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“Yes, it was dramatic.” Ash blinked several times. “Unia and eram are what many of the Ancients became before the end of their time, but any Primal can become it if their rage truly consumes them or if they go too long without feeding but manage not to go into stasis.”
A shiver spider-walked down my spine. The idea of any Primal becoming that was terrifying.
Ash picked up a piece of beef with his fork. “You know, this begs one very important question—actually, more than one. But if the existence of the true embers of life and death keep the Ancients basically entombed underground, then why would a Fate train you to kill the true Primal of Death?”
“And why did your father, who had to know this, attempt to create a weapon that could?” I tacked on.
Chewing slowly, Ash raised his brows. “Another good question.”
“Something isn’t adding up.” I brushed a curl back from my face, thinking about Holland and his kindness. I couldn’t picture him as an infinite, unending being older than the realms. I just couldn’t.
“Many things aren’t adding up, starting with why this isn’t more well-known. All Primals should be in possession of this knowledge,” he said. “Why would only my father and Kolis know?”
“I…” I frowned as I studied my fork, seeing nothing in my mind except for a humming white wall. “I…I don’t know.” Frustration rose, but I cooled it before I obliterated another utensil. “But as long as there’s balance, the Ancients won’t be a problem.” The tasty meat soured in my stomach. “You said that Kolis has been weakened due to my Ascension and that it has bought us time. I’m guessing not a whole lot of it.”
Ash nodded, trailing the edge of his fork across his plate. “Exactly how much time ca
Tension crept into my muscles as I stabbed another piece of delicious cauliflower. “Because they’re using the time to decide whether to continue standing with Kolis or not.”
Interest pinched his brow. “Is that what your foresight is telling you?”
“No. Just an assumption. But I can try to answer that.” I frowned as I eyed the glass of water, trying to determine whether I was correct. Instead of being met with an explanation or silence, I hit what felt like another wall. “There’s like a…a thick cloud of static in my head. I know you can’t see static, but that’s the best I can come up with.”
“Sounds a lot like a mental shield.” His fork hovered over the cauliflower. “It’s what I see or feel when someone’s blocking me from reading their emotions.”
Sending him a wry glance, I thought that a shield was something I needed to work on. “It’s the same thing when I try to think about something I want to know about myself.” I forked up a piece of chicken. “Nektas said it was the same for Eythos when it came to anything having to do with him,” I said. I’d told Ash about me ru
Instead of reaching for the water, I willed it to move and continued. “And had to do with balance.” I gasped as the glass shot across the table, smacking against my palm. Water sloshed over the sides, spilling onto the tabletop.
I winced, glancing at Ash. “Oops.”
His lips were pressed together like he was trying not to laugh. “Careful,” he murmured, picking up a napkin.
I gri
Dabbing at the table, he arched a brow. “Perhaps you should practice with something you don’t need to eat or are trying to consume.”
“Good idea.” I took a careful sip of water.
Ash tossed the napkin aside. “Anyway, about the vadentia. It reminds me of how the Arae can’t see the fate of risen Primals.”
“Seems rather convenient,” I muttered.
“And unhelpful.”
My grin faded as my mind raced back to what he’d said about Hanan. Something about that nagged at me as I poked at what was left on my plate. Ash had said his anger and Hanan being out of practice had helped him defeat the other Primal, but…
“By the way, when you spoke about the Ancients Awakening?” Ash said, drawing me from my thoughts. “You sounded like the true Primal of Life.”
Curiosity rose as I sat back. “How does the true Primal of Life sound?”
“Powerful.”
The corners of my lips turned up. I liked that. Probably too much. “And how do I normally sound?”
“Beautiful.”
Rolling my eyes, I laughed. “I know I normally sound like a rambling, half-intoxicated mess.”
“I like the way you sound—how you normally talk.” His head kicked back as he eyed me. “I wouldn’t describe it as sounding like a half-intoxicated mess, though.”
“But you would describe it as being rambling?”
A half-grin appeared. “I would say entertaining.”
“Uh-huh.” I smiled at his chuckle. “By the way, have you seen Nektas since you threatened his life, and did you apologize?”
A faint flush stained Ash’s cheeks, bringing a grin to my face. “Actually, I did.” He cleared his throat. “He let me know that things were quiet.”
“That’s good.”
“It is.”
Thoughts dwelling on why things were quiet, I ate a piece of chicken. If we were lucky, Kolis was still in stasis, but that seemed doubtful. “It won’t stay that way for long.”
“No, it won’t.” He paused. “Soon, there will be a city full of people wanting to see you.”
My chest spasmed as I lowered the fork. “Who and why?”
“Some will be from Lethe,” he said, speaking of the city within the Shadowlands. “Others will be from other Courts, coming to pay homage to their new Queen.”
My stomach plopped to the general vicinity of the floor. “They don’t need to do that.”
His lopsided grin returned. “They do it because they want to, liessa. Not because they have to.”
My throat constricted. “Is there a way to make them, I don’t know, not want to?”
“It’s been centuries since there has been a true Primal of Life, Sera.” His silvery gaze met mine. “I imagine they are excited and hopeful for stability and safety.”
My panic receded for a moment as I was struck silent by the deep warmth in his eyes and voice. Love. I’d seen it before when his features softened as he looked or talked to me, but I just hadn’t recognized it for what it was. How could I when it should be impossible? But I saw and felt his love, and that mattered so damn much. My very being swelled with so much joy I felt as if I could float right to the ceiling.
His head tilted, sending one of those stray locks of hair against his jaw. “What are you thinking about?”
“Are you reading my emotions again?”
“It’s kind of hard not to when you’re projecting.”
I sighed. “I really need to work on that shield.”
“It won’t help if you’re projecting,” he reminded me and lifted his hand. The bowl of fruit slid smoothly across the table, coming to a stop at his fingertips.
I narrowed my eyes. “Show-off.”
He gri
Warmth lit up my chest as I twisted toward him, drawing one leg up. “Is that what love tastes like to you?”
His eyes returned to mine as he offered me the strawberry. “Was that what you were feeling?”
I took the fruit. “Yes.”
“Then that is what it tastes like to me.” He picked up another berry without looking at it and popped it into his mouth. A tiny drop of juice clung to his lip, drawing far too much of my attention. “Decadent and lush.”
Muscles low in my stomach curled, and I had to force myself to look away before I did something rather inappropriate. Like climb all over him midsentence.
“You know,” he said, “if there was a way to prevent the others from realizing you Ascended and give you more time to adapt, I would do it.”
“I know.” I took a small bite of the fruit, which was difficult to swallow. The rise in anxiety was so not me having faith in myself. “I’m just being ridiculous.”
“No, you’re not.” He set the bowl aside as I finished off the berry. “You weren’t prepared for this, Sera. And even if you had been raised from birth to expect such, you’ve gone through a lot in a very short period of time.”
Not wanting to think about the a lot I’d gone through, I nodded and wiped stickiness from my fingers.
“But you won’t be facing any gods or Primals alone,” he stated softly. “I will be right beside you, as will those who serve the Shadowlands.”
I glanced at him, finding another sugar-dusted strawberry between his fingers. I took the tasty fruit and bit into it.
One of those rare, wide smiles appeared, exposing the straight line of his teeth. As I stared at him, I was mesmerized by how it softened the harsh beauty of his features. There was also a naturalness to this kind of smile, like his lips were always meant to be curved in such a way. And I thought that if he had lived a different life, that smile would be the first thing seen by many.
Wondering how I got so damn lucky, I pressed my forehead to his. “I love you,” I whispered. “I love you so very much.”
Ash clasped the back of my head, his fingers curling around the strands of my hair. His lips found mine, and the kiss conveyed those three words with just as much power as if they had been spoken.
“Finish eating,” he said against my lips, and I felt his mouth curve into a smile. “Please.”
My lips twitched as I picked up my fork. In the silence, my mind went back to what we had been talking about before all of that. I pushed another chunk of chicken around my plate, wondering how long the realm would remain quiet. My intuition told me nothing, and without eyes in Dalos, we had no way of knowing.
I suddenly thought about Elias, one of Kolis’s close guards who had been spying for Attes. “Do you think Attes has any other spies in Dalos?”
“I’m sure he does.” Ash speared a sliver of meat. “He came by when you were in stasis, but I didn’t speak with him. Nektas did.”
“Did Nektas say if Attes knew whether Kolis was still in stasis or not?”
“The only thing the Primal mentioned was that Kolis had not been seen in Dalos.”
That could mean anything.
“But I’m sure he’ll be back.” Ash paused. “Unfortunately.”
Ignoring that last part, I hoped Attes returned soon. I wanted to make sure he had the Star diamond somewhere where Kolis nor anyone else could get their hands on it—
I nearly dropped my fork. “That golden, mask-wearing motherfucker.”