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Chapter Seventeen
We waited out the storm for several more days, the snow blowing fiercely. Wicked checked our food stores, his brow furrowing in worry. “If we can’t get to the village soon, we’ll have to start rationing,” he said. He walked to the window and peered outside. “This can’t last much longer.”
“Hmm, mmm,” I murmured from the bed, not really caring. We’d spent almost every waking moment of the past days reveling in the taste and touch and smells of each other. Wicked had me in every way I could think of and some I’d had no idea were possible. I was an entirely new woman, my muscles jelly and my legs liquid.
He looked at me with fondness, a small smile on his face. “How are you feeling, Princess?”
“Lonely,” I said, pulling up the covers and gesturing him over. He gri
It took another day before the wind finally died down. Wicked went outside immediately and came back to report the worst of the storm was over. “I’m going to shovel the pass so we can get you home. I’ll be back in a few hours.” He didn’t wait for me to respond as he slammed the door behind him without another glance.
I stared at the door, my heart thumping in my chest. Was he still so eager to get rid of me? I tried not to let it bother me. I didn’t belong here. I was supposed to go home and live the life that had been pla
As promised, he returned a few hours later, his cheeks red from the cold and exertion of digging out the snow.
“It wasn’t as high as I expected it to be,” he said. “We can go today. Get dressed. I’ll carry your things.”
He started picking up my scattered clothing and stuffing them into the bag he’d retrieved for me all those weeks ago, not looking my way. Slowly, I followed suit as he traipsed about the room with purpose. He couldn’t seem to move fast enough as he haphazardly stuffed everything in and then sca
I sat on the edge of the bed, feeling small and forgotten and used. His expression was dark and furious.
“Wicked,” I said. “I could stay and—”
“No,” he cut me off, his eyes flashing. “You can’t stay here any longer. I should never have brought you out here. This was all a mistake.”
“But what about...this?” I gestured between us to encompass all that we’d shared the past few days. He’d made me feel beautiful and wanted and cherished. He’d told me I was brave and clever and that I reminded him of what it felt like to be alive. Had it all been a lie?
“We were just passing the time, Rowan. It was nice, but it’s time for you to go.” Those words punched a raw gaping hole right through my chest, my stomach clenching.
“It was nice?” I asked, hearing the lock on yet another future I’d imagined clicking shut. “Nice?”
“Yes,” he replied, his mask of indifference held in place.
“You said you’d never had it so good,” I whispered. “You told me it was amazing.” Rifts formed in my heart, the cracks spreading out as his expression remained stoic.
“It’s time to go,” was all he said as he headed for the door, grabbed my cloak and held it out to me. “You belong with your family. Not out here with the monsters.”
I took the cloak and wrapped it over my shoulders, hating this. Hating that I’d let him nourish me like a parched desert plain and now, with one fell swoop, he’d swept a hand and washed it all away. I wasn’t entirely sure what to name this feeling. All I knew was his cold indifference threatened to dissolve me into nothing.
Once I was dressed, we headed outside.
The world was covered in a blanket of sparkling white; the snow crunching beneath our feet as we headed for the pass and the doorway back to a life I thought I’d lost. One I was no longer sure I wanted.
We approached the narrow opening, the sky overhead grey and cloudless. The air was cold and damp, and I shivered the entire way, partly from the chill and partly from the pieces of my spirit crumbling away.
Wicked walked ahead of me, his steps full of purpose. We didn’t speak and while we drew closer to the castle, my stomach tied into knots formed from threads pulling in a thousand directions. I wanted to see Margaret and my parents, and even Ellis. But this forest and its secrets had filtered into my veins and rooted me to the earth.
When we arrived at the gates of my home, there was a shout as the guards registered my presence. Ellis flew out of the castle, followed closely by Margaret and my mother and father.
“Rowan!” He wrapped his strong arms around me and swung me around. Placing me back on the ground, his hands went to my face as he peered at me. “Are you okay?” I nodded as my family enveloped me from every side, shielding me in the cocoon of their love.
“We’ve been searching for you for weeks,” my father said. “There was no trace of you after that beast came back.” He spat the words out like they were bitter orange peels.
“I haven’t found a way to break the decree,” Ellis said. “I’ve had the overseers working around the clock, but it’s ironclad. I’m so sorry, Rowan.”
“It’s okay,” I said quietly, my heart bearing the crushing weight of all my sorrows. “There’s no need. He let me go.”
“He did?” my mother asked, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Oh, thank the gods. You’re home, and you can get married and Rowan, I’m so happy you’re home.” She wrapped me in a fierce embrace, as everyone collectively mistook the reason for my tears.
I pulled away to say goodbye to Wicked, but when I turned around, he was already gone.