A Free Life

At lunch he told Nan, "Your life here is so clean and decent. You made the right choice to remain in America. I wish I hadn't gone back and had stayed to make an honest living like yours."

"But you've become a famous author."

"Others can say that, but I know what I've accomplished- nothing. Serious writings are a kind of extension of one's life. But I've just been wasting my life and making noises that will disappear in the blink of an eye. What price fame? Just more troubles. The only meaningful thing, the only salvation, is your work, but significant work is impossible in China at present. Besides the censorship, the country's too hectic, and everyone is in a rush to grab off something. People are all obsessed with getting rich, and money has become God." He sighed, looking tearful.

Nan said, "You don't know how hard Pingping and I have worked."

" Of course I can imagine that. But you got your reward. You have your own business and your home, and even two cars. You're a solid businessman. Here you do hard work but live comfortably. What's more, Taotao is a fine boy, and you won't have to worry about his education. My daughter is going to take the entrance exams for high school next spring, and she has already started cramming day and night. She loves painting, but we have to dissuade her from pla

"My son is doing well because his mother has helped him every day."

"You're such a lucky man. Your wife is not only pretty and hardworking but also loyal." Somehow Da

"What's wrong?" Nan asked with a start.

Da

Nan ventured, "Does she mean to leave you?"

"No, that's the hardest part. My daughter is very attached to her, more than to my parents, so we have to stay in this marriage."

Later Nan thought about their conversation. He knew Da

The next day Da

"This is a good way to reform them. I didn't know American prisoners also work."

" Some of them do. I once saw a prison detail planting trees and flowers."

The sight of the convicts reminded Nan of their mutual friend Hansong, who had gone crazy and shot an old man eight years earlier in Massachusetts after he heard that his girlfriend had disappeared in Tiananmen Square. Nan knew Hansong hadn't completed his prison term when he was deported three years ago. He asked Da

"You haven't heard he's married?"

"You mean, he was released from jail?"

"Yes, but he can't find a regular job in China. Nobody wants to take English lessons from him, so he's been a freelance translator." "He was a smart man. What a waste."

Nan felt sad as a lull set in. The traffic light turned red and he hit the brakes. Somehow he caught every red light today, which gave him a premonition that there might be trouble this evening.

As they passed a shopping center near the Korean supermarket, Da

Nan hesitated but jammed on the brakes. He did a U-turn and pulled into the plaza. The parking lot was full, so they left their car behind the building of the strip club, in front of an adult movie theater. Nan wondered if he should go in first to scout this place out, but his friend was already heading toward the bar's front entrance, so he followed him. The second they stepped in, a brawny, hard-faced man boomed at them, "Five dollars a head."

Nan gave him a ten. It was foggy and clamorous inside. They took a table near the passageway to a small room blazoned with vip on its door, since all the tables in front of the dance platforms were occupied. From where they sat they could watch the performances from the side. Along the walls stood some Mexican workers wearing cowboy hats and nursing beers. They seemed reluctant to take a seat at the tables, which would amount to inviting a girl to do a lap dance or table dance. A short-haired barmaid in a lavender skong came and asked Nan and Da

Though he'd already downed a few glasses of wine at di

With a twang the metallic music resumed, and two young women wearing high heels went onto the central platform and began dancing. One of them jumped up and gripped a chrome pole and with one leg spread out revolved around it. The din was so deafening that Nan 's eardrums itched.

He was giddy, never having been to such a place before. He had passed this club every Monday morning on his way to the World Bookstore to buy the Sunday newspaper and had thought that it must be stylish in here and that at most the girls would be topless when they stripped. Now he was astonished to see that some of them didn't have a stitch on, and that a few women, already over thirty, wagged their wide, ungainly bottoms tagged with a bu

A tall brunette came and asked them while batting her dark eyes, "Would yuh care for a lap dance?" Her accent betrayed that she must be a recent Eastern European immigrant.

Nan lowered his head and saw a tattooed butterfly on her i

"Ten bucks."

Before Nan could say another word, Da

The girl turned around, swaying her hips, and began slipping out of her bra little by little. Nan lifted his eyes and saw her youthful breasts, the nipples erect and the areolas pink, flecked with a few pimples; he forced his eyes farther up, to her face. She was affectedly ogling him, the tip of her tongue wiping her teeth and lips, while she raised her rump at Da