Me Tanner, You Jane

Her eyes met mine, her beautiful empty eyes, and I watched as her eyes changed. Jane turned off and Sheena turned on, and her eyes probed mine, and she saw me as she had not seen me before. “White devil!” she shrilled, and leaped at me, hands out, fingers curled like hooks, nails flashing in the candlelight.

I hauled off and hit her in the head.

I found Plum at the river’s edge. She was wrestling the long dugout canoes out into the water and sending them off downstream. This, we had determined, was the only way to render them hors de combat – chopping or burning through the thick sides and bottom would take forever, and they might float anyway. I gave Plum a hand, and we maneuvered them one at a time into the river and out of the picture.

“The first heat’s over,” I told her. “Half of the clowns have knocked the other half out. I got a close look at a couple of them, and I don’t think they’re pulling their punches. Some of the losers looked awfully dead.”

“And now?”

“Now the wi

“He told me that he welcomes the chance to match himself against the best of them. That he fears no man.”

“Well, he’s got an ego big as all outdoors. If his devotion to Knanda Ndoro’s not an act, then the Retriever was the only man alive Bowman ever respected.”

“You do not like him.”

“Not too much, no.” He had bugged me during the pla

“We could leave now, Evan.”

“Without him?”

She nodded. “We could take the last boat and just go. It would be easy for us. And he could get away by himself. I do not think he could catch us, not without a boat, and I do not think he would even try. Perhaps he would stay here with Sheena and her filthy killers. He was happy with them before. Perhaps it is the best life for him.”

“I guess you aren’t crazy about him, either.”

“He always puts his hands on me. And makes remarks about my color. He is really enthusiastic about my color. Are there no girls of mixed blood in America?”

“There are thousands of them.”

“Then why does he find me so exotic?”

“Consider it a tribute to your beauty.”

“I do not wish such tributes. I have not told you this before, but you look ridiculous with your skin darkened. And with that horrid paint on yourself.”

“You don’t look so splendid, either.”

“I do not feel splendid. Can we leave him, Evan? He causes me to feel dirty inside. Please?”

“No. No, we can’t.”

“I thought you would say that.”

We managed to heave another canoe into the water and send it on its way. Plum wanted to know what happened with Sheena. I gave her an expurgated version. She was fascinated when I told her about the emergence of Baby Jane.

“She is how old, Evan? Ten? You see, it is even worse now than before. I am fourteen, and that is bad enough, but now you have made love with a ten-year-old.”

“Cut it out.”

“You must be ashamed of yourself.”

“Dammit, Plum -”

“But perhaps it is all right because you are married to her, Evan.” She giggled merrily. “Now you must not make love to me any more. I am not the sort who would have relations with a married man.”

“That’s fine with me.”

She tossed her head. “I will have to content myself with Sam.”

“You stay away from-”

“Oh? You are suddenly jealous?”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You have only my best interests at heart.”

“Right the first time.”

“Perhaps I could consider adultery after all-”

All but one of the boats was afloat now. I pulled myself up onto the bank and shook off the excess water. “Some other time,” I told her. “You wait here. I have to see how Bowman’s coming along.”

“It would be easy to leave now, Evan. Without him.”

“I know,” I said, and headed back to camp.

Bowman was beautiful to watch. I found someone’s abandoned machete and sat in the shadows with it, waiting for him to need help. He never did. He just kept hanging in there, letting the troops decrease from fifty to twenty-five to thirteen to seven to four, and while two men were joined in brief combat he worked his way around among the fallen. Whenever one of them threatened to regain consciousness, he would wait until all eyes were riveted on the combatants before moving to apply a kick or chop to some vital center. When the four were narrowed down to two, he stood them next to one another, stepped alongside of them, and knocked their heads together. I had heard of knocking two clowns’ heads together often enough, but this was the first time I had actually seen anyone do it. After such a display of advanced judo technique there was something shocking about such a primitive act as this. But you couldn’t fault it for effectiveness. There was a marvelous clunking sound and that was it. They fell, and stayed put.

He had his back to me when he finished. I stood up and took a step forward, and he spun around to face me, moving at the speed, I would guess, of light. I was holding onto the machete, but I realized instinctively that the sight of it would not stop him from flinging himself at me, nor would the use of it do much more than slow him down a fraction. I shouted out that I was me, and his hands dropped to his sides even as his face relaxed in the now-familiar grin.

He said, “Shee-it, Ta

“I caught the last act.”

“Like cracking coconuts. I told you there’d be nothing to it. Once you get people trustin’ you, ain’t a whole lot you can’t get by with.”

“True enough.”

“You make out good with the Queen of the Jungle?”

“Something strange happened.”

“Lady Jane?”

“Oh. She’s made that trip before?”

“Every time, man. Sends me up the wall.”

“You might have told me.”

“And ruin the surprise?” He slapped me on the back, which was something I would have just as soon he hadn’t bothered doing. “I just figured you might like findin’ out about it all by yourself. First time she tried that on I went bonkers, baby. I bet you heard all about Mommy and Daddy and Uncle Bobby.”

“I bet I did.”

“Lady Jane came by that taste for dark meat honest-like. Inherited it from her old lady. You put her out?”

“Yes.”

“Kill her?”

“Of course not.”

“Just that I was thinkin’ you maybe should. She plays mean, you know. The way she gets on with these bush types, she’ll have fifty fresh men in colors by daybreak. I wouldn’t want to meet up with her again.”

“Just kill her,” I said.

“Easiest way.”

“Just like that.”

He clapped me on the shoulder again. Plum had a point, I thought; he would be a real pleasure to abandon. He said, “You gettin’ butterflies, Ta

“No.”

“If you want.”

“No,” I said. “No, go down by the river, give Plum a hand.” An unfortunate choice of words, that. “I’ll be along.”

I was panting by the time I reached the riverbank. I got to where the boat was beached and my knees started to buckle, but I stayed on my feet.

Plum and Sam were looking at me as though I had lost my mind.

“Ta

“Evan-”

“Not now,” I said. “I can’t talk. I can barely breathe. Later.”

“But-”

“Later.”

I put Sheena in the back of the dugout and arranged her animal skins over her. Then I straightened up again and tried to catch my breath.

Bowman was scratching his head. Plum was shaking hers. I couldn’t honestly blame them, but I was damned if I felt like talking about it.