The Nice and the Good

This metaphysical dilemma was present to him at times not in any clear conceptual form but rather as an atmosphere, a feeling of bewildered guilt which was almost sexual in quality and not altogether unpleasant. If Ducane had believed in God, which he had not done since he abandoned, at the age of fifteen, the strict low church Glaswegian Protestantism in which he had been brought up, he would have prayed, instantly and hard, whenever he perceived this feeling coming on. As it was he endured it grimly, as it were with his eyes tight shut, trying not to let it proliferate into something interesting. This feeling, which came to him naturally whenever he experienced power, especially rather formal power, over another person, had now been generated by his questioning of McGrath. And his faintly excited sense of having power over McGrath put him in mind of another person over whom he had power, and that was Jessica.

Ducane was ruefully aware that his remorse about his behaviour to Jessica was at least partly compounded of distress at cutting, as Jessica's rather muddled lover, a figure which was indubitably not that of the good man. In fact Ducane had long ago made up his mind that he was a man who simply must not have love affairs, and the adventure with Jessica was really, as he now forced himself sternly to see, a clear case of seeing and approving the better and doing the worse. However, as he also believed, the only point of severity with the past is improvement of the future. Given all this muddle, what was the right thing to do now? Could he, involved as he was in this mess of his own creating, be or even intelligibly attempt to be, the just judge where poor Jess was concerned? How could he sufficiently separate himself from it, how could he judge the mistake when he was the mistake? Ducane's thoughts were further confused here by the familiar accusing voice which informed him that he was only so anxious now to simplify his life in order to have a clear conscience, or more grossly a clear field, for his highly significant commitment to tor it might be, to breaK absolutely Wltn Jessica to see her no more? Poor Jessica, he thought, oh God, poor Jessica.

'I say, may I come in for a moment?'

Ducane's thoughts were interrupted by the voice of Richard Bira

'Come in, come in,' said Ducane pleasantly, checking with a quick physical twitch the instant hostility which had gripped his whole body at the appearance of Bira

Bira

His shapeless-looking mouth was twisted and rather mobile.

He had a high-pitched do

'Droysen told me about McGrath,' said Bira

Ducane did not see why he should not discuss the matter with Bira

'Oh. What did you get out of him?'

'He says he did the shopping for Radeechy's magical goingson.

He says the magic involved naked girls. That, with a few trimmings, is supposed to be what he spilled to the press.'