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"No, I don't want you to tell me about it. I'm telling you to tell me about it because that's how this friendship thing is supposed to work. I hear. So." She dug for more ice cream with one hand, waved a go-ahead with the other.
"That's so nice of you." Peabody got misty again, and soothed herself with non-dairy whipped topping. "We were in one of the maintenance closets, sort of fooling around, and – "
Mouth full, Eve held up a hand, swallowed. "Excuse me, you and Detective McNab were engaged in some sexual activity on departmental property, while on duty?"
Peabody pokered up. "I'm not going to tell you if you're going to start citing regulations. Anyway, we hadn't gotten to the actual sex part yet. We were fooling around."
"Oh, well then. That's different. Cops are always fooling around in maintenance closets. Jesus, Peabody." She shut her eyes, shoveled in more fudge, breathed out. "Okay, I'm over it. Move on."
"I don't know what it is. There's this thing, this primal sort of thing."
"Oh. Ick."
Maybe it was having kick-ass Dallas say "ick," maybe it was the pained way it was said, but the response made Peabody grin and didn't bruise her feelings a bit. "I would've thought so myself until we did it. The first time was in an elevator."
"Peabody, I'm trying here. But do we have to go back that far and discuss you and McNab doing it? It puts really weird pictures in my head."
"Well, it all sort of goes together. Anyway, it's not like I'm thinking about sex with him all the time, or even the fooling around part, but then something happens and we're just, you know, doing it again. So we were fooling around…" she continued quickly, afraid of losing her audience.
"In the maintenance closet."
"Right, and Charles called on my 'link. About the case. I was getting the information from him and stuff, and when I was finished, McNab got really ugly." She filled her mouth with banana and cream and gooey caramel sauce. "He yelled at me and was like, 'What do you take me for?' And he said nasty things about Charles, who was just doing me a favor, and in an official capacity. Then he grabbed me."
"He got physical with you?"
"Yes. Well, no, not really. But he looked like he wanted to punch me. And you know what he said?" She wagged her spoon, heating up again. "You know what he said?"
"I wasn't there, remember?"
"He said he was sick and tired of playing backup fuck to a hired dick." She stabbed her spoon back into the rapidly dwindling banana boat surprise. "He said that to my face. And how I wasn't going to be popping out of his bed and into Charles's."
"I thought you weren't having sex with Charles."
"I'm not. That's beside the point."
Actually, Eve thought it was the point, then remembered her role. "McNab's an asshole."
"Damn straight."
"I don't suppose you told him you and Charles weren't doing it?"
"Hell no."
Eve nodded. "I don't guess I would have either. I'd have been too pissed off. What did you say?"
"I said how we weren't exclusive and I could see anybody I wanted, and so could he. Then, then, the bastard makes a date with some bimbo."
Since that seemed perfectly reasonable, Eve dug deep for something supportive to say. "Pig."
"I'm never speaking to him again."
"You work together."
"Okay, I'm never speaking to him again except in an official capacity. I hope he gets a suspicious rash on his gonads."
"That's a happy thought."
They pondered it and ate more ice cream.
"Peabody." Eve had a feeling she was going to hate this part of the whole support thing the most. "I'm not good at this relationship business."
"How can you say that? You and Roarke are like, perfect."
"No, nobody's perfect. We're making it work. Actually, he's done most of the work on that, but I'm sort of catching up. He's the only man I've ever had a real relationship with."
Peabody's eyes popped. "No kidding?"
Yep, Eve thought. Quicksand. "Okay, we're not getting into all that, I'm just saying this isn't my field. But if I stand back and look at this like a case, we've got three players. You, McNab, Charles." She outlined a triangle with her spoon in what was left of her sundae. "You're the co
"Nuh-uh, he was just being a pig."
"His classification as pig is verified. However… Peabody, you're dating Charles, right?"
"Sort of."
"You're having sex with McNab."
"Was."
"McNab assumes you're having sex with Charles." She held up her finger before Peabody could speak. "It's a wrong assumption, and it's probably stupid of him not to just ask you what's up. And even if you were sleeping with Charles you're a free agent, but, this is his assumption. You." She tapped the tip of her spoon on one point of the triangle. "Sex. Both guys. So there you are playing where's the soy sausage in the closet, then you break it off with one guy to talk on the 'link with the other."
"It was police business."
"I bet you weren't in full uniform, but regardless, McNab's there, all hot and worked up and suddenly you're talking to his competition. Knowing Charles, he didn't stick to just giving you data. He flirted. So while you're talking to Charles, McNab's growing fangs. I'm not saying he's not a moron. Obviously, he's a moron. But, well, even moronic pigs have feelings. Probably."
Peabody sat back. "You think it's my fault."
"No, I think it's Roarke's fault." At Peabody's blank look, Eve shook her head. "Never mind that. It's not a fault thing. Look, you start a personal deal with a guy you work with, there's going to be trouble. I don't think he's got any right to tell you who you can see or sleep with or whatever. But I don't think it's real smart to push his face in it either. I figure you both screwed up."
Peabody considered. "But he screwed up more."
"Absolutely."
"Okay. Okay," she repeated after a moment's thought. "I guess you're right about the triangle stuff and the reaction business. But, he's the one who jumped right on some redhead, so if McNab thinks I'm going to get whacked out because he managed to talk some stupid female into going out with him, he's more stupid than he looks."
"That's the spirit."
"Thanks, Dallas. I feel a lot better."
Eve stared into her empty dish, put a hand on her uneasy and overfull stomach. "Glad one of us does."
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The one good thing about setting the meet at the Blue Squirrel after an ice-cream binge was Eve wouldn't be tempted to actually eat or drink anything in the club.
Club was a lofty word for a joint like the Squirrel, where the best thing that could be said about the music was that it was there and it was loud. As far as the menu, the only positive recommendation Eve could make was that, as far as she knew, no one had died from eating the food.
There was no reliable data on hospitalizations.
Still, even this early in the evening, the place was jammed. Spool-sized tables were crowded with orders from the after-office crowd who liked to live dangerously. The band consisted of two men wearing neon body paint and towering blue hair who appeared to be howling about bleeding for love while they pounded with long rubber sticks on dueling keyboards.
The crowd howled right back.
That was one of the things Eve loved about the Squirrel.
Since she wanted a table in the back, she pushed her way through, doing a room scan in case Stowe had beat her there. The table she staked out was currently occupied by a couple who were busy seeing who could stick whose tongue farther down whose throat. Eve broke up the contest by slapping her badge down on the table and jerking her thumb.