Страница 136 из 154
“Me.” I rose again, never taking my eyes off Fang. “He’s growling at me.”
“Okay, well that’s not good.” She tried rolling over again, but I stopped her. “We’ll put him in the living room. He has his own bed. He’ll be fine.” Gem sat up, her breasts bare and eyes blinking back tiredness.
Fang instantly stopped growling. Licking his muzzle, any sign of aggression faded and he lay back down again, looking damn right pleased with himself.
Huh.
He’d threatened me while he’d deemed her at risk, yet he’d stood down the moment he knew she was aware.
Fuck.
I stood staring at that damn dog.
I understood him.
I was him.
A crazy laugh spilled from my lips.
“What are you laughing at?” Gem threw me a scowl. “This isn’t fu
My laughter faded.
I crawled onto the bed and smacked a kiss onto Fang’s head. “Thank you.”
The dog yawned with a whine as if to say “took you long enough, idiot.”
Flopping onto my back, I yanked off my towel and slipped under the covers nude.
Gem’s eyebrows rose. “What...what are you doing?”
“I’m sleeping in here with you. Forever if you’ll have me.”
“But you literally just said—”
“That was before.”
“Before what?”
“Before I understood what Fang was telling me.”
Gem looked between the dog and me, the big bed crowded with all three of us. She sighed, shaking her head. “Forgive me if I sound stupid, my brain has already gone to sleep, but what precisely did the dog say to you?”
“He told me he has my back.”
“He told you that.”
“In not so many words, but yes.” I ruffled Fang’s head as he licked my wrist.
“I’m so lost.” Gem gave up, lying back on her side and hugging her pillow. “Explain it to me in the morning.”
Rolling onto my side, I pushed Fang down the bed a little so I could spoon Gem from behind. The dog fit perfectly by our legs, letting out a little huff as if to say he approved of this position.
“I’ll explain it now, so you know you never have to fear me again.”
“I don’t fear you, Kas.” She snuggled closer, her body feeling so incredibly good in my arms.
“When I sleep, I’m a danger to you. That’s a stark truth that might take years to rectify.”
“So you’re not staying?”
“No, I’m staying. For all the nights, as long as we both shall live.”
She sighed again. “Then I still don’t get it.”
“Some nights, I’ve been so close to coming to you—in my sleep and when I’m awake. I’ve caught myself in a nightmare, slamming back into consciousness right outside your bedroom door. Those are the nights I sleep outside, doing my best to get some space from you, just in case I do something unforgivable.”
“And I’m grateful.” She yawned. “So grateful.”
“Other nights, when it’s almost unbearable out there on the couch by myself, I look for things in your house that could restrain me. I’d be willing to wear a rope, a cuff, a damn chain again if it meant my hands would be kept away from your lovely neck and we could sleep safely side by side.”
Gem twisted in my arms, our faces almost touching. “I never want you restraining yourself, do you hear me? You’re not going to be trapped again, Kas. Even if it means my safety.”
“You’re not listening. Now, I don’t have to be.” I kissed her gently. “Fang is my restraints.”
She pulled away, her eyes searching mine. “Fang?”
“He growled at me because he thought you were asleep and therefore helpless to prevent whatever I was going to do to you. I might have been the one to free him, but he’s chosen to protect you.” I laughed again at the perfection of it. “I told you, Gem, we recognized each other. He knows what I’m capable of because he’s capable of the same thing. He loves and trusts both of us but he’s loyal to you. Loyal...even if it means going against me.”
Her eyes slowly tightened with understanding. “You’re saying...if you woke in a nightmare and tried to hurt me, Fang would hurt you back.”
I nodded. “I know without a shadow of a doubt, if I try to lay a finger on you in violence, his teeth will be at my throat.”
She shivered. “He’s already bitten you once. We don’t need a repeat.”
I kissed her. “I would gladly be his damn chew toy if it gave me peace of mind while sleeping beside you.” I laughed with absolute freedom, with joy at this incredible gift. “I will continue to have nightmares. That’s a part of my healing that I doubt I’ll be able to rush or ignore. I know some of those will wake me with rage and total unawareness of my surroundings. It could be years before I’m stable enough to sleep beside you—just like that damn book said. But...” I hugged her so fucking hard. “I don’t have to wait years to enjoy this. To be in your bed. To make love to you and go to sleep with you tucked in my arms. We can have this now...all because we have an alarm system. A dog that will bark if I wake in a nightmare. A creature who will happily bite me if I come anywhere near you in anything but kindness and love.”
Gem studied me before arching her head to look at Fang.
His head popped up, his tongue lolling out as if totally agreeing with me. He whined once and wagged his tail before placing his chin back on his paws.
“See?” I gri
“You’re asking if I’m okay with you getting bitten if you so much as wriggle too close to me in your sleep?”
“I think he’ll give me some leniency, but yes, that’s what I’m asking.”
“And you’ll happily get bitten instead of sleeping safely on the couch? We can buy you another bed, Kas. I’ve been thinking of redecorating one of the spare rooms back into a guest—”
“Don’t use that word.” I shivered, panic and anger flowing through me involuntarily.
Fang instantly leaped to his feet, sensing my change, most likely smelling the ripeness of fresh adrenaline and animosity.
He was like my own personal alert beacon—sensing my mood before even I did.
Voices tried to whisper through my thoughts but Fang’s intensity helped block them, keeping me present, fading my sudden panic.
I reached out and ruffled his head. “You’re a good boy. The best. So in-tune. So fucking perfect.”
He yipped, licked me, then collapsed back into a fur puddle again.
Without even knowing it, he’d just passed the ultimate test.
I didn’t even have to be asleep for him to protect Gem against me. He’d tapped into my psyche. He understood the baseline of my happiness and recognized the flush of panic through whatever sixth sense dogs possessed.
For the first time since meeting Gemma, I fully relaxed.
I let my mind go.
Truly, blissfully go.
I stopped censoring my thoughts and pre-empting whispers and memories.
I let myself be fully with her, every piece of me—the broken and the mended.
Tiredness slammed into me.
A lifetime of exhaustion—decades worth of living on the edge, twitching with wariness, and bracing against future pain—finally coming to terms that it was finally safe to rest.
Okay to surrender.
I was ready to let life happen instead of fighting it.
My body had been free for years.
But now...now my mind was too.
And it was all thanks to a dog who saw me.
A dog who would kill me if I ever laid a cruel finger on the girl I loved with all my glued-together, patched-up heart.
Turning Gemma until she faced away from me, I scooped her around the waist, pulled her into my body, and together...we fell into so much more than sleep.
We fell into our future.
A future we’d fought for, earned, and absolutely treasured.
A future of us.