Born of Blood and Ash

“He’s not,” Attes confirmed.

“But we should plan for either of them to make a move at any point,” I continued, glancing at Rhain. “We need to send forces to Sirta to back up Bele.”

There were several nods.

“I will also send a division.” Attes tugged on my waist. “Come.”

Kars moved away from the pedestal and stopped in front of us. He lowered himself to one knee and bowed his head. “I am sorry for your loss,” he said, his voice thick. “May your family be welcomed into the arms of those waiting for them in the Vale.”

Tears clogged my throat and stung my eyes. I felt myself begin to shake and crack further. “Thank you.”

I had no idea how I ended up in my bedchambers, whether I had walked or Attes had shadowstepped us—for all I knew, he could’ve carried me. But we were there.

I looked around the space. Everything looked different now.

Attes stood in front of me and took my left hand in his. “Sera—”

Closing my eyes, I immediately regretted doing so. All I saw was the fear on the Chosen’s faces. The bodies of my family, strangers, and gods—bodies I had left in my wake.

I sucked in a short breath, stumbling back a step as I freed my hand from his grasp. “Dametria,” I gasped.

Attes frowned. “What?”

Part of me didn’t want to ask because if I’d done something to her… “Was she in Dalos? At Cor Palace or the Sanctuary?”

Understanding flickered across his features. “No, she was not. She has not been harmed.”

Thank the gods.

Attes inched closer. “You still haven’t closed this wound. It will not heal until you do.”

“Really haven’t had time.” In truth, I had completely forgotten about it.

“You need to close your wound.”

I stared at the ragged puncture wounds, feeling Nektas draw closer. There was so much blood on my arm, I had no idea who it actually belonged to.

“I swear to the Fates, Sera, if I have to force your mouth open to do so, I will,” Attes growled. “I’m giving you one more chance to do it yourself because Nyktos doesn’t need to return to see your wrist torn half-open.”

Nyktos.

Ash.

Hearing his name pierced my chest far more painfully than any arrow or dagger tonight. Gods, what would he think of me now? Would he still say that I was kind and loyal? That I thought of others before myself? That I wasn’t a monster? And the panic he must’ve felt while I fought Kolis… A shudder ran through me as I lifted my wrist and sealed the wounds.

“Thank you.” Attes thrust his hand through his hair and then dropped it. “Sera, I…” He briefly closed his eyes and then shook his head. “Nyktos will punch me three times more than last time for being in your bedchambers with you,” he joked, but the teasing didn’t reach his eyes or his tone. He exhaled heavily and then clasped the back of my neck. “I’m sorry, Sera. I’m so fucking sorry about everything.”

Everything.

I didn’t want to hear that because how could I apologize to all those who’d lost people they cared for today? I stepped away from him, my throat tightening.

“Kolis said none of this would’ve happened if I had given him Sotoria.”

Attes’s features tensed. “Sera—”

“You need to make sure she’s safe,” I said, my breath thi

Eather streaked across his eyes. “He will not have her.”

Nektas pushed open the balcony doors. He crossed the distance, his long hair streaming behind him.

“Meyaah Liessa.”

I flinched at the sound of his gravelly voice. Gods, I didn’t want to see him right now. I didn’t want to see anyone because I knew I needed to keep it together. Kolis could attack at any moment. I had to be ready while Ash dealt with all those souls—some of which I had sent his way. The next breath I took got stuck.

The draken’s gaze swept over me. The blue in his eyes turned luminous. “You’ve been injured.”

A strangled sort of laugh escaped me. He was worried about me? Me?

Nektas stopped in front of me and grabbed my right hand. The flesh there was still pink and raw. He leaned in, sniffing, and growled low in his throat. “You’re bleeding.”

“What?” Attes demanded. A moment later, I felt his hands ru

“I’m fine.” I pulled myself away from them.

Nektas’s eyes narrowed. “No, you’re not. You haven’t healed completely.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Worry filled Attes’s tone and stare. “Were you wounded by Ancient bone?”

“No. I don’t think so.” The room felt too small with them here. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Disagree,” Nektas stated.

My hands were trembling as I ran them down my face. “I am the last person either of you needs to worry about right now. Kolis—”

“Fuck Kolis,” snarled Nektas, his pupils contracted further into slits. “Attes, summon the Healer.”

“No!” I shouted, feeling the tenuous hold I had begi

“Attes.” Nektas ignored me. “Go—”

“Do you all know what I did? Why Ash is stuck at the Pillars? It wasn’t just Kolis. It was also me! I killed!” I screamed, my control completely snapping. I turned, finding Attes standing behind me. “I killed so many i

“Kyn killed more,” Attes said. “So did Embris. They did it on Kolis’s orders—”

“That doesn’t change what I did. I tried to fix it. I tried—” I stiffened, horrific images filling my head. Anger and sorrow pumped through me so intensely that, for a moment, I couldn’t breathe. In the distance, I heard another draken let out a series of staggered, anxious calls.

Images of the fire-lit hills and villages flashed before me, replacing those of my family. I saw the guards on Dalos’s Rise. The one who’d said he wouldn’t fight me. I saw Jove. I saw the Chosen huddled together in fear. The Priestess and all the destruction.

You murdered coldly and without thought or care. You’re no better than me.

“What did I do?” I whispered, my body shaking. “What have I become?”

Attes reached for me. “Sera—”

I pushed him away. The Primal stumbled back, and I doubled over, clutching my head. There were screams again, but this time, they were mine. My chest tightened. Nektas was speaking, but I couldn’t hear him. There were other voices now. I felt Nektas’s arms around my waist. I heard more draken as lightning flashed outside the balcony doors. I couldn’t breathe when I saw Jove. My entire body shook as I saw the limp babe in the Priestess’s arms. Ezra and Marisol. My mother. The ruined homes, broken streets, and leveled villages. The nameless, faceless lives I’d exchanged for those I’d brought back.

I was losing control again.

Breaking.

Pressure descended on my chest, and wind battered the walls, blowing open the balcony doors. I suddenly remembered what Veses had said when she came here. She’d warned me. She’d fucking warned me. Lights all along the wall flickered, and the bulbs burst. The bed rattled. I couldn’t calm myself. Couldn’t hold myself together like I knew I should. I couldn’t be stronger. Better. I didn’t even try.

I screamed.

I screamed until a hum filled every part of my being. My skin began to vibrate. Fire erupted along my flesh. Clothing tore. The sheath on my thigh snapped. My bones cracked and then fused back together as I shifted.

The nota took over.

The draken held me in his arms as I struggled, snapping and clawing at him. He didn’t let go, not even when I brought him to his knees. He held on, my claws scraping against the shadowstone, chipping the floor. I needed to be free. To run. To not think or feel.

“I’m not letting you go,” the draken grunted. I tried to throw my weight against him. “I’m sorry, Sera. I know you think that’s what you need right now, but it’s not safe.”

I growled, hissing and straining against him. I hurt. Outside. Inside. It was too much.

“Should I summon Kye?” a softer voice asked. “He could give her a sedative.”

“Is she still bleeding?” a deeper voice asked, carrying Primal power. My head snapped in his direction. I bared my fangs at the scarred Primal. His brows shot up.

“Either she is, or I am,” the draken said. “Actually, both of us are.”

“Then we don’t want to sedate her until we find out why she hasn’t healed completely.” The Primal watched me warily. “Plus, I’m half-afraid she’ll try to eat the Healer.”

“I think you need to be more worried about her eating you,” another voice came. I twisted my head to the far right, snarling at the auburn-haired god. “Please, do not let her go.”

“Trying not to.” The draken managed to work an arm under my chin, clamping my head against his chest. “I think it’s best if you leave.”

The clicking in the back of my throat grew into a roar.

“You sure about that?” the Primal asked.

“I have her under control,” the draken shouted, and I could smell the others’ doubt as I hissed at the Primal, feeling my fur rise. “Or she’ll tire herself out first. Either way, get the fuck out of here.”

The Primal nodded, taking the dark-ski

The draken cursed again. “And do not let Aios in here.”

I started to dig my back paws into the floor as the draken rolled his weight, pushing me down onto my belly. I didn’t like that. Neither…neither part of me did.

“Sera, listen to me,” the draken said, his head pressed against the back of my neck. “You need to get control of your nota. I’m not going to hurt you. You know that.”

I whined, trying to shake him off, but he didn’t budge an inch.

“Stop.” His arms tightened. “Stop and listen to me. I know you’re hurting. I know you’re in pain, and I know that’s not just the physical.”

I panted, trying to get my legs under me. I managed to lift myself about an inch.

“Fucking Fates, Sera,” the draken groaned. “At any other time, I’d find your strength impressive.”

The draken moved then, nearly lying completely on me. I grunted, going flat once more.

“Let’s try this again,” he said, shifting his head. A curtain of black and red hair fell over my face, tickling my whiskers. I opened my mouth. “You know—”

“Do not grab my hair, Sera. That would be rude,” he snapped.

I grabbed a mouthful of his hair and jerked. The draken swore, and for a moment, I thought I had him and twisted my head, preparing to shake him.

“You need to control your nota, Sera,” he growled. “If not for me, then for Ash.”

My muscles tensed as my jaw tightened around the thick strands of hair.