Myth-Gotten Gains

"I'm with him," I said. "I don't invite disaster without a reason."

"Then why did Kelsa say they would be reunited?" Tanda asked, reasonably. "I could hear everything hanging upside down from the window-frame. A green hand—that could be either you or me."

"Or Barrik," Calypsa said, faintly. "He is green, too."

"There," Tananda said, beaming. "So, shouldn't we find out more from Kelsa what she meant?"

"She will not explain properly," Ersatz said. "She has never been able to keep to a narrative."

"We'll get it out of her," I said. I smacked the table with a palm. "Put 'er there."

Very reluctantly, Calypsa unfolded the cloth that contained the crystal ball. The second the folds fell away, we could hear what had probably been an uninterrupted stream-of-conscious-ness, if you could call that babble consciousness.

".. .this has all been very exciting, you know. I haven't been carried off in many years! Well, not since I was staying with a Rhinoid fortune teller, and her neighbors stampeded, taking the entire tent with them on the tips of their horns as they thundered across the plains. What a ride that was! I haven't been so bobbled in..." The turbaned head turned around in a circle, and the eyes behind the diamante glasses blinked at all of us. "There you are! My goodness, I wondered why no one answered me. It was dark in there!"

"And she's a seer?" I asked, with a groan.

"She is clueless regarding her own circumstances," Ersatz said, resignedly. "It was ever thus."

"Hi, er, Kelsa," Tananda said, tapping the crystal ball to get her attention. The head turned to look at her. Kelsa beamed.

"Oh, yes, you're the one who stole me! Very deft, you know, very deft. Why, I would think that you're the smoothest thief ever to remove me in...oh, six centuries!"

"Thanks," Tananda said. "Look, do you know why I took you?"

The eyes blinked. "Why, of course I do, dear. You want to reunite the Golden Hoard!"

"Can you tell us why you think it might be a bad idea?"

"It depends, dear. What do you consider a bad idea?" Kelsa asked. "Explosions? War? Fire? Ca

Tananda blinked a couple of times. "Yes, those would qualify in my book as bad ideas."

"Of course you do! I can tell just by looking into your soul." Kelsa nodded knowingly.

"Tell us why it's going to happen, then."

"Well, because it is! I told you all before."

"No, it is not, Kelsa," Ersatz said. "Have you no memory? Don't you recall the last time we were all together? What a terrible time that was?"

The large eyes clouded for a moment, then looked alarmed. "It wasn't that bad, dear. Not really."

"Indeed it was, Kelsa," the sword insisted. "I will not cooperate with this. Neither will my friend Aahz."

"Wait!" Calypsa pleaded, leaning toward me. "Is there nothing that you would take to let me have this sword and complete my quest, Aahz? Do you have no heart's desire that I can fulfill?"

"Nothing." I crossed my arms firmly. "One hundred gold pieces, and I'm out of here. That's all I want."

"Oh, that's easy," Kelsa said, interrupting my protest. Her eyes had gone all unfocused again. "He wants his magikal powers restored."

"No!" I bellowed. "Not a single thing! Not a...what?"

"His powers are gone," Kelsa went on telling Calypsa, as if I hadn't spoken. "He's been without them a while now, though he's done well enough by his cu

"Can it be undone?" Calypsa asked.

"Oh, of course!" Kelsa said. "Why..."

I leaned forward, interested in spite of myself.

"No!" Ersatz exclaimed. "We seek only to locate Chin-Hwag. She can help me to pay my debt. Then we will go. Can you tell me where to find her?"

"Now, wait a moment," I said, holding up a hand to forestall him. "It couldn't hurt to ask the lady. What would it take to get my powers back?"

"Well," Kelsa said, turning her Pervect-face to me. "It might be that the Cup can help. Or perhaps the Ring. The

Book would have all that information at his fingertips, so to speak, since all he has is pages. He's full of useful spells. He is, after all, the Ultimate Grimoire."

"Really?" I asked. The possibility of having my powers restored again had never occurred to me. I had been so relieved to be able to wander the dimensions freely with the help of the D-hopper that my imagination hadn't taken me any further—not yet, anyhow. That imagination was operating at full throttle now. I could be a full magician again? Never again to be taken advantage of by some two-bit huckster who had picked up half a spell from the back of a box of Witch Crunchies cereal? Not to set off magikal boobytraps because I couldn't feel the force lines leading into it from sky or earth? "How do I find them? What do I need to do to get my powers back?"

I ignored the cat-ate-canary grin on Tanda's face as she sat back in the chair and swung her boots up on the table top. I was just gathering facts, that was all.

Kelsa squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated. "Hmm. The possibilities are most intriguing. Plenty of scope. You need scope."

"Keep the personal remarks to yourself," I growled. "Just read me the small print, willya?"

"Just a moment, Aahz," Ersatz said, the sharp eyes showing panic. "You ca

"Just considering it," I said, casually. "It doesn't do any harm to hear what she's got to say, does it?"

"No...I...of course it does! Harden your resolve, friend!"

My resolve was already working on a list of people who had interfered with my life over the past few years while I had been powerless. It was compiling a compendium of ways both subtle and nasty for getting even with them, all the while keeping the co

"Aahz!"

"What?" I snarled, coming out of a blissful daydream of the whole Merchants Association of the Bazaar offering me a percentage of their profits to avoid having me make information about their business dealings public—-all legal and above-board, though underhanded. I liked the mental picture of all of them, hands trembling, handing over bags of gold so big they needed wheels to move. It'd take a while, though to get together enough dirt to make all the Association cave at once, but as soon as I had my magik back...

Ersatz's keen eyes fixed upon mine. "Aahz, listen to me. I have told you of the danger. I, who have fought in hundreds of thousands of battles, have no fear of ordinary war, but I tell you that what these women propose is dangerous beyond recall!"

"Uh-huh," I said, absently. "So, Kelsa, baby, what have you got?"

"Well, Aahz—I can call you Aahz, can't I?" She blinked at me coyly.

"If you get on with it!"

"The path to regaining your powers is fraught with peril. No sure way exists to restoration without redemption. Friendship stands beside you but also in your way. Do not destroy that which is, to gain that which may not yet be."

I wasn't starting to lose patience with her circumlocutions, I was in the next county already. "Get to the point!"

She tilted her head quizzically. "But, that is the point, dear Aahz. All of this is important."

"I'm listening. Which one of the Hoard can restore my powers?"

"Well, I am not yet sure," Kelsa said. "This is what I see at the moment. Look deep!"

I leaned forward and gazed into the crystal ball. The face under the turban vanished. In its place was a dimly lit room with stone walls. No clue there' I'd been in houses, castles, museums and dungeons with the same decor. I saw