Страница 26 из 216
CHAPTER FIVE
“So.” I drew out the word as Ash placed a bowl of sugar-dusted strawberries on the table he’d moved closer to the couch. He’d done it so, as he’d put it, his Queen could be more comfortable while we ate. “When were you going to mention my eyes?”
“I did,” he replied, placing several more covered platters down. “I told you earlier that they were beautiful.”
“I just assumed you were being sweet.” My stomach grumbled as the aroma of herbs and spices rose. Exactly when had I last eaten? I had no idea. “It didn’t even cross my mind that you were saying it because they look broken.”
His deep, melodic chuckle skated over my skin. “Your eyes don’t look broken, liessa. They are as beautiful as they were before. Just slightly different now.”
“But they’re different than any other Primal’s. Even Bele’s eyes became silver after her Ascension.”
“I’m not sure why that is, but I imagine it has to do with you once being mortal.”
I watched him lift the lid from a plate of chicken, then another with beef. As he revealed another platter containing several helpings of different vegetables, my gaze lifted. I tracked each striking line of his face until I reached the curve of his jaw. “How did you get the scar on your chin?”
An eyebrow rose as he glanced over at me. “That was a random question.”
“I know.” My cheeks warmed. “It’s just something I’ve always wondered, and I thought I might die without ever learning the answer.”
Ash’s hand froze with the knife poised over the chicken. Our eyes locked, and his chest rose with a sharp breath. The aura of essence brightened behind his pupils, seeping out.
Concern blossomed. I reached for him, hesitating for only a heartbeat before placing my hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “It’s just that, for a few moments, I forgot how close I came to losing you.”
My heart stuttered as I squeezed his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t apologize. There’s no reason to.” He leaned over and placed a quick kiss on my forehead. “It happened when I was younger, a few years after my Ascension and before I was able to keep my temper in check while around Kolis.”
My shoulders tensed. Of course, the scar was co
“Kolis ordered me to sentence a god he’d recently killed to the Abyss. The god didn’t deserve his death or the punishment. I refused, pissing off Kolis while being too close to one of his draken.”
Gods, I hated Kolis.
“I thought the bastard was asleep,” he went on, slicing the chicken. “I was wrong.”
“Was it Naberius?” I asked, thinking of the large draken with the black scales tinged in red. “He was sleeping most of the time I saw him.”
Ash smirked. “That would be him. Nab is nearly as old as Kolis.”
Nab? Nap would’ve made a better nickname.
“He’s also one of the crankiest sons of bitches you’ll ever meet.”
My attention shifted to the bare shadowstone wall above us. “I saw a couple of his draken. Diaval was one of them.”
“You mean the blond-haired fucker?”
My lips quirked. “You mean the one with the prettiest hair I’ve ever seen? That fucker? Yes. When I tried to escape, he was with Elias when I got caught,” I said, thinking about the guard who had been spying for Attes. “I hit Diaval with eather like I did to you in the Dying Woods. Knocked him back several feet. I think he was too shocked to really react to it.”
A slow smile spread on his lips. “That’s my girl.”
My grin kicked up several notches. “There was another I never interacted with. I only saw him in passing, but something about him struck me as different than the others. He had light brown skin, and his hair was in braids.”
“That’s Sax,” Ash told me. “He’s the quietest of Kolis’s draken.”
“What do you mean by quietest?”
“I’ve never heard him speak. Not once.” Ash looked over at me. “Diaval and Nab always belonged to Kolis. They were with him when he ruled the Shadowlands.” He paused. “Sax was one of my father’s draken.”
Meaning he had been forced to bond with Kolis and was given no choice but to defend the Primal to the death. Gods, that sickened and angered me to the core. I fiddled with the edge of a napkin. It wasn’t right. “What happened with Nab?”
“I was mouthing off to Kolis, and, like I said, I thought Nab was asleep. He wasn’t, and when I stepped toward Kolis, the draken swiped out with his claws. He got me in my face—my chin and nose.” Ash gestured with his knife at the fainter scar on the bridge of his nose. “And then my throat. Almost severed half my damn head.”
“My gods,” I whispered, my stomach clenching. “And all you have are those two little scars?”
“It’s where his claws dug in. They did most of the damage. I looked a mess for a couple of days afterward.”
I stared at his throat, stu
What Attes—the Primal of Accord and War—had said about the vulnerability of a newly Ascended Primal resurfaced. My new odd sense of knowing didn’t spew any answers. “So,” I said as Ash reached across the table and picked up a fork. My gaze flicked back to his face as he moved a chicken breast onto a plate. “I’m basically a baby Primal now.”
“A what?” Ash’s laugh tugged at my lips and heart. “A baby Primal?”
“Attes said that newly Ascended Primals are weaker than normal and used the word fledgling instead of baby, but that makes me think of birds for some reason.” I saw his jaw tense at the mention of the Primal. “You’re still mad at Attes.”
Ash said nothing. He didn’t need to.
“He swore to me that he would support you, no matter what. Besides that, your father trusted Attes enough to tell him what he pla
“I’ve realized that, liessa.”
My lips pursed as he angrily diced the chicken breast into pieces small enough for a young child. “I feel like there’s a but coming.”
“But that doesn’t mean I can forgive him for placing you in Kolis’s hands.”
“He did it to protect the Shadowlands, Ash.”
A strand of hair slipped free, falling against his cheek. “You’re really defending him?”
“I wouldn’t say I’m defending him. I’m just pointing out that there were reasons behind what he did.”
He stared at me. “How is that not defending him?”
“Because I, too, was ticked off at him.” I picked up the glass of water. “Part of me still is. But his brother was about to lay waste to the entire Court, leaving only the Pillars of Asphodel and beyond. Attes did what he could at the time to stop Kyn.”
“I get that.” Ash placed the knife aside and scooped up a heaping helping of steamed cauliflower.
“Then you have to understand that he was only trying to prevent that.”
“What I understand is that I would’ve prevented Kyn from destroying the Shadowlands.” His eather-streaked gaze found mine. “And if not, the Shadowlands would’ve fallen, but you would’ve been safe. And that is all that matters.”
My breath snagged as his gaze held mine. Even without foresight, I knew in my soul that he spoke the absolute truth. If it came down to the Court he’d spent the last two centuries guarding or my safety, he would choose me.
“That shouldn’t surprise you, liessa. The dream or vision—whatever you want to call it—that I had the night you were born would’ve come to fruition.” A charge of energy left Ash, causing the chandelier overhead to sway slightly. “I would’ve seen the realms burn if I lost you. You may not believe I would’ve allowed that to happen, just as you believe my decency extends beyond you, but it doesn’t. I would’ve gladly seen it all burn.” He flattened one palm on the table. “I’m sorry if that disturbs you. I truly am. But it’s the truth.”
My grip tightened on the glass. “I…I don’t think you would’ve gladly seen it all burn, but I…” Heart thumping heavily, I took a drink and then set the glass down. “I would do the same for you.” Eather stirred beneath my skin, reacting to the truth in what I’d said. I would do unspeakable things, stuff far worse than what I’d already done, to keep Ash alive. I was more than capable. “That’s probably not good. Actually, it isn’t good, considering the whole Primal-of-Life thing. But it doesn’t disturb me.”
Primal essence swirled in Ash’s eyes. “Then, for the sake of the realms, we’d better ensure that both of us remain alive.”
Holding his stare, I nodded. “Agreed.”
Ash slid the plate toward me. “Please, eat.”
I picked up my fork and, feeling his gaze on me, took a bite of the savory chicken. My stomach immediately thanked me.
“You are a fledgling,” he continued after a moment. “Meaning you will tire more easily after repeatedly using the essence. But you will still be stronger than all the gods and likely many of the Primals.” He speared a slab of grilled beef and moved it to his plate. “Looking back, you already were. A young god, let alone one in their Culling, wouldn’t be able to do much with eather while surrounded by so much shadowstone.”
I glanced at the ceiling’s glossy surface. Shadowstone absorbed energy—the eather that could be found in all living things—from the environment, weakening the gods’ and Primals’ ability to tap into the essence. But I’d almost brought the entire palace down on our heads after finding the Primal Goddess of Rites and Prosperity feeding from Ash. Just thinking about Veses and how she’d taken advantage of Ash’s need to protect me caused eather to thrum hotly within me. But I couldn’t unsee her stricken features as Kolis handed her over to Kyn for punishment.
I shifted, feeling uncomfortable. How could I hate someone with every fiber of my being but still feel bad for them? I shoved several pieces of chicken into my mouth, refusing to think about her. Or feel all that bad for her.
“And newly Ascended Primal or not, you can kill another Primal. You’re more dangerous now without the experience or control when it comes to the full extent of your powers, but you will have to replenish the spent eather more than you will as time passes. You can do it by resting, eating, or feeding.” There was a second of silence. “I do hope you choose the third option.”
Freezing with another piece of chicken halfway to my open mouth, I peeked over at him.