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She smiled in my direction. “Another few hours or so.”
“And you live alone, right? I’m not...going to be a pain in the ass?”
She chuckled. “You’re not a pain in the ass, regardless if I had roommates or not.”
“Isn’t it lonely living by yourself?” Images of endless winters in the valley came and went. The ache in my heart was all too recent not to sympathize with someone who also lived alone, even if our circumstances were different. Vague memories of her telling me about her living situation came and went. We’d had a similar conversation back in the valley, I was sure of it.
Stupid concussion.
“It had its moments, yes.” She switched lanes and sped past a slow car. “That’s why I work a lot. I latch onto new climbs the moment they appear. I tell myself it’s because I’m cashing into my cha
My head pounded with all the new words she’d used. Words that I knew but not in the context she’d used them. “Cashing into your cha
She licked her lips, sunlight catching her blond hair. “Yes, remember? I said I film my climbs for work?”
“I remember.” I squeezed my nape, thinking about her brother on that video recorder, not really keen on revealing just how much I didn’t know when she seemed so fucking capable in this busy world.
I scowled. But I wanted to know. I wanted to know everything there was to know about her, and if that meant I had to sound like the uneducated heathen I was, then...so be it.
Tensing, I asked the one question that’d been hounding me ever since a driver dropped off the keys to a brand-new fancy rental at the hospital. He’d mentioned that they didn’t usually drop off to clients but because she tipped so highly, they were happy to oblige.
The way he’d treated her made it seem as if he was both envious and impressed, presenting the keys as if she was higher up the food chain than him.
My skin had crawled, and I’d wanted to ask the second Gem had led me from the hospital and hopped into the leather-infused car, but I’d swallowed my questions down.
I didn’t know how to word such things, but I got the distinct impression she was someone. She had power, just like Storymaker had power.
Frankly, it made me nervous.
“Kas...you know you can talk to me, right?” Gem squeezed the steering wheel. “I know you’re probably still digesting everything that’s happened so far, and I don’t ever want to pry about your appointment with the specialist or make you feel like you have to tell me everything, but...we’re together. People who are together don’t have to hide.”
I swallowed hard. “Fine.”
“Okay then.”
“I’m just go
“Okay, great.” She braced herself. “If you have questions, fire away.”
She might regret that invitation, but I sat taller in my seat and said, “You mentioned...back in the valley that you had enough money to pay whatever ransom I put on your head. At the time, money meant nothing to me. I still don’t fully remember the concept but it’s slowly coming back to me.” I gave her a look. “The more I remember, the more I realize...you weren’t lying, were you?”
“Lying?” Her forehead furrowed. “Lying about what?”
“That you have money.”
Her cheeks pinked. “Is it that obvious? I thought I wasn’t that flashy.”
I looked out the window as an expensive-looking car drove past. “I overheard the nurse giving you the final tally for the hospital room. It sounded expensive, but you didn’t even blink. You were able to go and select new clothes with just a tiny plastic card instead of working for an entire season for something of value, and...the way the guy looked at you when he dropped off the car? You have power that only comes from having something other people want.”
She glanced at me, her eyes narrowing. “You say that as if money is dirty.”
“Money is what enabled men like Storymaker to steal our lives and rent us out as if we were nothing more than a T-shirt from a department store.”
She stiffened. “It’s not the money that’s bad, Kas.”
I sniffed.
“But you’re right,” she added. “Money has caused bad people to be able to do terrible things.”
I fell quiet for a while, my head whirling. Back in the valley, I’d been rich enough. I’d had food, shelter, and warmth. I hadn’t needed anything else. I’d never owned a dollar. Never worked for cash. Never been given anything of value for the use of my body and soul.
But out here...I was fucking destitute.
I had no skills, no prospects. When people looked at me, they did so without respect in their eyes like they did for Gem. They watched me with wariness as if I was a wild animal she’d dragged from the woods and dressed in human clothes.
Not far from the truth.
My hands balled on my lap as the real reason for my anger unveiled itself. “Look, I don’t expect you to look after me, Gemma.” My voice turned hard. “I’m not a...a charity case. I don’t expect to live with you for free. I’ll...I can—” I snapped my lips together, trying to decide what I could offer her that was worth just as much as the money she’d already spent on me.
The hospital cost, the food, the clothes, the drive back to her place.
I’d been in her debt the moment she’d found me and made me come alive again. But all of this? All these gifts and care...they just compounded that debt until I had no fucking chance of ever paying it back.
I sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling claustrophobic in the car.
Gemma noticed, her gaze flicking from me to an off-ramp and making a quick detour until we parked outside some garish store with a food joint attached.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I figured a break from driving is in order.” She touched the back of my hand. “You okay?”
My skin sparked from her touch while the whiff of oily food outside made my stomach growl even though my stomach still hadn’t gotten used to such richness.
Gem gave me a soft smile. “You’re hungry.”
I gritted my teeth. “It seems my body is making up for lost time.”
That was another thing I hadn’t gotten used to. Eating in the valley came with strict rules and rations. In summer, I could relax those rules and indulge in the blackberries I’d find by the river and enjoy an extra rabbit on an open fire just because they were plentiful. But come winter, my eating routine normally included once a day while the rest of the hours were spent trying to ignore the constant hunger pangs.
The fact that Gem could conjure food from nowhere and at all times awed and confused me. Nurses would bring extra trays if Gem heard my stomach snarling mid-afternoon. Boxes with glass windows delivered sugar-filled candy or salty fried potatoes all by tapping a plastic card where a big arrow said PAY HERE, and now that we’d left the hospital, I noticed that every few miles, a building promised hearty all-day breakfast, gravy steaks, and cheese-dripping burgers.
Most of those things didn’t even pull a memory out of my head.
All-day breakfasts? What the hell was that?
Whatever it was screamed decadence.
The excess of this world was mindboggling.
The ease in this city’s survival showed me just how hard I’d lived. How desperate I’d been to stay alive one more day even while the other part of me craved just to give in. Out here, in this overpopulated place, humans had no fucking idea what rough was.
They didn’t know the cost of cultivation. The pain of starvation. The very real danger of freezing to death if they didn’t gather enough fuel.
Gem pulled forward again, not letting the silence thicken too long between us. She drove toward the building promising food and slipped down the side under a sign with a big arrow.
“What are you doing?” I asked again.
She stopped beside a black box, and a robotic-sounding voice said, “Please place your order when ready.”
“I’m getting you something to eat.” She grabbed the same plastic card that she’d used to pay for other things and peered at the excessively bright billboard listing all kinds of items. Finally, she spoke out the window. “We’ll have two cheeseburger combos, large with fries, Coke for the drinks, and two apple pies.”
“Please drive up to the window.”
I didn’t look away as she eased the car to another part of the building, swiped her plastic card through some contraption a zit-faced teen gave her, then pulled to yet another window and accepted a big bag of heavenly smelling food along with two large cups with plastic lids and straws.
Once again, I was hit with the excess of this place.
Back in Fables, I’d eaten off plates that’d long since lost their pretty glazing. If I accidentally broke a glass, I was one less richer than before. If I didn’t look after my things, then I would end up with nothing.
But here...everything seemed temporary and non-valued.
Just like we’d been treated.
People of this world treated crockery and food as inconsequentially as my family and I had been treated by guests—something to use when they felt like it and thrown in the trash when they’d finished.
I shuddered, feeling a billow of temper rising.
Gemma noticed my curling hands and shoved the bag of food into them. The weight and heat distracted me from my thoughts as she put the car into gear and drove away from the building. Grease stains already appeared on the paper bag, making me curious.
“Go on then.” She smiled. “Eat something.”
My stomach snarled and mouth watered, but I didn’t open it. Anger still swirled in my gut. Impotence and lack of ability to survive in this new world drowned me. How the fuck was I supposed to show her I cared when I didn’t know how to exist out here? How was I supposed to protect her when she was the one protecting me? How was I supposed to provide for her when I didn’t have a magical plastic card and not a single goddamn dollar to my name?
Crushing the bag in my hands, I growled, “Keep a tally.”
“Excuse me?” She pulled the car into a parking space and shut off the engine. Prying my hands off the bag, she opened it and scooped out a burger, fries, and sipped on a large drink with a straw.
“Whatever you spend on me. I want you to keep track. I’m going to pay you back. Someday. Somehow.”
She frowned as she placed a fry into her mouth. It reminded me of the fries I’d made her when she was still trapped in my basement. The pride I’d felt watching her eat food I’d planted, harvested, and prepared had filled my chest to bursting.
Now it was just hollow because someone else had grown, harvested, and prepared the food she swallowed.
It stripped my worth as a man.
It made me completely fucking worthless, and I had no idea how I would ever pay her back.