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“He was.”
I waited for him to continue. He didn’t. “Are you going to share why?”
“No.”
“All right, then.” I was too tired and stressed to play polite Queen and hostess. “You’re more than welcome to linger here for as long as you’d like, but please close the doors when you leave.” I started to turn.
“I was actually looking for you.”
I stopped. “For what? To complain about your lack of sleep?”
His chuckle was low and velvety. “I was.”
My already non-existent patience thi
“Deal with whatever troubles you.”
I drew back. “Excuse me?”
“Whatever plagues you upon waking follows you into your sleep and calls to me,” he stated, and I felt the blood drain from my face. “I can usually ignore it, but I was unprepared for the…intensity of such emotion. I need to stay awake to resist.” A strand of midnight hair slid against his cut jaw. “You see, when someone dreams vividly, it’s a siren’s call to an oneirou. It prods at our most basic instincts to feed. Not on blood, but on emotion.”
My stomach turned over, and my body flashed cold and then hot as eather stirred.
“The first night here, I was pulled into your dream.”
I inhaled sharply. “You did what?”
“Like you, it wasn’t intentional. It’s not easy for us to resist the call when we are asleep,” he continued. “I did not feed, nor did I linger.”
I didn’t even care about the feeding part because, dear gods, what had he seen? The golden bars flashed in my mind. “Am I supposed to thank you for that?”
“No. I’m just letting you know before you blast me into Arcadia.” He smiled. “Which you appear to be about to do.”
It was then that I realized I’d taken a step toward him, and my skin was likely starting to do that glowing thing it did. “I’m not going to blast you into Arcadia,” I said, forcing my hands to unclench. “Through the wall, though? That’s still up in the air.”
His smile spread then, revealing a hint of fang, but it quickly disappeared, taking with it the ever-present glint of devilment in his eyes. “I did not tell you this to upset or offend you. That is the very last thing I want to do.” Dark, thick lashes swept down. “What troubles you while awake will not give you peace in sleep, meyaah Liessa.”
It wasn’t like I didn’t already know that. “And I’m guessing your reasoning for telling me this is because you would like some restful sleep?”
“That’s not the sole reason, but yes, some restful sleep would be welcomed. I’m not a purely altruistic being.” His lashes lifted, and there it was again, that twinkle in his eyes. But once more, it disappeared. “When someone, especially a Primal, ca
Eather throbbed as my eyes locked onto him. I didn’t try to read him, but I knew. “That is how you got those scars.”
Thierran said nothing.
“You were in Kolis’s dreams, and he found out,” I said. “I can only imagine what you saw.”
“You likely know what he dreams about.”
“Sotoria?”
Thierran nodded. “He dreams about finding her and then losing her. Over and over.”
A savage sense of satisfaction filled me. “Good.”
“I agree. The only downside was that he believed I was responsible for such.”
“Were you?”
Thierran’s chin dipped, and that glimmer returned to his eyes. “Not then.”
An idea occurred to me. “Exactly how much damage can you do with another’s emotions?”
“For example? I could take all the hate one feels for another and turn it back on them. Let it consume them,” he said. “But if I can get my hands on someone, I can do much more.”
“Like what?”
“I can put someone into a waking nightmare.”
“Even a Primal—an old and powerful one?” I asked. Ash had said as much, but I wanted to hear Thierran say it.
“Even one of them.” He glanced at me. “What are you thinking?”
“Would you like to get into Kolis’s head?”
Thierran smiled. “I would love nothing more.”
“Good,” I murmured, filing that piece of information away as awareness suddenly coursed through me. My gaze flew toward the doors as I felt Ash draw near. It wasn’t the same as being alerted by another Primal’s presence. I was once again amazed by how some i
A mixture of anticipation and nervousness swelled inside me, and I wanted to run toward the doors at the same time I wanted to hide. What I did was stand there, hands clasped. I saw the moment Thierran felt him. The oneirou stepped back, and his gaze went to the doors.
The stagnant air of the library shifted ahead of Ash, coming alive in the seconds before he appeared in the doorway.
My breath caught at the sight of him. I was immediately reminded of the night of my coronation. The curve of his hard jaw was the same. The lines of his features just as striking. His hair was free, brushing his dark gray tunic. Silver scrollwork lined the collar and cut diagonally across his broad chest. Leather pants the same hue as the tunic molded to his body. The cuff on his upper arm glinted despite the dim lighting.
Ash nodded in Thierran’s direction. “I would like to speak with my wife,” he said, and my heart did a hundred different silly things, including plummeting to my toes when he added, “Alone.”
Thierran skedaddled right out of the library without another word. He clearly sensed the tension, which meant there was definitely tension.
My legs felt numb as the doors swung shut behind Thierran, closing quietly.
“I’m surprised to find you in here,” he said, his attention fastened on the portraits. “With Thierran.”
“You and me both.” I smoothed my hands over my hips. “He was walking by and saw me in here. Apparently, he was curious about what this chamber was.”
Ash stopped beside me, his hands clasped behind his back. “I can only imagine what kind of conversation took place.”
I really hoped he couldn’t, at least when it came to what Thierran said before Ash arrived. “We actually talked about your mother. I didn’t know she was oneirou.”
“Half oneirou,” he corrected.
“It surprised me initially, but it makes sense—your abilities and all.” I looked up at her painting. “He said your mother wasn’t someone to mess with.”
“She could affect other’s emotions,” he confirmed. “Though my father said it was rare that she did so. She felt the same way about it as you do with compulsion.” He was quiet for a moment. “What drew you to the library? This space is usually empty.”
Everyone seemed to avoid this room, likely due to the sadness Thierran had spoken of. Except for today. “It’s quiet.”
“That it is.”
I stared up at his unreadable profile. There wasn’t any coldness to his voice, but his tone was nearly the same as it had been after I found Veses feeding on him and demanded to be set free once Kolis was taken care of. He sounded…closed off. Like a wall had been erected.
My stomach hollowed, and I quickly looked away from him. Or was it my imagination? My fears that, despite what he’d said to me in the early morning hours, he wouldn’t look at me the same. My gaze inched back to him. But that didn’t make sense. Ash had known. He’d always known. And I’d just been over here pretending he didn’t.
But I hadn’t seen him all afternoon or evening, and that wasn’t like him. Not anymore. And I…
I wanted to ask if he was upset, but the words wouldn’t come to my tongue. I just wanted him to look at me.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“A little sore. I mean, my muscles,” I quickly amended, the back of my throat burning. “From all the ru
“Your nota appears to love doing so,” he remarked.
I nodded, staring at the golden swirl on the top of my hand. “Will it always be like that? Ru
“Likely not. The first time is always intense and driven by animal instinct.”
“I didn’t realize ru
“I suppose we should be glad it wasn’t.”
My lips quirked at that. “Yeah. That could’ve been a problem.”
There was a beat of silence. “I didn’t think you’d be able to shift so soon,” he said. “Either way, I wish your first time in your nota form was different. I wanted it to be a good experience for you.”
“It was.” I looked up. Silvery eyes locked with mine, and my heart started pounding. “I mean, it wasn’t bad. It was kind of freeing. Even the ru
Wisps of eather appeared in his eyes. “About?”
“Anything. My mind was quiet,” I admitted. “It’s never quiet.” I cleared my throat. “Anyway, I saw Bele and Aios a little bit ago. I’m surprised they didn’t know I shifted last night. I would’ve thought the guards would have said something.”
“The guards saw nothing out of the ordinary last night.”
“Uh…”
“That is if they wish to keep their eyes and tongues,” he added.
My mouth dropped open. “You threatened them to keep silent.”
“I would never,” he murmured.
“Ash,” I said, my brows lifting. “There really wasn’t any reason to do that. What bad things could they have said about seeing me in my nota form?”
“Nothing,” he said. “But if they talked, and those they told talked, you would hear about it. I know we haven’t had much time with each other, but I know how your mind works.” He paused. “Mostly. But in this case, you would’ve worried that others were speaking about what they saw last night. You would begin thinking they somehow knew what caused it.”
“That’s not…” My lips pursed. “Okay. You’re completely right.”
Ash smirked, looking back at the paintings.
“Thank you.”
“Not necessary.” He tipped up his chin.
But it was.
It was sweet and thoughtful of him to ensure that no one spoke about my wild run through the courtyard and beyond. I probably shouldn’t think him threatening others was sweet, but he was protecting me, even if just from words and speculation.
And gods, that made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of him—not in a self-deprecating way, but in how it made me want to be better in every way.
And I knew how to start.
I’d always known.
Taking a deep breath, I looked up at him. I needed to talk to him. Ash watched me, the glow of eather vivid behind his pupils.