Страница 163 из 216
“Yet,” I added, catching the small smirk that brought out one dimple on Attes’s cheek. “I don’t want your loyalty simply because of the essence coursing through my veins or because of the crown upon my head. Come to think of it,” I said, reaching for the crown. I lifted it, snagging a few hairs. The gold gleamed, and I glanced back at Ash. He watched me, curious but not concerned. His eyes were a molten silver, heated and bright. I looked back at those below. “I should not even be wearing this crown.”
Rhain closed his eyes, and Bele exchanged nervous looks with Saion and Rhahar.
Veses was still smirking.
Half-tempted to toss the crown at her face, I resisted the urge and willed it…well, I willed it wherever the crown was supposed to go when I didn’t want it. As it vanished from my hand, I hoped I hadn’t sent it to the Abyss.
“I’m sure some of you were thinking that. Or have. I know I have,” I admitted.
A throaty voice dug into every last nerve of mine. “Well,” Veses drawled, “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
My head snapped to her, but I didn’t get a chance to respond.
“If you interrupt my wife again,” Ash said, his voice a frigid warning that sent the flames above the candles flickering, “You will find yourself without the ability to do so.”
Veses’ mouth snapped shut. I didn’t think it was only anger that stained her cheeks. Ash’s threat had hurt her feelings, which was entirely fucked up.
But Veses was a mess.
I smiled at her. “I was saying that I have thought I shouldn’t be wearing the crown. Not because I was born mortal or because there has never been a Queen of the Gods.”
“Or because the essence inside you comes from Eythos,” Maia spoke up, her husky voice flat as she nodded in Ash’s direction. “And from him?”
“Not even because of that,” I said, keeping my hands at my sides and open. “However, I’m going to say what many have already thought, including me. Nyktos should be the true Primal of Life.”
A gasp of surprise came from someone on the floor as I felt Ash move, stepping closer to me. Phanos’s features sharpened, and his upper body leaned forward.
“Not because of who his father was or because of some birthright. As someone born mortal, I, more than most, know that birth doesn’t make you worthy of loyalty. Nor does gender,” I said, catching Phanos’ stare. “Nyktos has earned any loyalty you may have felt toward him. He did so through blood and sacrifice. You know him. He’s worthy of your loyalty whether you wish to admit it or not.”
Candlelight glinted off the pearl crown as Maia tilted her head. “He has.”
“But he is not the true Primal of Life,” I said, holding her gaze for a moment. “And neither is Kolis.” I took a small breath. “But you all already know that. Just like you know Kolis earned your loyalty through manipulation and fear. You all know him. And you know he is not worthy of your loyalty.”
“That is blasphemous,” Phanos stated blandly. “As is what you’ve done today.”
“You think this is blasphemous?” We needed to lure Phanos to our side, but disbelief and anger seized my tongue. “Did you not think it was that when Kolis killed Eythos’s wife simply because his brother refused to bring a mortal back to life for him?”
“A mortal he loved,” he argued. “Sotoria—”
“Do not speak of Sotoria.” Eather thrummed through me, and the corners of my vision turned silver-tinged gold once more. “You know nothing of her. And do not even dare defend his actions to me. What he feels for her is not love. It is a sick, twisted obsession.”
From the sky above, the deep, rumbling call of a draken could be heard.
I exhaled slowly, pushing the anger back down. “Was it not blasphemous when Kolis struck out against others in his anger, killing women and men? Children?” I waited for anyone to answer. “No? How about when he stole the embers from your King and installed himself as such?” My gaze swept over those below. “Was it not blasphemous when he snapped the necks of my family for no reason other than to lash out?”
“How about when you killed Embris?” Veses challenged.
My back stiffened. “I shouldn’t have done that. I lost control.”
The throne room went completely silent. No one, not even Kyn, had expected me to say that.
“And I will forever bear the shame of my actions. Not because I killed him. I ca
A muscle ticked in Kyn’s jaw when he folded his arms across his chest.
“I was told that Embris was a traditionalist,” I continued. “He did not care about tradition when Kolis stole the embers or when he lashed out at the mortal realm.”
“He did.” Phanos’s deep voice carried through the chamber. “But he was afraid.”
“As if you weren’t,” Kyn mocked.
The Primal of Sky, Sea, Earth, and Wind ignored him. “At that time, Kolis had taken the embers, and he would have been able to Ascend another Primal in place of any he struck down. We all knew that.”
I glanced at Attes. None of us has had much of a choice. That was what he’d said when it came to serving Kolis.
But once the embers faded in Kolis, the threat of death had passed for them, but not for the gods in their Courts, their draken, or anyone they may have cared for.
“Each of you did what was necessary to survive Kolis’s reign. You did what was necessary,” I repeated. The next words tasted of brimstone on my tongue. “I understand.”
“Just as you did whatever was necessary to survive?” Veses asked, her silver eyes pulsing.
My skin prickled all over. Breathe in. The curve of Kyn’s lips didn’t help. “I did what I could to survive him. Just as far too many before me were made to do,” I said, noticing Maia look at the floor. “And I hope each of you remembers all who didn’t survive him, though I fear most of you don’t.”
Maia’s eyes closed.
“Only because they have chosen to forget them,” Bele stated.
“Not all of us,” Maia whispered, lifting her head. Her eyes opened and glimmered. “Not all of us have forgotten. We couldn’t…” She shook her head, then lifted her chin. “You are right. Our loyalty was one born of fear, first for ourselves and then for those we cared about.” Her gaze moved from Ash to me. “That is not an excuse. It is just a truth. One that is the same for all of us.”
“You do not speak for me, Maia,” Veses snapped.
Maia’s laugh was dry, and one side of her lips curled up. “Ah, yes, you have never experienced pain or fear at Kolis’s hands.”
“Would you like to experience that right now?” Veses asked, moving toward the other Primal goddess.
Ash stepped forward and looked at her. That was all he had to do. Veses halted.
“You say Kolis hasn’t earned our loyalty,” Phanos said. “But neither have you.”
“You’re right. I haven’t.” I turned at the waist to Ash. “But I have earned his loyalty. I did so through blood and sacrifice. He knows me. I am worthy of his loyalty.” My gaze shifted to Rhain. His eyes were open. Breathe out. “I have earned the loyalty of those who’ve served him.”
Rhain smiled slightly. “Seraphena has.” He turned to the others. “She’s earned it through blood and sacrifice.” Rhain stomped his right boot.
I blinked, not expecting the clap of his heel against stone.
“We know her,” Saion spoke from where he stood to our left, slamming his booted foot down.
“Seraphena is worthy of our loyalty,” Rhahar said, ending with a stomp, and a thunderous sound of boots against stone echoed from the guards standing at the walls.
“Seraphena earned my loyalty,” Nektas stated, and Phanos looked at him and listened. “She has earned the loyalty of my brethren. She has done so through blood and ash. She is worthy.”
Emotion thickened my voice as my gaze moved to Maia, Keella, and then Phanos. “And I want to earn your loyalty.”
“Sorry.” Veses smiled. “But you’re not my type.”
I got what she was saying. I’d earned Ash’s loyalty—and who knew who else—on my back.
And so had Ash.
His flesh thi
“It’s okay,” I said, holding up a hand. “I find her attempts to insult me amusing. Soon, she’ll call me freckled and fat, and everyone will be so impressed by her wittiness.”
Phanos snorted, and Veses’ head spun toward him. “What?” He shrugged. “You have always been terrible at insults.”
Her red lips thi
“How will you earn the loyalty of those who may be in doubt?” Keella asked.
“All I have right now is my word that I will be a better choice, but I know that means little, if anything, to some of you.” Breathe in. “But what you all need to know is that I don’t want your fear. To be honest, I don’t even want loyalty from some of you.”
Veses stiffened. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Elias elbow Thierran.
“Well, this has been an inspiring message,” Kyn remarked, “but—”
“I wasn’t done,” I said.
“Of course, not,” Veses muttered, widening her eyes at her blood-hued fingernails.
I took a breath and counted. “I can assure each of you that I do not plan to do what Kolis is pla
Phanos cursed, and Maia pressed her hand to her chest, turning to Keella. Besides the Primal Goddess of Rebirth, Attes, and Bele, the only other two who didn’t look surprised were Veses and Kyn.
They knew.
“That’s impossible,” Phanos argued.
“It’s not,” Keella said. “It would simply be joining the two Primal essences together, as it was when the Ancients ruled.”
“As the Primal of Life and Death, he would not need any of you. Anger him, and he would simply kill you and Ascend another,” I told them. “He still pla
“That is not the only concern.” Penellaphe turned to face the others. “If Kolis had Ascended as the Primal of Life and Death, he would’ve awakened the ones who went to ground. The Ancients.”
“You all know what will happen if those in the ground awaken,” Keella warned. “It will not be just the mortal realm that burns.”
Most had gone quiet then, left uneasy by the mere thought of the Ancients waking.