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Keller didn’t know what to make of it. She’d seemed relieved to see him, so what was the gun for? To shoot him? Or was she expecting somebody else, against whom she felt the need to defend herself?
And should he take a step toward her and swat the gun out of her hand? That would probably work, but if it didn’t…
“I guess you saw the ad,” she said.
The ad? What ad?
“‘Paul Niebauer, Please Get in Touch.’ On the front page of the New York Times, one of those tiny ads at the very bottom of the page. I always wondered if anybody read those ads. But you didn’t, I can see by the look on your face. How did you know to come here?”
How indeed? “I just had a feeling,” he said.
“Well, I’m glad you did. I didn’t know how else to reach you, because I didn’t want to go through the usual cha
“The gun,” he said.
She looked at him.
“You’re holding a gun,” he said.
“Oh,” she said, and looked at her hand, as if surprised to discover a gun in it. “That’s for you,” she said, and before he could react she handed the thing to him. He didn’t want it, but neither did he want her to have it. So he took it, noting that it was a.38, and a loaded one at that.
“What’s this for?” he asked.
She didn’t exactly answer. “It belongs to my husband,” she said. “It’s registered. He has a permit to keep it on the premises, and that’s what he does. He keeps it in the drawer of his bedside table. For burglars, he says.”
“I don’t really think it would be useful to me,” he said. “Since it’s registered to your husband, it would lead right back to you, which is the last thing we’d want, and-”
“You don’t understand.”
“Oh.”
“This isn’t for Fluffy.”
“It’s not?”
“No,” she said. “I don’t really care about Fluffy. Killing Fluffy won’t bring Rilke back. And it’s not so bad with Rilke gone, anyway. He was a beautiful dog, but he was really pretty stupid, and it was a pain in the ass having to walk him twice a day.”
“Oh.”
“So the gun has nothing to do with Fluffy,” she explained. “The gun’s for you to use when you kill my husband.”
“Damnedest thing I ever heard of,” Dot said. “And that covers a lot of ground. Well, she’d said her husband was ru
“With his own gun.”
“Suicide?”
“Murder-suicide.”
“Where does the murder come in?”
“I’m supposed to stage it,” he said, “so that it looks as though he shot the woman he was having an affair with, then turned the gun on himself.”
“The woman he’s having the affair with.”
“Right.”
“Don’t tell me, Keller.”
“Okay.”
“Keller, that’s an expression. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to know. But I have a feeling I know already. Am I right, Keller?”
“Uh-huh.”
“It’s her, isn’t it? Myra Ta
“Just Ta
“Whatever. They both fly you in from the Windy City to kill a dog, and now neither one really gives a hoot in hell about the dog, and each one wants you to kill the other. How much did this one give you?”
“Forty-two thousand dollars.”
“Forty-two thousand dollars? How did she happen to arrive at that particular number, do you happen to know?”
“It’s what she got for her jewelry.”
“She sold her jewelry so she could get her husband killed? I suppose it’s jewelry her husband gave her in the first place, don’t you think? Keller, this is begi
“She was going to give me the jewelry,” he said, “since it was actually worth quite a bit more than she got for it, but she figured I’d rather have the cash.”
“Amazing. She actually got something right. Didn’t you tell me Myra Ta
“That’s what she told me, but it may have been a lie.”
“Oh.”
“Or maybe each of them is having an affair with the other’s husband. It’s hard to say for sure.”
“Oh.”
“I didn’t know what to do, Dot.”
“Keller, neither of us has known what to do from the jump. I assume you took the money.”
“And the gun.”
“And now you still don’t know what to do.”
“As far as I can see, there’s only one thing I can do.”
“Oh,” she said. “Well, in that case, I guess you’ll just have to go ahead and do it.”
Myra Ta
He waited, and rang a second time, and followed it up with a knock. Finally he heard footsteps, and then the sound of the cover of the peephole being drawn back. “I can’t see anything,” Myra Ta
He wasn’t surprised; he’d covered the peephole with his palm. “It’s me,” he said. “The man you sat next to in the park.”
“Oh?”
“I’d better come in.”
There was a pause. “I’m not alone,” she said at length.
“I know.”
“But…”
“We’ve got a real problem here,” he said, “and it’s going to get a lot worse if you don’t open the door.”
30
It was almost three when he picked up the phone. He wasn’t sure how good an idea it was to use the Ta
Evelyn Augenblick answered on the first ring.
“Paul,” he said. “Across the street.”
“Oh, God.”
“I think you should come over here.”
“Are you sure?”
“It’s all taken care of,” he said, “but there are some things I really need your input on.”
“Oh.”
“You don’t have to look at anything, if you don’t want to.”
“It’s done?”
“It’s done.”
“And they’re both…”
“Yes, both of them.”
“Oh, good,” she said. “I’ll be right over. But you’ve got the key.”
“Ring the bell,” he said. “I’ll buzz you in.”
It didn’t take her long. Time passed slowly in the Ta
“Oh, this is perfect,” she said. “ Myra ’s in her nightgown, sprawled on her back, with two bulletholes in her chest. And George-he’s barefoot, and wearing his pants but no shirt. The gun’s still in his hand. What did you do, stick the gun in his mouth and pull the trigger? That’s wonderful, it blew the whole back of his head off.”
“Well, not quite, but-”
“But close enough. God, you really did it. They’re both gone, I’ll never have to look at either one of them again. And this is the way I get to remember them, and that’s just perfect. You’re a genius for thinking of this, getting me to see them like this. But…”
“But what?”
“Well, I’m not complaining, but why did you want me to come over here?”
“I thought it might be exciting.”
“It is, but-”
“I thought maybe you could take off all your clothes.”
Her jaw dropped. “My God,” she said, “and here I thought I was kinky. Paul, I never even thought you were interested.”
“Well, I am now.”
“So it’s exciting for you, too. And you want me to take my clothes off? Well, why not?”
She made a rather elaborate striptease of it, which was a waste of time as far as he was concerned, but it didn’t take her too long. When she was naked he picked up her husband’s gun, muffled it with the same throw pillow he’d used earlier, and shot her twice in the chest. Then he put the gun back in her husband’s hand and got out of there.