Myth-Gotten Gains

Barrik's beady eyes went wide with terror.

"Noooo!" he whimpered. He whisked the wand over his own head.

BAMF!!!

One second later, there was no one in the middle of the circle. Nothing remained but the impressions of his feet in the hardened yellow glue. Calypsa realized she was confronting open air. She sagged. I put out an arm to support her, but she waved me away. Her grandfather came over to embrace her.

"You do the family of Calypso great honor," he told her. "Thank you, child. Thank you."

"Oh, grandfather!" she said. The two of them embraced.

"Oh, cut it out," I said. "You people can't really be like this, day after day. It'd be like living in a soap opera."

"Oh, Aahz," Tananda said, punching me hard in the arm. "You just can't stand it when someone's happy."

"Now, do you see how well I did that?" Asti said. "My glue is proof against even your noise, Buirnie."

"But I am holding thousands of Diles in thrall!" the Fife protested. "They must dance to my music!"

"It is interfering with my ability to direct a clean battle," Ersatz said, sternly. "What if one unwittingly pranced into the

midst when Calypsa was directing a strike? I do not attack noncombatants!"

"Oh, I suppose you would let them live just because they tell you they were only following orders?" Bozebos said, offensively.

The ground started to shake.

"Knock it off or I'll have to separate you!" I bellowed. "It's over. You won."

"We did?" Kelsa asked. "Oh, yes. We did. Of course we did!"

"The archives," Payge said, with a gentle noise like a throat clearing, "will say that Calypsa won. We were but tools to aid in the victory. Adjuncts."

"Oh, well," Buirnie said. The kazoo music died away at last. I wiggled a finger in my ear in relief. "At least I'll get royalties on the dance music I wrote!"

"He's gone!" one of the guards said. "His Enchantedness is gone!"

"Oh, yes," Bozebos said, looking around at the sound of the voice. His eyes fixed on the Diles huddled around the big room. "Them."

A thin rope of power looped out from the Ring and penetrated right through the walls of the audience chamber. After a few moments, the loop started to contract. With it came the entire contingent of the black castle, Diles in armor, in uniform, in livery, in cook's whites, in chambermaid costumes, all looking panicked as the blue thread gathered them in.

"We should slay them all," Ersatz said.

"Mercy," squeaked a Dile henchman, falling to his knobbly knees.

"Mercy!"

"You must not kill them," Calypsa said. She made a grand, sweeping gesture. "Send them home. Send them away from our fair dimension, back to whatever dread place that spawned them."

"It's not really so bad," one henchman muttered.

"Did she give you permission to speak?" I bellowed.

"No, sir," he said, gulping.

"That is a fair solution," Ersatz said.

"And then," Calypso said, looking around the grand room, "the Walts will take possession of this fine castle. It will make a grand dance hall. So many nice floors!"

Chapter 25

SINCE BARRIK WAS no longer maintaining the spells, the castle already seemed less oppressive. Suddenly, I could hear birds singing. Sun shone in the courtyard. The Diles cast a last wistful look at the black castle before they were banished by a spell from Payge.

With the Golden Hoard still bickering over whom was going to get what mention in the history books, I had Tananda airlift us over the juddering ground to the castle gates. The prisoners I had freed were already among them. Calypsa's mother and father were at the forefront of the crowd, their hands clasped with worry. When they saw their daughter and their father, they started swaying and raising their hands in a celebratory dance. I just shook my head. Pervects would never be so undignified.

We sailed out of the building and right over the moat. Tanda set us down in the midst of the townsfolk.

"It is a miracle!" Calypsa's mother said, embracing her daughter and her father at once. "Come, we will feast and dance! And sing and dance! And drink and..."

"Dance," I finished. "I get it."

"You will be our honored guests," Calypso said. "You will sit at my own right hand and enjoy the hospitality of the Walts!"

"Thanks, pal, but no thanks," I said.

"I do not know how I can ever thank you enough," Calypsa said, embracing me and Tananda.

"Just part of the job," I said. "Look, kid, I don't think I'm going to stick around for the celebration."

"But why not?" the girl asked. "It will be a great event."

I shook my head. "I'm done with what I promised. Now I'd just like to go back to where I left off on my vacation. I hope you and Ersatz live happily ever after."

"You are still cross that you gave up your reward," Asti said. "Don't be. It was noble. I will always remember how unselfish you were."

I winced. "Don't you let THAT get around."

"Oh, come on, Aahz," Tananda said. "Let's party. I wouldn't mind a chance to let my hair down after all that."

The Walts were nearly as good as the Bonhomies at throwing a shindig. Wine and hooch flowed liberally. The food was spicy, and there was enough even to satisfy my long-thwarted appetite. Asti added her own brew to the punch bowl, and everyone got pretty silly. The dancing went on and on. And on. And on. The Walts really knew how to pound the floor. I understood why they were famous for their native art form.

Calypso got up in front of the crowd and did his own interpretation of his capture, imprisonment and rescue. In spite of myself I got interested in his performance. Calypsa had a right to be proud of him. He was every bit as good as she claimed he was. The guy elevated dance to a level I had never known it could have. Still, the kid was no slouch herself. I was begi

Nah.

After the fourth or fifth gallon of booze, I let go of my snit. After all, I was part of history. The Walts were thrilled to be in the presence of the Golden Hoard, who were admired and passed around the entire village. The praise and attention kept them from getting into any more arguments, but I knew the next one couldn't be far away. If they really got going, it could spell catastrophe, and the Walts had just finished with the last major disaster. Tananda warned me from time to time when she felt tremors in the lines of force so I could defuse minor spats. Barrik had chosen one heck of a location for his castle, in the nexus of so much magikal energy. I felt like I was sitting on top of a volcano.

About three o'clock in the morning of the second or third day of the party (I had lost track of time), Calypsa, dressed in her travel clothes, brought Ersatz to where Tananda and I were sitting, at a table on the edge of the town square. Two or three couples were swaying to the tune of a melancholy guitarist.

"Hey, there," I said. I gestured to a spare stool. "Take a load off."

"Aahz, we must go now," Ersatz said.

"Go?" I asked, blankly. "Go where?"

"The Hoard ca

"Very soon," the Crystal Ball said, from her bag, which was slung over Calypsa's shoulder.

That sobered me up in a flash. I got to my feet. "What do we have to do?"

"Bring all of us to one place," Ersatz said. "One in which it will be safe to let the energy build. Nature will take care of the dispersal."

It took some doing to find where all the treasures had gotten to in the course of a three day party. I found Payge telling stories to a group of solemn old men in the tavern. He had a coffee ring on one of his pages, but he seemed happy. He wasn't surprised when I picked him up.