Страница 45 из 60
“I have nothing to say to you.” I let her go. I wasn’t lying that I was more interested in her possessions at this point than her body. I’d already had her body.
And she was right.
Neither of us was in one piece after what we’d done.
And I fucking hated it.
I needed something else to focus on before I lost my ever-loving mind.
My eyes sca
Rope.
Instantly, self-preservation kicked back in. My head still swam. My skull still throbbed. My heart felt strange from being inside her and my mind was confused with the bizarre bond that’d sprung between us.
It all tried to soften me, cajole me, lie to me that whatever this was...it could be a new way of life. I could have this. Whatever this was. A companion. A confidant. Friend.
But it wasn’t real.
What was real was everything knotted inside my head. The scars full of evidence. The house full of screams.
I would never forget.
Never be free to forget—no matter how much I lied to myself.
Which meant I couldn’t let down my guard, or trust, or hope, or allow her to trick me any worse than she already had.
Tossing the keys to the side, I grabbed a length of rope.
Soft teal cord speckled with highlighter pink threads. It glittered as I jerked enough from the coil before spi
For a second, she scowled. She didn’t see my threat, nor believe I was capable of returning to our prior dynamic before we’d broken each other. She treated me as if we were normal—as if our cursed begi
That would never happen.
It can’t.
She wasn’t welcome here, yet she wasn’t permitted to leave.
She was mine to fuck, kill, or betray.
She’s still my enemy.
Her shock gave me enough time to grab her wrists, bind them together, and wrap the rope tight around her.
Her mouth fell open as she jerked back, doing her best to fight me off. “Seriously? You seriously just tied me up after what we just did?”
“Perhaps it’s because of what we just did.”
I’m hurting.
Give me time to figure this shit out.
“Argh! You don’t give up, do you?”
I kept my voice flat and cold. “Not while you’re still breathing, no.”
She sucked in a worried breath. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I rolled out my shoulders. “It means, if you keep pushing me, I’ll keep pushing back.”
“If you let me go, then there’s nothing to push against. We had sex. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
Fuck, yes.
It’s screwed me up and blown me apart and I’m barely fucking functioning.
Gritting my teeth, I checked the tightness of her knots, forcing myself to hiss, “No. It meant nothing.”
Tearing her wrists away from my grasp, she snarled, “You’re unhinged.”
Tell me something I don’t know.
“I don’t particularly care what you think of me.”
“Well, you should. If you got out of your head for just two seconds and let yourself feel, then you wouldn’t be able to do this.”
I laughed blackly. “Emotions are the reason I am the way I am.”
“Emotions you’ve suppressed and not dealt with.”
Our eyes met, fight to fight, anger to anger. “I don’t need psychiatric help from a girl who climbs rocks for a living.”
“Well, you need help from someone.”
“And that someone definitely isn’t you.”
She huffed. “You’ll regret this. If you kill me after what we just did, what we just felt, then you’re not just full of demons, you are one.”
“Who said anything about trying to kill you?” I cocked my head, my breath harsh.
She narrowed her gaze, searching for a trap. Raising her bound wrists, she sneered, “Why tie me up then?”
“To stop you trying to escape.” I pointed at the Jeep and rolled my eyes, wincing against my headache. “That is what you were trying to do, was it not?”
She dug her toes into the mud, rage planting her in place. “I need to go home. I have people who will be worried about me.”
“Not my problem.” Grabbing her wrists again, I tied another knot, just to be safe. I ensured the restraints were tight enough not to wriggle out of but not too tight to cut off circulation.
“I hate you,” she spat as I relinquished her hands.
“That makes two of us.” Turning, I grabbed her keys again and opened the pen knife dangling from the chain. Using the knife, I sliced off the rest of the rope, leaving a small leash to drag her by.
Glancing up, I made the mistake of looking at her face.
Fury didn’t begin to describe her. Disbelief definitely, hate certainly, but something else swam inside that made my heart fist with daggers.
She was hurt.
She’d been stupid enough to believe something had happened between us. Something good. Something that would protect her from her fate.
Then again, I’d known she was stupid from the first moment she’d offered herself to me. This was just further vindication.
Eventually, she’ll learn not to trust me.
Even I learned that lesson.
Her nostrils flared as she tried to get her temper under control, swaying in the rain, naked apart from the colorful rope tight around her wrists. “Why?”
A tiny, three-letter word but one that asked so much.
“Because I have no choice.” Looking down at the keys in my hand, I flinched. They had the power to take her away from me. They could give her back her life and take mine away all in one go.
She can never go back.
She knew too much now.
She could never be trusted.
And...I want to keep her.
I’d lost everything.
Everything I had ever cared about had been snatched from me.
This time will be different.
Her keys had to go. They had to fly far away from here so she could never find them.
She cleared her throat, shifting on the spot as if nervousness siphoned through her. “Don’t...don’t do what I think you’re going to do.”
I looked up.
Her hazel eyes were deep brown to match the darkness around us. No green shone. No light. No sweetness. Once again, she could read me. How that was possible, I didn’t know. But something had alerted her to the fact I hated her keys. I loathed her car. I wanted to shove both off the cliff and watch them burn.
Walking into me, she landed her bound hands on my naked chest. I’d ripped off my shirt halfway through the hunt. It was back on the trail somewhere, wet and abandoned.
“Please, whatever your name is. I beg you. If you’re so concerned that I’ll tell people about you, come with me. Stay locked by my side and censor every word that comes out of my mouth. Just...please let me go home. If you allow me to see my mother and brother, to give them peace of mind that I’m okay...I’ll-I’ll...” She gulped and forced herself onward. “I’ll come back with you. We’ll drive back here together. I’ll come and stay with you for a while. Two lonely people living in one house instead of two.”
I sneered. “You honestly expect me to believe that once you’re back in society you wouldn’t turn on me in a second? That you wouldn’t find some way to have me arrested?”
“You have my word.”
“Your word means nothing.”
Anger fired up her cheeks. “No, your word means nothing. You said I’d survive another day. That you wouldn’t try to kill me.” She glanced at the mud where we’d battled, where body indents scarred the earth, leaving behind a symbol of the sex we’d shared and the misery we’d caused. “That if I did what you asked, I’d live.”
Bending over her, I held her stare and murmured, “I’ll make you a new deal. You were right when you said sex with you felt different. It could’ve been the eleven years of celibacy that made it so fucking intense, or...it could’ve just been you.”
It was definitely you.
She winced as I ran my thumb over her bottom lip. “I won’t lie and say I don’t want more. I fucking loved being inside you. I loved how you fought me back. How you fought for more. How explosive it was between us.”
“You think I’d let you sleep with me again if you continue to hold me captive?”
I shrugged. “It’s not like you’ll have a choice, is it?”
“Fuck you.”
“They’ll be plenty of that, I promise. When we get home, you have my word that you will live. I won’t lay a hand on you in violence unless you deserve it. I won’t try to kill you unless you try to run. You can live.”
Her chest rose and fell with rage. “How very kind of you, you bastard. What a fucking joke! Are you that broken that you can’t be kind to anyone? I’m not just someone you can lock away and screw whenever you have the urge, you know! I have a life. A career. I can’t believe I let you inside—”
“Hush.” I cut off her tirade. “I’m sure, in time, I’ll get used to having a pet around the house. But from now on, you’re pulling your weight. You will help me gather and prepare. You will do what I do to ensure we survive winter together. You will open your damn legs whenever I command. You will get on your knees whenever I’m hard. And, who knows, maybe in a few years, when we’ve come to know everything there is to know about each other and we’ve built up something akin to friendship, our terms of agreement can change.”
“I will never be your friend.”
“You’ve been more friend to me than anyone in over a decade—hating me or not.”
She choked as if that meant something to her. As if that small confession affected her. Her body might be affected but her words were cruel. “You’re insane.”
“Perhaps.” I shrugged. “Or just damaged enough to be immune to whatever charms you’re trying to use against me. How am I supposed to know if sex between us wasn’t a lie? You acted as if you wanted my cock, you moaned as I thrust deep inside you, you kissed me back...but was it real? It could’ve all been an act. You could be lying—”
“I came in your arms, you monster. I’ve never felt anything like that with anyone—”
“Yet you’ve never fought for your life before.” Cupping her cheek with my empty hand, I bent and kissed her softly. “It could’ve just been the adrenaline talking.”
She ripped her face away, hissing, “It wasn’t and you know it! That’s why you’re so afraid of me. Why you don’t want me to go. Admit it. You can’t stomach the thought of saying goodbye!”
I stiffened. “Careful.”