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“Not really. I was too busy recognizing the resemblance between her and her cousin Elspeth.”
“She wasn’t really that bad,” Carolyn said thoughtfully. “She didn’t hurt Archie, except for cutting his whiskers, and that’s a far cry from mutilating him. And the closer she and I got, the more reassuring the Nazi became over the phone, until there was a point where I pretty much stopped worrying about the cat. You know something? When we got back to the apartment and the cat was there, I think she was as relieved as I was.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised.”
She sipped her drink. “ Bern? How’d she get past my locks?”
“She didn’t.”
“Huh?”
“Your cats liked her, remember? Especially Archie. She went through another building into the courtyard and coaxed him through the bars of the window. A person couldn’t get in, but a cat could get out. That’s one reason there were no traces of her visit inside the apartment. She never went inside the apartment except when she was with you. She didn’t have to. The cat walked right out into her arms.”
“When did you dope that out?”
“When I saw Ubi measuring the distance between the bars with his whiskers. They fit, which meant his head would fit, which meant his whole body would fit, and I knew that’s how it was done. Which meant it had to be done by somebody the cat liked, and you told me early on how much the cat liked Alison.”
“Yeah, animals are great judges of character. Bernie, were you go
“Well-”
“Either you were or you weren’t.”
“Well, I wasn’t sure. You seemed to be having a good time with Alison and I figured I’d let the relationship run its course before I said anything.”
“I think it’s run its course.” She knocked back the rest of her drink and sighed philosophically. “Listen, I got my cat back,” she said, “and I had a little excitement, and Alison was a big help at the Hewlett. I don’t know if I could have managed the firecracker and the fire and everything without her. And I got laid, so why should I hold a grudge?”
“That’s about how I felt about Andrea.”
“Plus I might want to see her again.”
“That’s exactly how I felt about Andrea.”
“Right. So I came out of it okay.”
“Don’t forget the reward.”
“Huh?”
“From the insurance company. The $35,000. Ray’s getting half of what’s left after Wally takes his fee, and the rest gets cut up between you and Denise.”
“Why?”
“Because you both worked for it. Denise labored like Michelangelo on the Sistine Chapel, and you risked arrest at the Hewlett, and for that you get rewarded.”
“What about you, Bern?”
“I’ve got Appling’s stamps, remember? And his wife’s ruby earrings, except I don’t think they’re rubies. I think they’re spinels. And it’s fu
“I forgot about the stamps.”
“Well, I’m going to sell them,” I said, “and then we can all forget about them.”
“Good idea.” Her fingers drummed the tabletop. “You stole those stamps before any of this happened,” she said. “Well, almost. While you were breaking into Appling’s apartment, Barlow was murdering Onderdonk. That gives me a chill to think about.”
“Me too, when you put it that way.”
“But most of what happened came after you took the stamps, and you didn’t get anything for that part of it. You just spent a lot of money and had to post bond.”
“I’ll get the bond back. I’ll have paid a fee to the bondsman, but that’s no big deal. Wally won’t charge me anything, not with all the business I threw his way. And I had a few incidental expenses, from cab rides to the icepick I planted in Jacobi’s room.”
“And the chloral hydrate you planted in Onderdonk’s apartment.”
“That wasn’t chloral hydrate. That was talcum powder.”
“The cop said it tasted like chloral hydrate.”
“And Ray said there was a voiceprint record of Jacobi’s telephone tip, and that there was blood on the icepick. This may come as a shock, Carolyn, but cops have been known to tell lies.”
“It’s a shock, all right. Anyway, you had expenses, and all you get is your freedom.”
“So?”
“So don’t you want part of the reward? Thirty-five thousand less Wally’s fee’ll be what? Thirty thousand?”
“Call it that. I don’t know if he’ll dare grab off that much, but lawyers are hard to figure.”
“Thirty grand less half to Ray leaves fifteen, and if we cut that three ways it’s five apiece, and that’s plenty. Why don’t you take a third, Bern?”
I shook my head. “I got the stamps,” I said, “and that’s plenty. And I got something else, too.”
“What? A shot at Andrea and a shot at Eve DeGrasse? Big deal.”
“Something else.”
“What?”
“I’ll give you a hint,” I said. “It’s all right angles and primary colors, and I’m going to hang it over my couch. I think that’s the best place for it.”
“Bernie!”
“I told you,” I said. “The Mondrian’s with its rightful owner. And who do you know who’s got a better right to it?”
And I’ll tell you something. It looks gorgeous there.
About the Author
A Mystery Writers of America Grand Master, LAWRENCE BLOCK is a four-time wi