briefly and pointedly where the warm spark of life fluttered inside me. "Got reasons."

"I'm not naming him after you, if that's what you're thinking."

Jonathan's lips curled into a deeper smile. A real one, nothing sinister or sarcastic about it. When he looked at me like that-no, at what was in me-I felt faint. He had the same supernatural power David possessed to make women's clothes fall off; he just rarely bothered to show it. I was grateful. If he'd looked at me like that before, I might've handed over David's bottle without a fight.

Well, not really. But I would've thought about it.

"Because of Imara," Jonathan said. Purred, actually. It was that kind of a word.

"Excuse me?" Before I could react, he stood up, reached over, and put his hand over my stomach. His touch was hot enough to scorch, almost painful, and I opened my mouth to yelp…

… and it ceased to hurt at all. There was a fast whirl of images that burned through me: a young woman with luxuriant black hair that fell in cascades to her waist. Laughing, talking, moving with the supernatural fury and grace of a Dji

I caught my breath and felt tears run cold down my cheeks. Where Jonathan's hand had rested felt branded.

"Imara," I whispered. My child.

He was still next to me, close as a second skin, and his lips were warm at my ear. "Dji

"So why are you keeping me alive, then?" I wiped at the tears, angry. He took a step back.

"Not human death. Not powerful enough."

I felt a cold flash, and said, "The death of a Dji

No answer. Just that look from him, unexpectedly unguarded.

"And not just any Dji

"No," he said. "Not just any."

I felt light-headed and sick, every cut a nuclear fire, every ache another notch on the torture rack. My head throbbed hard and continuously, a strobe light of pain. I was aching and weary, and my hairline-fractured collarbone screamed every time I dared to move it, which now that adrenaline was fading I didn't even attempt.

I slowly let myself sit down again. "You mean David," I whispered. "David has to die for her to be born. God, I can't do this."

"Can't what?" he asked me. "Can't survive? Sure you can. That's what people do. They survive. It's the one thing about them I admire."

"I want to stop hurting." I was cold, wet, exhausted, wrung out. My daughter-the daughter I couldn't have without losing someone else I loved-my daughter had looked superhuman. I wasn't. "I want to be out of this, Jonathan. Let's end this."

He nodded, not unkindly. "Then get out. Walk away."

Kevin stepped up again, chin jutting out. "Hey! I said I want her dead, okay? She's trying to screw us! Just do it right-"

Jonathan, in a lightning-fast move, reached out and thumped him on the forehead. Just once.

Bop.

Kevin's eyes rolled back in his head, and he dropped. Siobhan yelled and went down on her knees next to him, fingertips pressed to his neck, but she needn't have bothered; Jonathan couldn't kill his own master. No matter how much he wanted to.

Kevin was sleeping like a baby.

"We'll take that up later," Jonathan said, and fixed Siobhan with a warning look. "Don't say a word."

She swallowed a mouthful of curses and ducked away.

I should do something, I thought. But honestly, what did it all matter, anyway? The kid was going to either get me killed or kill me himself. If he formulated the order right, Jonathan wouldn't have any choice but to carry it out.

I didn't have to care about any of this. Jonathan had already told me I could walk away. The Ma'at weren't my buddies. The Wardens… well, the Wardens hadn't exactly stepped up to shouldering the burdens. They'd sold me down the river when I most needed their support. And maybe Qui

Worse… who'd care? Yvette Prentiss had violated every code the Wardens possessed. She'd ignored her duties, abused her stepson, used her Dji

The Ma'at had some clear ethics-not to be confused with morals-but it was a chilly kind of arrogance, an icy view of the world. Human suffering didn't even factor into the equations. They concerned themselves with numbers, not faces. I could see why that appealed to Lewis; as caring and vulnerable as he was, numbers must have been an escape from the constant agony of feeling the weight of the world.

But I couldn't be that. I couldn't reduce people to numbers and trend lines. Ma'at's principles said that the forest had to burn, but I'd fight the fire every step, protect every tree, until the smoke choked me or I went up with the rest. That was my nature. You know what you look like in Oversight? Goddamn Saint Joan the martyr. You burn real bright, Joa