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My mind and its open doors full of memories was more crowded than ever. The past mingled with the present, making me sweat and tremble.
“Kas...stop working yourself up.” Gem came toward me, squatting down in front of me with her small, strong hands resting on my knees. “Just focus on me, okay? I know this is a massive adjustment for you and I can’t begin to imagine how overwhelming this all is, but I give you my word, no one, and I mean no one, will hurt you. I give you my absolute vow on that. These men and women...they’re not like the ones you grew up with. These are kind-hearted carers, not abusive rapists, alright?”
My teeth ground together.
A wash of sickness sent acid up my throat.
Her hand landed on my cheek, settling my rabid heartbeat. “Kas, please...trust me. I will keep you safe. You don’t have to be afraid.”
I shuddered and placed my hand over hers, pressing my cheek into her palm. “I’m not afraid.”
“You’re white.”
“I’m afraid of what I might do if they look at you wrong. If they move too fast. If they trigger a memory that I have no control over.”
“I’ll be there.” She turned her head and kissed my wrist. “I’ll stop you from doing something that might get you into trouble.” Her eyes flashed. “And I’ll also stop anyone doing anything that you’re not comfortable with, okay? You just have to trust me.”
I searched her gaze for any lies or uncertainty.
This was her world.
I was a complete stranger here. I might look and speak like the people in this place but thanks to my seclusion, I wasn’t like them. I was different. I was fucked up. I was a menace even when I didn’t want to be.
Gem rose and kissed my lips, distracting me.
A ragged breath escaped me. For the first time since Jareth set the fire, a cloak of calmness descended, and I kissed her back. I let myself sink into her, to forget, just for a second, that I was no longer in my valley and that my entire existence was now in question.
She kissed me slowly, longingly. Her tongue slipped into my mouth, successfully switching my heart rate from manic to wanting.
My shoulders relaxed, my muscles stopped bunching, and I pulled away, resting my forehead on hers. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“We’re together, Kas. Just because we’re no longer just the two of us, we’re still together. That hasn’t changed. That will never change.”
I nodded, breathing her in. “I love you.”
She blushed and pulled away. “And I love you.” Tucking my wild, smoke-laced hair behind my ear, she stood and returned to her chair.
Inhaling heavily, I let myself just chill the fuck out. After such a rush of noise, people, and sensory overload, the peace was just as mentally shattering as the rest of the mayhem of the night.
Time passed in silence as we both waited for whatever came next.
The clock on the wall ticked the seconds, showing twenty minutes passed while we just sat and digested what’d happened.
Eventually, Gemma cleared her throat, coughing a little from the smoke. “Do you need anything? I can see about getting us some food?”
My stomach gurgled at the mention of food but the thought of her leaving me to get it? No chance. I shook my head, coughing like she had, wincing a little at the pain in my lungs. “Stay. Please.”
“Okay.” She reached over and touched my hand. “We can eat later.”
I twisted to face her, catching a whiff of soot and acrid burning. Our skin was covered in it. We needed a shower and some sleep, preferably in that order. “What are we waiting for? Are we being held for something? Are we in trouble?”
Her eyes filled with sympathy. “We’re not in trouble.”
“Even for the fire?”
“That wasn’t our fault.”
“Blame is rarely fair.”
Memories of being punished just for sneezing came and went. A cane across my shoulders. The bite of leather against my ass. I glanced at the bed in the opposite corner of the room where Gem’s backpack had been placed.
How long would they keep us here?
How much longer would I be able to stay awake?
What would happen when I finally gave into exhaustion?
Would I have a nightmare?
Would I hurt Gem in my sleep?
Would I be caught hurting her?
Fuck, she’d be taken away from me.
I’d be locked up in a different type of prison.
I’d be hurt again, trapped again, used again. I—
Ah, fucking hell—
“Hey, Kas...” Gemma leaped from her chair and came to me. Sitting on my lap, she looped her arms around my shoulders and pressed her forehead to my cheek. Just having her in my arms soothed my racing heartbeat and shoved back the blinding white light just daring me to pass out. “Nothing bad is going to happen to you. I promise.”
I wrapped my arms around her, nuzzling into her neck.
She let me hold her for a while, her pulse calming me, her warmth making me drowsy. Blinking back tiredness, I pulled away and kissed her lips. “What is going to happen? Tell me what to expect and I’ll be able to handle it better.”
She licked her lips, giving me a kind smile. “Okay, sure. I can do that.” Threading her fingers through my knotty hair, she murmured, “I’m guessing a doctor will be by shortly. That’s how hospitals work. We have to wait to be seen as many places like these are very busy and understaffed. Once he or she has checked us out—probably listened to our lungs with a stethoscope, maybe arranged for a few X-rays to make sure there isn’t any smoke damage, then we’ll either be kept here for a night of observation or we’ll be able to go home.”
I tensed. “Go home?” I laughed sarcastically. “First, I don’t have a fucking clue how to go home and second, it’s gone. Who knows what’s left standing after Jareth’s party with alcohol and flames.”
She nodded. “I know.” She kept my stare, worry flaring over her face before she said quietly, “When I said home...I meant my home.”
“Oh.” My muscles locked beneath her weight. “Yeah, of course. I knew that...” I cleared my throat. “And, eh...where is that exactly?”
“A few hours’ drive from here.” She straightened in my arms but didn’t try to leave, which I appreciated. “I’ll hire a car. You can stay with me. My place is private, even if it is in suburbia. I have a garden at the back and neighbors that stick to themselves. It’ll just be me and you, just like in the valley. You don’t have to worry about a thing, okay?”
I shivered. “Worry about what?”
Shadows filled her eyes. “I don’t know. Whatever worries normally fill your head.”
“Worries like food gathering and wood collection? How to weatherproof a mansion in time for blizzards?”
She laughed under her breath. “Nothing quite that dramatic. We have supermarkets with unlimited food. My house is kept warm by central air. The only thing you need to worry about is staying calm enough that you don’t pass out and hurt anyone.”
I opened my mouth to admit that I wasn’t so sure that was possible, but she added, “When the doctor comes, you need to tell them about your concussion too.”
“What?” My eyes flared. “No way. They’ll keep me here. They’ll—”
“They’ll what?” A male voice ripped my attention to the doorway. A young man stood in a white overcoat, a screen in his hands with a black pen hovering over it. Nodding at Gem, he stepped into the room. “Hello, you two. I hear you’ve had quite an adventure.”
My urge to protect Gem rose again, fighting against the desire to hit this man before he could grant pain. Gem patted my arm, keeping me inline before answering for both of us. “It’s definitely been a night we won’t forget.”
The man laughed, his blue eyes switching from me to Gemma, his stare calculating and shrewd.
I didn’t like him.
I wanted to strike him.
I wanted to ensure he was more afraid of me than I was of him. To let him know that I might’ve once been a toy for men to use but not anymore. I wouldn’t let anyone fuck me that way again.
My breathing sped up.
Gemma wedged her ass harder on my thigh, bringing me back to her.
I inhaled, doing my best to stay calm as the doctor grabbed a spare chair from the corner of the room, brought it closer to us, and sat down. Resting the screen-notepad thing on his lap, he crossed his legs. “Okay, start from the begi
Gemma fidgeted on my lap, but she still didn’t try to move.
I was grateful for that.
Having her weight on me kept me conscious and present. It made me stay with her instead of spiraling into the mess of memories, worries, and violence inside me.
My nostrils flared as Gemma said, “The begi
I fell a little more in love with her.
“We both might have smoke inhalation, and I have a few bruises from my career as a professional climber.” The ease in which she explained all the injuries I’d given her—willingly and unwillingly—blew my mind.
It made me doubt, just for a second, that she wasn’t still playing a game to win my heart. She seemed a proficient liar. But then her hand reached for mine and her eyes trapped me, and my heart finally took a deep breath.
She was with me.
She was mine.
It didn’t matter that all of this was shit-fucking scary. I’d once been ripped from this world and placed in a forest, and now I’d been dragged back just as brutally.
I belonged here, not in the wilderness.
I could be normal.
It would take a long time for me to be comfortable around people. To willingly talk and not want to give into the murderous rage to hurt before being hurt, but for now, I had Gemma.
She’d protect others from me, so I didn’t do something dangerous.
She would keep me sane.
I let my mind go quiet as her comforting voice told the doctor a story that took part truths, part lies, and made such a convincing tale, I began to believe it myself.
“I’m Gemma Ashford, and this is Kassen Sands.” Her hand squeezed mine. “We met in the national park. He, eh...he was hiking while I was looking for rock formations to climb. We joined up to, um, travel together, but he slipped off a cliff.” Her eyes flickered to mine before going back to the doctor to spin more of her fiction. “We found an abandoned house, and I, eh, treated him from his fall. He had a bad concussion. Still does. I did what I could to help, but that was a good month ago now, and he still blacks out, has occasional hallucinations, and suffers from short-term memory loss.”
The doctor looked up, his head cocked. “So, you were climbing and you...” He looked at me. “You were hiking?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I, eh...like birds.”