Deadly Desire

"It's not like anyone has ever tried to sit down and examine the rule of soul mates. It just is."

"But I've never heard of anyone actively disliking her soul mate. Surely there has to be some sort of co

Another bitter, edgy laugh escaped. "Oh, there's plenty of attraction."

So much so that I very much doubted that Kye would actually stay away for long. He couldn't, not if he was feeling what I was feeling-a cold emptiness that seemed to clutch at the heart and make it ache. Make me ache.

"I didn't mean physical attraction-that's obvious. I meant you've got to have a lot more in common than just physical attraction."

I took a drink of coffee and looked up at him. "And where in the rule book does it say that?"

He frowned. "Well, it only makes sense, doesn't it? Why else would the bond be a lifetime one? There has to be at least some common ground between the two parties involved."

"There's lots of cultures around the world that still believe in arranged marriages, Rhoan. In such situations, the families pick the mates, and often it's without input from either person." I paused for more coffee. "And a lot of the time, it's done purely for social or economic gains for the family."

"That's different."

"No, it's not, because either way the participants have no choice, whether the decision is being made by the parents, or by the moon and fate."

"Damn it, it's wrong. He's a killer-a cold-blooded killer. He can't be your soul mate!"

I smiled, and again it was bitter. "We're both killers, Rhoan."

"But we kill for the right reasons. We don't hire ourselves out to the highest bidder."

No, but we still killed, and i

I rubbed my eyes again. "None of this really matters, Rhoan. It is what it is, and now we have to deal with it."

"How did Kye deal with it?"

"About as well as me. He doesn't want it any more than I do."

"So where is he?"

"I have no idea." And despite the coldness deep within, I didn't really care. I didn't want to care. Not about him, not ever. "He's probably off somewhere shooting someone in frustration, for all I know."

"If he did, we could hunt him down and-"

"And what?" I interrupted. "Kill him? You know the lore, Rhoan. Kill him, and you kill me."

He gave me a glance. "Ben didn't die when his soul mate died."

"But he wanted to. It was only his sister who kept him alive."

"And you think I wouldn't do the same for you?"

I placed a hand on his knee and squeezed lightly. "I know you would. But I don't ever want to face that decision or that situation. It's better if he's alive and out there somewhere."

Just not in my face. Or in my life.

But would fate let things go on like that? I had a bad feeling the answer would be no.

He blew out a breath and took another sip of his coffee. "So what do we do?"

"Right now?"

"Right now, and later on."

"Well, the first thing I need to do is go talk to Qui

"Oh, fuck."

"Yeah," I said, keeping my voice even though everything inside seemed to hurt. Or everything that wasn't half frozen, at least.

"What the hell are you going to say to him?"

I snorted softly. "Why do you think I've been sitting out here for the last two hours?"

"You've got to tell him. You owe him that."

"But he doesn't deserve this." Neither of us deserved it. Not when everything was finally starting to fall into place between us.

He hugged me harder and for several minutes, we didn't say anything. Just sat there contemplating the evilness of the universe. Or at least, that's what I was contemplating.

I drained the remainder of my coffee, then said, "There is one tiny spark of hope."

"Of what?"

"Of me and Qui

Rhoan snorted. "You may not want Kye as a soul mate, and he may not want you, but trust me, he's not going to be interested in sharing, either."

"Qui

"Liander is an amazingly patient and loving person. I get the feeling Kye will be neither of those." Rhoan drained his own cup, then plucked mine from my fingers and tossed both into the nearby trash can. "Besides, what makes you think that Qui

"But what if he's my soul mate, too?"

Rhoan looked at me like I was crazy. "What are you talking about?"

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Dia once asked me if a wolf with two souls can have just the one soul mate. What if she's right? What if both men are meant to be in my life?"

"I think you're asking for a whole lot of trouble even contemplating that."

"It's not like I actually want both men."

"No, but you're a wolf in all but blood. That means one soul mate, not two."

"So, I can't have two soul mates," I retorted, pulling away from his arm, "but it's okay for you to have a soul mate and play around?"

"It's different, sis."

"No, it's not."

"Liander won't be driven to kill because he knows, without a doubt, that he is the only one that means something to me. There's no shared emotion with anyone else. No danger that I will ever want to stay with anyone else." He touched my chin gently and made me look at him. "How can you possibly promise that to Qui

"I'm never going to have kids, Rhoan-"

"Maybe you can't carry them, but you have viable eggs frozen and there are always surrogates. Kye gives you an option. Qui

"I know, but-"

"No. You have to consider these things now, before you make any decisions you'll regret."

I stared at him for a moment. "You want Kye in the family?"

He snorted. "God no. I just want you to be fully aware of all the implications before you make any lifetime decisions."

"Kye isn't a lifetime decision." He was a problem I might never get around.

"Realistically, he's more lifetime than Qui

"I can't, but-"

"You cant," he cut in. "So you're left with the possibility of two men who won't share, one of whom who has already proven he will go to great lengths to make you his."

I jerked away from his touch again and thrust to my feet, taking several steps away from him before I stopped. I breathed deep, but it still didn't do anything to ease the turmoil within me.

"This might be all a moot point anyway," I said eventually, "because I might not be like you. I might not even want anyone else now that my wolf has found her soul mate."

Hell, Ben had been like that. He might take other lovers now, but certainly not when his soul mate was alive. And with the games fate was playing, it'd be my luck to be more like Ben than my brother-and the result would be the loss of a man I really wanted over one I didn't.

"Then this arguing is pointless. You need to uncover all the facts before you worry about the consequences."

I closed my eyes. It was a moment, a discovery, I really didn't want to make. Because once I knew, I would face the hardest decision of all.

"It's only going to get harder the longer you leave it, sis," Rhoan said softly. "Just do it. Now. Then you'll know, one way or the other."