Страница 24 из 92
Enosh
My little one stared up at me with a flicker of rage, but it quickly drowned in the blue depth of her glistening eyes. “Sometimes you make it so damn difficult not to hate you.”
A vise of pain wrapped around my ribs, but I would not let my posture betray it, giving her surface to stab where I ought to be numb… but was not.
How unexpected.
Irritating.
Utterly absurd.
What was her hate but a fitful remnant of her mortality? Was she not dead? Terribly cold, yes, but oh-so wonderfully chained to me, her god and master? Never again would she want to escape us.
At least in this, I had succeeded.
“Quite so.” My thumb itched to trace the shell of her ear, to comb the knots from her hair, but I ba
My words turned to ash on my tongue. Bitter, bitter ash. It clogged my sinus cavities, choking me along with the stench of my own skin, driving me mad with the urge to peel it off in layers.
No, whatever affection I’d thought she had for me had been a farce, likely inspired by nothing else but my wife’s ambition to see me return to my duty. So enthralled had I been by this woman and her painful honesty, I’d vowed to open the Pale Court the day she loved me.
A foolish act borne out of this a
A tremble hushed across Ada’s pale bottom lip. “How could it be when you treat me like this? You viciously fucked my mouth!”
“Ah, but that is not nearly the heart of why this… encounter angered you so, is it? Little one, you would have let me fuck your mouth until your neck snapped in half in exchange for a single touch of my hand upon your head.”
And I’d wanted to touch her.
Wanted it still.
Succumbing to this damnable need, I pi
Had not been able to let her go.
How could something this false continue to rouse tender feelings within me? I needed to rid myself of them. Strangle whatever affection I’d foolishly allowed to blossom in my—
Pain stabbed my temples.
My court faded away.
Time stalled and stumbled.
Searing heat flared across by body, sending a nauseating whiff of ash into my nostrils. Through the fog of looming delirium, I clenched my eyes shut, but it only amplified the echo coming from the black cleft that was my sanity. Elric… Oh, where is my beloved Elric?
I blinked the fogginess from my mind, only to stare straight at my wife, the source of my agony. She could not love me…?
Then hate it shall be.
“My poor wife, left even without a word of praise over how deep she took me.” I let my fingertips stroke over the black feathers of her dress, reminding myself of the wounds she carried beneath and why. “Not a single caress of my finger around the shell of her ear. Not even a mumbled, mmm, my love, your skilled mouth feels so good.”
All things I had offered her freely and generously, doting on her for hours, giving her my undivided attention, and never leaving her unsatisfied. Gentle touches. Words of praise. Fine gifts. Not once had she found any appreciation for it.
And I would never offer it again.
Would never elevate her above the others of her wicked kind ever again. What was she other than flesh and bone for me to rule, to use as I wished, no matter how depraved?
“I don’t even recognize you anymore.” Her eyes glistened with what had to be the last of her tears. “Everything I told you was what I thought true.”
My muscles tensed.
And I’d wanted to believe it.
Here she stood, my wedded wife, her ribs too pronounced from too little food and with a new scar slashed across her cheek. Not to mention the fact that she was quite dead…
Hardship was written across her battered body and could not be ignored. The fall off the horse was plausible, along with the story of her dying father—for she had mentioned it before—or the lack of coin.
Not so much her joy.
The one I could never inspire.
“For centuries, I’ve ridden the mortals’ lands, sensing their many hardships and their heavy limbs, even without such dire circumstances as yours,” I said. “Oh, little one, I’ve been rather tempted to rein in my rage, my disbelief, and this biting jealousy over the mortal whose name echoed in your thoughts.”
Until she’d mentioned the child.
Remnants of fury flared in my veins, heating my blood to such a degree that her corpse body mindlessly shifted its balance toward me. It only angered me more, this longing for my warmth she couldn’t suppress, making it no more sincere than anything that had come before.
However…
It was my due, nonetheless.
And I would make use of it until the coldness would be nothing more to her but a thing to accept. Yes, my little one would learn what it felt like to want something so desperately… only to be denied.
She clenched her eyes shut for a moment, not letting her tears escape, precious as they were. “There was no other man.”
Liar.
Liar!
My muscles tensed beneath my skin and my mind fogged once more. I’d been chewed up by the lying teeth of a woman before, for I had understood so little of the power they could wield over any man, be it mortal or god.
And still it was not the bodily betrayal that angered me so. Flesh and bone held no memory, no devotion. The mind, however, did—breeding a disco
“Hear me, Adelaide, you could have whored yourself toward the Pale Court in your difficulty, and I would not have judged. Never that.” I shoved my fingers beneath the weight of her hair, gripping it tightly to justify touching it in the first place. “Make no mistake, I would have killed every man who touched what is mine. I would have forgiven you, if only it meant you’d stood by your vow and this candor of yours I’d come to appreciate so greatly. It is the dishonesty I ca
“If you think I had nothing else to do but smile at other men with that slashed cheek of mine,” she pushed through clenched teeth, “then you’re mad.”
My eyes slipped to her lips.
Perhaps I was.
Why else would I want to kiss her? To take her into my arms, this woman I had come to care for so deeply—perhaps more than I wanted to admit to myself.
“Who would not go mad during a fortnight in the lick of never-ending flames?” I yanked her closer to me—torturing her, torturing me, agonizing us both. “I bleed like you. I hurt like you. The only difference being that I ca
Her chest expanded with another futile inhale, the dark veins of her oxygen-deprived blood still prominent above her collarbone. “Clearly, because you sound insane.”
“Yes, little one, utterly deranged.” So much so, I pulled on her hair until her head tipped back, bringing my mouth near hers. Oh, how I wanted to lose myself in her kiss and the false comfort it promised. “For nearly a fortnight, all that kept my mind from shattering anew was the thought of how you waited for me. A fortnight, little one. A fortnight, and not even a fucking furlong closer to the Pale Court, but overly joyous over something you are not telling me!”
Defiant little thing she was, Ada ripped away from my touch, punishing us both. “I was happy about the baby!”
Righteous fury flooded my veins until my skin bristled. “Oh, yes, the baby. The baby!”
My shout resonated in the chamber, right along with the sudden groans of a corpse in my throne as though I had asked his opinion. Lord Tarnem’s muffled grunts pounded behind my temples right along with the echo of my wife’s cruel lie, and delirium loomed over my thoughts once again.
I was unwell.
Not enough recovered.
“Quiet!” I shouted.
Ada’s eyes flicked between the silenced throne and me, but ultimately settled on me with a blaze of new anger. “Just because it turns out that I wasn’t pregnant after all, doesn’t mean that I hadn’t thought myself—”
My hand rose alongside the violent beat of my heart, tempting me to seal her deceit behind yet another patch of leather. One she would certainly cut open again, for my wife was dead but no more obedient for it. My motion alone stopped her words. Unfortunately, it didn’t call back the pain they’d already unleashed in my chest.
“Two centuries of mourning the death of my unborn daughter...” The agony of her loss aching fresh and fierce like a stab to the heart. “Of all the lies to veil your betrayal, perhaps even your faithlessness, you chose this one? This one? When you knew how much I’d wanted to die—”
I stopped myself.
No, I would not allow her to drive another knife into my ribcage. Would certainly not let her see how she just had.
I stifled my ragged breathing.
Smoothed the tension off my face.
“You shall answer this question.” Leaning into her, I let my exhale tingle along the side of her neck, tormenting her with longing, punishing her with the premise of my warmth. “You say you would have returned... So tell me, little one, have you been this convinced the entire time?” Another exhale, and she turned her head, slowly shifting toward me. “Did you ever wonder what it might be like if you escaped? Did you ever… doubt your vow to return?”
A flinch. A slow blink. And then…
…silence.
Cold. Dead. Silence.
Aside from how she gulped—likely swallowing whatever tale she’d considered serving me for the fraction of a moment. A courtesy I could certainly appreciate, but it made her no less a liar.
Liar!
Prickling heat seared beneath my skin until her bones brittled at my command and the dais crackled beneath us. I wanted to grab her neck and drag her into a deep grave—bury her beneath dirt and let her rot—as that was how much I hated her for making me… hurt, ache, long.
Feel.
Hated myself even more because I could not do it. And I could not do it. And I could not fucking do it.
My chest constricted.
What was wrong with me? What had this woman done to me? Why could I not bring myself to be nearly as cruel to her as she deserved? As I ought to! Was I not above the fickle emotions of mankind? Was I not a god, and she a mere dead mortal?
All strength left me.