Waiting

When he returned to the crowd, the room was full of noisy music. The tables were all pushed against the walls, and young nurses and officers were dancing together. After being ba

Haiyan and her husband Honggan came up to Lin and congratulated him. They were a middle-aged couple now. Honggan wore civilian clothes and glasses, which made him resemble a ranking official; Haiyan was moonfaced and a little stout, wearing a saffron neckerchief. She beckoned to their son. "Come here, Taotao, and meet Uncle Kong."

"No, I don't want to," whined the eight-year-old boy. He skipped away with a wooden carbine in his arms and disappeared among his pals. His parents and Lin all laughed.

"You and Ma

"She didn't feel well and went back home. She has a cold."

Honggan patted Lin on the shoulder and said, "My friend, I'm very happy to be here. Listen, from now on if you need any help, just let me know." His left hand was twirling an empty glass.

Lin looked at his flat face, trying to make sense of his words. He was amazed to see that Honggan had turned into a happy, healthy man and had shed all traces of his peasant stock. His face was quite smooth; only two small pinkish boils on his forehead reminded Lin that the face used to be carbuncular.

"Don't be polite, Lin," Haiyan said. "He has power and pull now. His company owns twelve trucks."

"Oh, thanks," he managed to reply. In his heart he still couldn't embrace them as friends.

"If you need to bring home coal or firewood," Honggan said, " just give me a call. "

"Thanks."

Silence set in. The summer before last Honggan had been demobilized and had become the vice-chairman of a lumberyard in Muji. Like her husband, Haiyan had also made progress in life; after one and a half years of training in Changchun City, she had become an obstetrician. They had moved to downtown Muji so that their son could go to a better school. Though Haiyan and Ma

But Honggan was in a talkative mood. He said in a low voice, "Lin, have you heard anything about Geng Yang?"

Lin was perplexed by the question and shook his head, wondering why he mentioned that name at this wedding. Thank heaven, his bride wasn't around.

"Well, I don't mean to a

Lin didn't say a word, his cheeks coloring.

Seeing the bridegroom's flushed face, Haiyan pinched her husband's neck and asked angrily, "Why the hell did you mention that thug here, moron?" She then gripped his ear and tweaked it.

"Ouch! Let go."

"Apologize to Lin," she ordered.

"All right, all right, Lin, I'm sorry."

Lin said with a bland smile, "Let him go, Haiyan. He meant no harm."

"He's stupid, such a killjoy. " She released his ear. "As if he hadn't done enough damage and hadn't hurt Ma

Honggan realized his blunder. "Sorry, Lin, I didn't mean to do anything nasty. There was an article on Geng Yang in Role Models a month ago. I just want to say it's unfair that son of a bitch is doing so well."

"I understand, " Lin said. He didn't read that magazine and had no idea how rich Geng Yang was.

"We should be going," Haiyan said to her husband.

"Yes." Honggan turned to the bridegroom. "Don't forget I'll be happy to help you. Any heavy work."

"I'll remember that." Lin wondered if the couple had drunk too much.

"Bye-bye." Honggan waved, then grasped his wife's arm. Together they merged into the crowd.

Most of the dancers were in sweaters or shirts now. The room seemed to Lin like a large cabin on a ship, foggy and swaying. This feeling made him giddy.

He couldn't dance, so he stayed with the older officers and their wives, receiving congratulations and answering questions. By now, most of the children had left with candies and fruit in their pockets and with all the balloons, so the room became less noisy and the tables were stacked with empty platters, plates, jackets, hats, mittens. Lin was tired and couldn't stop wondering how his bride was doing alone at home. How bored he was by their wedding.

5

Ma

Ma

"I was young then," he muttered.

"So you had a different pecker?" She chuckled.

"She wasn't like you. "

"In what way?"

"She didn't make me feel like an old man."

"Come on, you are still my young groom." She started kissing his mouth again and swung her leg across his belly.

"Sweetheart, I need more time," he said.

"Okay, take it easy. " She lay still alongside him, but her hand went on caressing his thigh. It took a while to get him ready. They made love for an hour that night, since they wouldn't have to rise early the next morning.

Before the wedding Lin had feared that the rape of a decade ago might continue to trouble Ma

To satisfy her was not easy, yet he tried his best. Exhausted every night, he wondered if he should use an aphrodisiac – getting some ginseng or angelica roots or seahorses and steeping them in a bottle of wheat liquor. But he decided not to concoct such a drink, believing those things would help burn him out sooner. He hoped Ma

In bed, at the climax, Ma

Once, however, she confessed to him, "I don't know why I feel so sad. If only we had married twenty years earlier." He gave thought to her words, but was unsure what they meant exactly. Did she imply that if he were younger, he would have been more virile?

Every time after sex he found her slightly different – tired and older, although pink patches would appear on her cheeks and make her a bit more charming. But the flaccid flesh on her stomach and arms, her soft breasts, and the small crinkles on her throat, all indicated that youth had left her. He would wonder how her body could generate so much desire, which seemed ageless and impossible for him to meet. He felt old and begged her not to indulge herself too much, but she didn't seem to care.