The First Cut

“Don’t worry about it, Kirsten. Just take it slowly. You can’t remember anything at all about the person who attacked you, no matter how insignificant it might seem?”

“No. Only the hand.”

“What was the hand like? Was it big or small?”

“I…I…it’s hard to say. It covered my nose and mouth…It was strong. And rough.”

“Rough? In what way?”

“Like someone who’s done a lot of hard work, I suppose. You know, lifting things. I don’t know. I’ve never felt a hand that rough before. We had a gardener once, and his hands looked like this one felt. I never touched them, but they looked rough and callused from doing manual work.”

“This gardener,” Elswick said, “what’s his name?”

“It was a long time ago. I was just a little girl.”

“Do you remember his name, Kirsten?”

“I think it was Walberton. My daddy called him Mal. Short for Malcolm, I suppose. But I don’t see why-”

“At this point, Kirsten, we know nothing. We need everything we can get. Everything. No matter how absurd it seems. Is the gardener still around?”

“No, not anymore. Daddy knows. He’ll tell you.”

“All right. Is there anything else?”

“I don’t think so. I can’t remember what happened after the hand grabbed me. How long have I been here?”

“Ten days. That’s why we have to act as quickly as we can. The more time goes by, the harder it is to pick up a trail. Can you think of anyone who might have wanted to harm you? Any enemies? An angry boyfriend, perhaps?”

Ten days! It was hard to believe. What had she been doing here for ten days? Just sleeping and dreaming? She shook her head. “No, there’s only Galen. There’s no one who’d do something like this. I don’t understand it. I never did any harm to anyone in my life.” Tears began to trickle from the corners of her eyes into the fine hair above her ears. “I’m tired. I hurt.” She felt herself fading again and didn’t want to stop.

“That’s all right,” Elswick said. “You’ve been very helpful. We’ll go now and let you get some rest.” He stood up and patted her arm, then nodded to Sergeant Haywood that it was time to go. “I’ll come back and see you again soon, Kirsten, when you’re feeling better. Your mother and father are still here, waiting outside. Do you want to see them?”

“Later,” Kirsten said. “Wait. Where’s Galen? Have you seen Galen?”

“Your boyfriend? Yes,” Elswick said. “He was here. He said he’d come back. He left those flowers.” He pointed to a vase of red roses.

When Elswick and Haywood left, the nurse came over to straighten the bed. Just as the door was closing, Kirsten could hear Elswick saying, “Better keep a man here twenty-four hours a day…Might come back to finish what he started.”

Before the nurse could move away, Kirsten grabbed her wrist.

“What’s happened to me?” she whispered. “My skin feels tight and twisted. Something’s wrong.”

The nurse smiled. “That’ll be the stitches, dearie. They do pull a bit sometimes.” She ruffled the pillow and hurried out.

Stitches! Kirsten had had stitches before when she fell off her bicycle and cut her arm on some broken glass. It was true, they did pull. But those stitches had been put in her arm; she had felt only very minor, localized pain. If stitches were the cause of her discomfort this time, then why did her whole body feel as if it had been sewn tightly and ineptly around its frame?

She could have a look, of course. Ease down the covers and open her nightdress. Surely nothing could be simpler. But the effort was too much for her. She could manage the movements all right, but what really stopped her was fear: fear of what she might find. Instead, she welcomed oblivion.

11 Martha

There were no names on the gravestones. Martha stood in the cliff-top cemetery by St. Mary’s and stared in horror. Most of the stones were blackened around their edges, and where the chiseled details should have been, there was just pitted sandstone. On some of them, she could see faint traces of lettering, but many were completely blank. It must be the salt wind, she thought, come from the sea and stolen their names away. It made her feel suddenly and inexplicably sad. She looked down at the ruffled blue water and the thin line of foam as waves broke along the beach. It didn’t seem fair. The dead should be remembered, as she remembered them. Shivering despite the heat, she wandered over to the church itself.

It was an impressive place inside. She skipped the taped lecture and, instead, picked up a printed guide and wandered around. At the front stood a huge, three-tier pulpit, and below it stretched a honeycomb of rectangular box pews said to resemble the “ ’tween-decks” of a wooden battleship. Some of the boxes had engraved brass nameplates screwed to their doors, marking them out as reserved for notable local families. Most of these were at the back, where the minister would have a hard time seeing for all the fluted pillars in the way. The rich could sleep with impunity through his sermons. But at the front, right under his eyes, some boxes were marked FREE, and others, FOR STRANGERS ONLY.

That’s me, Martha thought, opening the catch on one and stepping inside: a stranger only.

When the latch clicked behind her, the small enclosure gave her an odd sense of isolation and sanctuary within the busy church. All around her, tourists walked and cameras flashed, but the box seemed to muffle and distance the outside world. A fanciful idea, to be sure, but it was what she felt. She ran her finger along the worn green baize that lined the sides of the box and the pew bench itself. There was even a red carpet, and patterned cushions to kneel on. Martha’s knees cracked as she knelt. Now she was even further away from the world outside. It would make a good place to hide, if things should ever come to that, she thought. Nobody would be able to find her in a box pew marked FOR STRANGERS ONLY. It was just like being invisible. She smiled and let herself out.

Through the car park by the abbey ruin was a footpath, part of the Cleveland Way. According to Martha’s map, it would take her all the way from East Cliff to Robin Hood’s Bay. For the moment, she decided to explore just a short stretch of it. As she walked, she kept her eyes open for Keith McLaren, just as she had done while touring the cemetery and church. She already had a good idea of the story she would tell him that evening, and if he did happen to see her walking around St. Mary’s and the cliff top, then her lies would gain even more credibility. She didn’t want to run into him by accident, though.

A narrow boardwalk ran right along the edge of the high cliffs. In places, some of the cross-boards were missing, and erosion had eaten away the land right up to the path itself. There was a fence between the walk and the sheer drop, but even that was down here and there, and signs warned people to tread carefully and to walk in single file. It was dizzying to look down on the sea swirling around the sharp rocks way below.

When she got to Saltwick Nab, a long knobbly finger of rock jutting out into the sea, Martha noticed ramshackle wooden stairs and a path leading down. Slowly, she made her way to the pinkish red rock. It started near the base of the cliff as a big hump, then dropped so that it was hardly visible above the water for a short distance, and finally rose to another knob-rather like a submerged camel with a long way between humps, she thought-further out to sea. There was nobody else around, so Martha sat down on the sparse grass for a rest. In the distance, between the humps, a white tanker was slowly making its way across the horizon. Waves caught the low section of the Nab sideways on and spray cascaded over it in a shower of white.

Martha lit her second cigarette of the day. It tasted different out in the fresh, salt air. She crossed her legs and contemplated the rhythms of the sea as it swelled and slapped against the rock. Soon, she could see the waves coming and predict how hard they would break.