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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“YOU SURE?” Gemma asked softly, her hand poised by my cheek, the pink feminine razor in her fingers.
I nodded, glancing at myself sideways in the mirror.
She’d tidied up the hack job of my hair after we’d had sex, taken a shower, and wrapped ourselves up with towels.
Dusk was falling outside, groceries were waiting to be put away, and Gemma had pla
But none of that mattered.
She didn’t make me feel like I was an inconvenience or taking precious time from other activities. She was one hundred percent with me, her attention locked on me, her heart forever joined to mine.
Fuck, I’m lucky.
Ru
It wasn’t the preppy style of some of the guys on the TV, but...it kind of suited me.
It was unruly but not wild.
Messy like my mind but tamer than my previous existence.
“Honestly, Kas, I don’t think I’m going to allow you out in public. You’re content living in my house, right? You don’t have to go outside and mingle. No one else has to see you but me.”
I looked away from my reflection and caught her stare. Mirth danced over her face, but something sharp glowed in her hazel gaze.
“Am I that ugly?” I still had my beard—that was the next thing to go—but I thought my haircut was an improvement.
God, what if she doesn’t want me anymore—
“You were ridiculously handsome before. But now...” She whistled under her breath. “Honestly, I’m not a jealous person, but I’m jealous before we’ve even gone to the gala. I know the moment the public see you...” She fa
Steal me?
I laughed under my breath even as sick terror filled me. Self-preservation borne from being stolen and used rejected what she said, filling me with fear that if strangers found me attractive, then they’d touch me, they’d want me, they’d take me against my wishes.
No one was stealing me again.
Fucking no one.
My hands curled into fists, and the telltale hot flush of temper and panic made my nostrils flare.
Gem noticed, and all humor slipped from her face. “Ah, Kas. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean...and after you just told me that you grew your hair in the hopes you wouldn’t be sexually attractive.” She walked into my spread legs, hugging my head to her chest. “It was a tasteless joke. I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot.”
I sat on the kitchen barstool that she’d dragged into the bathroom and hugged her back, scolding my heart for racing, wishing I wasn’t still so fucked up at the thought of complete strangers liking what they saw.
“Sorry,” I mumbled into her breasts, slipping my tongue out and tasting her shower-fresh skin. The towel barely covered her nipples.
She shivered and pulled away, cupping my beard-covered cheeks. “I’m going to make you another promise, okay?”
My eyebrows rose, but I nodded, curiosity filling me, shoving away the stupid panic attack. “Okay...”
“I’m going to allow myself to get jealous. I’m not going to tell you that women aren’t going to find you drop-dead gorgeous. Gay men too will fall to their knees if you arrive at the gala wearing a tux. You can’t change the fact that you’re blessed with good genes, Kas. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear. And I wish I could tell everyone to give you room, give you space, and not look at you like something they want to lick. But...what I can do is...be possessive.”
I placed my hands on her hips, digging my fingers into her muscular curves. “And how is that going to make me feel better?”
“Well, for one, no one, and I mean no one, will be able to come near you if I don’t allow it. I’m happy to play the crazy jealous girlfriend if it means women won’t try to kiss you hello, and I’ll bat away anyone who tries to take yours in a handshake. I won’t leave your side all night. Believe me, people will be too afraid of my jealous wrath to come too close to you.”
I chuckled, my mind locking onto one word in that entire sentence that was more powerful than all the rest. “My girlfriend, huh?”
She froze. Her eyes went golden and heated. “That’s all you heard from that?”
My fingers dug into her hips. “It’s the only word that matters.”
She lowered her head, brushing her lips over mine. “You do remember that you proposed to me, right? That we bypassed the girlfriend and boyfriend stage.” She reared back, half dramatic, half real concern filling her pretty face. “Please tell me this isn’t like the bath in the valley? That morning, I woke up knowing I’d fallen so damn hard for you, only for you to have no memory of what happened. It was...it was heartbreaking.”
I tugged her into me. “This is not like that morning.” I kissed her. “I remember asking you to marry me—not that I asked, I kind of just told you. I remember every day I’ve spent in your house. I remember everything we’ve talked about, all the meals you’ve bought me, and your tireless crusade to find out what my favorite food is.”
“Have you figured it out yet?”
“What my favorite food is?”
She nodded.
I laughed quietly. “Have we tried everything?”
She shook her head, looping her hands over my shoulders, the razor still clutched in her fingers. “Not even close. We need to travel to find true flavors. We need to fly to Asia and Europe, the Middle East, and Africa. We need to try every culture and cuisine.”
I swallowed hard at the thought of how much that would cost and just how much I’d end up owing her, but I nuzzled into her with utmost gratefulness. “I won’t lie and say that travel seems like an insane dream for me. Books can only do so much for the imagination, and I’ve never gone anywhere as exotic as the locations I’ve read about, but...I’m perfectly content to stay right where we are. As long as I have you.”
“Same.” She kissed me. “And if you’re wondering...my favorite food is vanilla cupcakes.”
I snickered. “I don’t think dessert is a food.”
“Sure it is.” She pulled away. “It’s an entire food group.”
“I think my favorite at the moment would be that pumpkin pasta with that spicy sausage stuff you made last week.”
“Chorizo?”
“Yeah, that was fantastic.”
“Well, you’re in luck. I bought some more at the supermarket. Which is actually still waiting to be put in the fridge so...” She brandished the razor again. “I ask you again, Mr. Sands...are you sure?”
I gri
I looked lopsided now.
With my long hair, a long beard didn’t look out of place. But now I had more hair on my chin than I did on my head, and it had to go. I couldn’t remember what I looked like without the scruff. And I was finally, hopefully, stable enough to find out.
“I’m sure.” I squeezed her hips one last time and sat back on the stool. “I’m all yours.”
“Yes, you are.” She smiled as she squirted some flowery-smelling shaving cream into her palm. “Forever mine, husband-to-be.”
“Forever.” My heart skipped a beat as she smeared the cream onto my cheeks.
“Sorry you’re going to smell like jasmine and orchid. I only have the stuff I use to shave my legs. I didn’t buy you any toiletries ’cause I wasn’t expecting you to de-hair.”
I shrugged. “I’m not bothered. I already smell like you anyway.” I licked my lips. “I take you often enough that my skin has adopted your scent.”
“You can smell that?” Her nose wrinkled as she dragged the razor over my cheek, rinsing the clump of hair into the sink before returning to swipe again.
“Yes.”
“Your senses must be better than mine.”
“They grew stronger the longer I was on my own.” I opened up a little more, sharing pieces of me that I never thought would be interesting to someone else. “I needed better hearing to track di
A little furrow appeared between her eyes as she carefully continued to shave me. Rinsing the blade before removing large areas of my beard, leaving my cheeks feeling cool and bare.
“See, it’s that sort of stuff that people want to hear about, Kas.” She stooped and tipped my chin up, ru
I stiffened as she ran the sharpness over my Adam’s apple. How could I tell her that sharing myself online still scared me? Those comments from a few weeks ago still haunted me. I’d been a piece of meat all my life. I hadn’t been seen as a person but something to be used, abused, and tossed aside. If that was how people watching my videos would see me, I wanted nothing to fucking do with it. They might not be able to touch me but just knowing they wanted me? That they might fantasize about using me?
Fuck.
My heart rate picked up again and my headache returned.
Gemma stopped shaving me, laying her hand on my now naked cheek. “Kas...?”
I exhaled heavily, doing my best to shove away such pathetic thoughts. “I’m okay.”
Her eyes searched mine for a long time before she slowly ducked to kiss me, then resumed shaving me.
We didn’t talk again until the sink was full of floating hair, her razor was blunt, and my face felt ten times lighter.
“Ready to see?” she asked, blocking the mirror to my left as she grabbed a hand towel and rubbed my cheeks and down my throat.
The sensation was soft and scratchy all at once.
My skin tingled.
My cock twitched.
Gritting my teeth, I nodded.
“Remember, you’re all mine, and I will make sure everyone at that gala and all around the world knows it.” Gem backed away, watching me carefully as I rose from the stool and faced the mirror.
Holy shit.
I froze.
Who the hell was that guy?
I didn’t recognize him.
Not a single piece of him.
He looked younger. Calmer. Happier.
Leaning in, I touched my bare cheek, my fingers trembling.