Born of Blood and Ash

The tension in my muscles that accompanied each swing of the sword and even the impact of the blades meeting felt so damn good. I broke a sweat but didn’t tire as I had before I Ascended. Not even after switching off with Bele, who managed to knock me on my ass. It had taken hours for me to tap out. Never in my life had I trained for that long.

Holland, wherever he was, would be proud.

We’d spent the evening with the Shadowlands gods, discussing battle strategy in case things went south and a full-scale war broke out. Where we would attack first, if we would. The best way to lay siege to Dalos. It wasn’t an easy conversation to have without knowing who our allies or enemies were.

I hated the fucking eirini.

With each passing day, it was getting harder not to think like Bele. To call for a meeting and reject Kolis’s offer.

But that wouldn’t be wise. It’d be reckless and a slew of other bad things. As much as I loathed the eirini, it gave us time to prepare the tomb beneath Oak Ambler.

It gave us time.

Gods, I should be asleep instead of staring at the ceiling.

At least I wasn’t staring at Ash like a creeper.

My mind wouldn’t shut down, alternating between, well…everything. Would Kolis wait out the eirini? How would he respond once I summoned the Primals? What about the prophecy? Then there was the confusing storm of conflicting emotions that had reared its head once more this evening when I fed from Ash, and he’d declined my offer. I’d felt relief and disappointment at the same time. Then shame. That still scalded each breath I took.

And if I wasn’t thinking about all of that, it was what Attes had confirmed about Sotoria when I saw him last and how desperate she must have been to ask such a thing of Eythos.

And how hard it had to be for Eythos to carry out her request.

It also made me think about how close I had come to the very same thing but for vastly different reasons—and by my own hand. Had Sotoria’s soul been aware of what I had done when I took too much of the sleeping aid? I didn’t think so, and I was grateful for that.

I didn’t want to dwell on Sotoria. It made me so godsdamn sad. And thinking about Sotoria—what was expected of her—made me angry. Obviously, we needed her to be reborn if we hoped to kill Kolis. None of the Primals were powerful enough to do it—at least not now. Maybe one day. But even if we succeeded in entombing Kolis, there would always be a risk to Sotoria.

I eventually shifted my thoughts to the reason behind spending the day training with mortal weapons. Not only was it important to keep those reflexes honed, but fighting with the essence against another Primal could spell disaster for the mortal realm. Still, there would be times when using the Primal essence was inevitable—when violence fueled the will behind it.

But there had been an impact when I’d used the eather against Kolis, and I worried about how that had played out in the mortal realm. What would the repercussions of anything that happened from here on out be?

I worried about my family.

And something else also occupied the back of my mind as I watched the silvery glow of starlight ripple across the ceiling. It was a feeling that I was supposed to remember something.

Something really important.

I searched my thoughts. They raced and came together like run-on sentences. I ended up back on the prophecy. Frustrated, I blew out an aggravated breath.

“Liessa,” Ash murmured, his sleep-roughened voice startling me. “Why are you not asleep?”

My lips pursed. “I am sleeping.”

His chuckle was low and throaty. “Want to try answering that again?”

I crossed my arms over the soft, knit blanket. “I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

“Everything.”

“I’m not sure it’s possible to think about everything.”

“My brain would like to disagree with that assumption.” I tilted my head to the side. In the darkness, I could see that his eyes were closed. “And how did you know I was awake?”

“I just did.”

My brows rose. “Care to elaborate?”

“I can’t explain it better than that.” He brushed several strands of hair back from his face. “I just knew you were awake, so I woke up.”

“That’s…different.”

“Is it?” The bed shifted as Ash rolled onto his side to face me. “Want to tell me what one of those things you were thinking about was?”

I started to tell him but stopped. “It’s not important enough to keep you awake.”

“Now I’m the one who gets to disagree.” Ash’s arm came around my waist. “If it’s important enough to keep you awake, it’s important enough for me to know.”

Gods.

That statement wasn’t just sweet. It was perfect.

“Liessa?”

Drawing in a shallow breath, I plucked out what felt most important at the moment. It likely wasn’t, but it mattered to me. “If we ca

“A lot of energy is created when Primals fight, which builds up in the area,” he answered instead of asking why I had been thinking of that in the middle of the night. “It disperses, spreading throughout the realms. Just using the eather in the mortal realm can have an impact, depending on how much is expended.” His cold hand moved over the blanket and across my hand in smooth, slow circles. “Iliseeum is heavily warded and has been since the time of the Ancients. Those wards are tied to the Primal of each Court. As long as the Primal remains standing, the Courts are mostly protected, but the area where the Primals fight will sustain damage.”

“Like in Dalos,” I said, remembering how both fights had cracked walls and leveled trees. “And the mortal realm?” I knew the answer. I knew the answers to all of these questions. “It can manifest in several ways.”

“The release of energy, if big enough, can create tsunamis, earthquakes, and violent storms,” he said. “The severity depends on how intense the fight is. If a Primal falls without another being able to rise? You’re looking at all of those things but amplified.”

“Gods.” The muscles in my neck tightened. “Where would the impact hit? Across all the kingdoms?”

His hand stilled briefly. “Your foresight didn’t tell you what would happen?”

“No,” I whispered. There was nothing but silence then. My throat dried. “I don’t know why. It has nothing to do with me or the Fates unless…”

Ash was silent for a moment. “Unless it does.”

I closed my eyes. “Meaning it will happen.”

“We don’t know that.” Ash’s hand began to move again. “Remember what Holland said about threads. There is more than one way things can play out.”

I knew that, but the fact that it was even a possibility horrified me. As did the knowledge that every decision, action, reaction, and inaction, no matter how small, could drastically change things.

“Nothing is set in stone, liessa.” His lips brushed my temple. “We are proof of that. Don’t forget.”

“I won’t, but there is still a chance. And I want to warn Ezra. Because even if we prevent a war…” I didn’t need to finish. Ash knew there would be a fight, no matter what. “Lasania is a coastal kingdom.”

“You’re the true Primal of Life.” Ash’s leg curled under the blankets. The short, rough hairs of his leg tickled mine. “If you wish to warn the mortal realm, you can.”

“I know, but I want your advice,” I told him. “Being in a position to make these kinds of decisions is new to me. And even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t—I don’t—want to be the only one deciding. Especially since my desire comes from a purely emotional place. Plus, even though warning them feels right, what if it causes u

“I think that is a risk, but you have to weigh that against what you already know. There will be disruption to the mortals’ lives,” he said. “I think it’s fine to warn them.”

Relieved that he thought so, some of the tightness eased from my muscles. “When do you want to do it?”

“When do you want to do it?” he countered.

“Tomorrow?”

Laughing under his breath, he pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Then do it.”

Excitement filled me, and it kind of felt wrong to feel that, considering what message I had to share. But I would get to see Ezra and maybe even my mother.

“But,” Ash added, and my anticipation wilted, “we both ca

I pressed my lips together. “That makes sense, especially considering what happened the last time we returned from the mortal realm.”

Ash stiffened against me. “That’s not going to happen again.”

I wanted to believe that, but the mere fact that we both couldn’t leave said differently.

“I don’t want you to go anywhere without me. And yeah, I know how that sounds, and I don’t care.” Ash relaxed a little against me. “I’m going to be…”

I knew how it would be for him while I was gone. He’d be sick with worry, as would I.

And the fact that he didn’t want me to go without him didn’t bother me. It didn’t come across as overbearing or overprotective because I knew he had a real reason to be concerned, but I also knew he wouldn’t prevent me from going.

“I know you can take care of yourself, but I want Nektas to go with you.” He paused. “And I will ask Attes to be here while you’re in the mortal realm, just in case.”

Just in case things went sideways, which was always possible. “Okay.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem unless it becomes a problem. Meaning Nektas will do anything and everything to protect you, including taking on his true form.”

My brows lifted as I imagined everyone’s reaction to seeing a draken. Or tried to. It would be pure chaos. A tiny, evil part of me wanted to see that.

I shook my head at myself. “I understand. I won’t be gone long. I promise.”

“I know.” His lips touched the corner of mine, and they felt colder than they had earlier. “Anything else on your mind?”

“No,” I lied.

“Then you’re going to sleep?”

I nodded.

His lips found mine for a quick kiss. “Good night, liessa.”

“Good night,” I murmured.

Ash settled beside me, the slow, comforting circles of his hand slowing and then stopping altogether after a few moments. I concentrated on where our skin met. His leg felt colder, didn’t it? So did where his chest met my shoulder.

My heart kicked around in my chest. He’d given me so much blood since I’d awakened. My throat dried as anxiety rose, but I pushed past it. He needed to feed, and I needed to provide for him. “Ash.”

“If you’re saying my name, you can’t be sleeping.”

“I haven’t fallen asleep yet.”

“No shit,” he replied dryly.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not a guy. I can’t close my eyes and fall asleep in five seconds.”