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CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
“Nyktos said you wanted to see me,” Aios said as she crossed the fourth-floor antechamber, the hem of her sky-blue gown whispering over the stone floors.
She sat beside me on the couch while I sipped the juice Ash had insisted I finish. “You’ve made your choice?” she asked.
My heart fluttered. “We’ve made our choice. We’re going to do…the parent thing.”
Aios was quiet for a heartbeat and then squealed, causing me to jump. “I knew it!” She made another noise that sort of reminded me of a kitten, and then threw her arms around me. “Sorry! I’m so happy to hear this.”
“I can tell.” I only managed to hold on to my cup by sheer luck. “How did you know?”
“Nyktos sent Rhain to summon Kye,” she explained, squeezing me until I was the one close to squeaking. “He told Rhain he wanted Kye to check you over to ensure you were healing, but…”
“But you knew better.”
“I did.” Sitting back, she clasped her hands and tucked them under her chin. “I would’ve supported you either way. Truly. But I am so excited and happy for you—for both of you. For all of us. Do you even know the last time a Primal had children?”
“When Nyktos was born?”
Aios laughed. “Of course, you know.” She drew back. “When will you tell everyone? Please say soon because not telling Bele will drive me mad.”
I laughed, setting my cup on the side table. “I’m not sure when, but with everything going on, we want to keep it quiet. Can you help with that?”
“Of course. I won’t say a word, even though it will drive me mad.” Her cheeks were flushed. “How did he take the news?”
“I think he almost passed out,” I shared.
Aios giggled. “Fates, what I would have given to see that.”
I gri
Her smile faltered a bit as her gaze swept over my features. “Are you not excited? Now that you’ve talked to Nyktos?”
“I am,” I was quick to say. “I’m also a little terrified.”
“Understandable,” she said, patting my knee. “Did you guys talk about how this does and doesn’t affect things?”
“We talked about feeding and stuff,” I told her. “That’s something we have to ask Kye, but we haven’t gotten to the part where I tell him that I won’t be backing down from anything yet.”
“How do you think he’ll respond?”
I laughed. “Not at all well.”
Aios nodded. “At least you’re expecting him to put up a fight.”
“I am. And I understand why he won’t likely agree with me fighting. I get it. But if something happened to him and I wasn’t there?” Pressing my lips together, I shook my head. “I can’t even think about it.” I blew out a breath. “Anyway, I know he will be an amazing father.”
“And I believe you will make an incredible mother,” she said, her voice unwavering.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “I don’t know.”
Her delicate brows furrowed. “I do.”
“I’m going to try. I want to because I…I love them already.” A nervous laugh left me as Aios’s features softened. My face warmed. “I do. And that makes me even more terrified,” I admitted, my fears rising then. I couldn’t put a lid on them. “I will do everything to be a good mother, even though I am possibly the worst and most undeserving person to have a child, let alone two of them.” I frowned. “I don’t even know how to swaddle one.” I looked at her. “Do you?”
“Yes.” Her lips twitched. “I can show you, but parenting is something you sort of learn along the way.”
That sounded chaotic and unpredictable, especially when I was involved in learning along the way.
I swallowed hard. “Yeah, but it’s more than that. I’m an anxious mess most days, and I can only imagine that will be, like, amplified, but…I guess being a nervous mess is normal when it comes to having children.”
“It is. I can swear to that,” she said. “I’ve known mothers on their sixth child still being incredibly anxious.”
Sixth? My eyes widened, and I shook my head. I glanced at Aios, opened my mouth, and then closed it.
“What?” She nudged me with her shoulder.
“Nothing.” I smiled. “I have no idea what Kye will do when he gets here.”
“It won’t be anything too invasive,” she said. “Just a general exam. Mostly, he will likely talk with you and Nyktos.”
I exhaled slowly. “Okay.”
Aios left so I could change into something other than a robe. I dressed not for the appointment with Kye but for what would come afterward, do
Leaving the top hook undone because it wasn’t entirely comfortable, I returned to the antechamber.
The moment the draken walked in from the balcony and our eyes met, I knew Ash had told him. It was the softness in his features and gaze. I stopped halfway to the raised platform, a knot of emotion lodging in my throat.
In less than a breath, Nektas held me in his arms and lifted my bare feet off the floor. The hug surprised me, but I got over it quickly, throwing my arms around his neck. He smelled of wind and earth.
“Sera,” he said in his gravelly voice, pressing his cheek to the side of my head.
I squeezed my eyes shut, soaking in his warmth. “Crazy, huh?”
He chuckled roughly. “It is, but in the best possible way.” He lowered me to my feet and drew back, his hands moving to my shoulders as his thin pupils dilated. “I thought I scented something from you before but wasn’t sure what it was.”
My brows snapped together. “When you smelled death on me?”
“No.” His laugh was low. “As I told you before, that was because I smelled Ash on you.”
“Oh.” My face warmed. “I probably could’ve lived without you bringing that up again.”
“It was when you returned from the riders and we were on the balcony,” he explained. “Your scent had changed.”
“Do I even want to know what that means?”
One side of his lips curved up. “Your scent was richer and more of a mix of you and Ash than it ever was before. It has been so long since I’ve been around a Primal who was with child that it didn’t even cross my mind.” His hands slid to mine, and he held them gently. “I am so incredibly happy for you and Ash. This is…” He took a deep breath, his voice roughening even more. “This is something I never dared to dream for him.”
“He said the same,” I whispered, blinking back…what else? Tears. Gods, the crying thing was getting a
“Eager,” he said, letting go of my hands. My lips curved up. “As soon as we were alone, he blurted it out. I wasn’t sure I had heard him correctly at first.”
“Were you as still as a statue?” I asked. “Because he was when I told him.”
“I’m sure I was.” Strands of hair slid over his shoulder when he tilted his head. “What I saw in his eyes today…I’ve never seen before.”
“What did you see?”
“It is hard to put into words.” He took a moment. “But it was like seeing a man who suddenly realizes they have earned everything they could ever ask for.”
“Oh.” I clapped my hands over my mouth. “I think I’m going to cry.”
That soft look filled his features once more. “It’s okay if you do.”
“No, it’s not.” I stepped back, waving my hands at my face as if that would actually help. “Okay. I need to talk about something other than Ash being perfect.”
Nektas gri
I frowned. Nektas pla
An indiscernible look flickered across his features. “Just checking.” He quickly moved on. “How are you handling the news?”
“Oh, you know.” Clearing my throat, I stopped flapping my hands at my face. “Alternating between being really happy, terrified, and excited while wondering what in the world I did to deserve this.”
“I can name several reasons why you deserve this.”
“And I can name one really big reason that nullifies all those reasons,” I replied with a dry laugh.
The smile slipped from Nektas’s face. “What do you mean?”
The same thing that happened with Aios repeated itself. My mouth opened but words sat defiantly on the tip of my tongue.
“Sera,” he said, his vibrant gaze sweeping over my features.
Shaking my head, I plopped down on the sofa. “I…” This was hard to say out loud. “I just keep asking myself how this is possible. After all the lives I took, how did I end up carrying life inside me?”
A small frown pulled his brows down. “That’s not how any of this works—”
“I know.” I closed my eyes and then quickly reopened them. “What I mean is that there seems to be no balance in this. And yeah, I get that I conceived before I lost control, but I keep thinking it’s not fair. It would have made more sense if fate had made me barren. Or if it took them from me after what I did…”
“I see what you’re saying.” Nektas came over and sat beside me. His large frame took up nearly two cushions. “Halayna felt something similar when she first learned she was pregnant with our daughter.”
My head turned to him in surprise. This was only maybe the second time I’d ever heard him speak about his mate. “Why?”
“There used to be far more fighting among the draken, especially after Eythos was killed. We wanted justice but sought vengeance.” His head tipped back on a heavy exhale. “My mate was extraordinarily kind and generous.” He paused. “If she liked you.”
I cracked a grin.
His lips followed suit. “But she was also as vicious as she was kind. When provoked, she was as feared as much as I am. Possibly even more so because when she let loose on someone, she didn’t hold back.” He glanced at me sideways. “Sound like anyone we know?”
“Whatever,” I murmured.
“After Eythos was killed, Halayna singlehandedly took out most of the draken that served in Veses’ Court and wiped out the entirety of Hanan’s.”
My eyes widened. “Good gods.”
“Like I said, she could be vicious. Fiercely so. It was one of the reasons I loved her.” His chin lowered. “You may know a part of this story. It involves Reaver’s parents.”
“They were killed when Ash didn’t respond to Kolis’s summons in a timely ma
Nektas nodded. “Kolis sent several of his draken. We lost Reaver’s parents and two more in the battle, but Kolis lost twice that. His actions caused him to have fewer draken in his Court than Ash.”