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Kathy could see her point. Not only did Kathy have nice clothes, but her mother had a new two-door GE refrigerator with a separate freezer compartment. Also, the refrigerator came with a magic ice tray you twisted and the cubes popped right out. For Christmas, her father had given her mother a brand-new Waring blender that Kathy used to make real milkshakes after school every day until her mother stopped buying ice cream. Livia said Kathy should count her blessings, which she most certainly did. She knew how lucky she was to have a real job working at her father’s dealership while Liza could only earn money babysitting and ironing Violet’s clothes, which made her practically a servant.
Kathy’s mother wanted her to see the value of helping those who couldn’t help themselves-an important lesson in life that Kathy’d taken to heart. She was the one who’d come up with the sewing project. Her plan was that she and Liza could make their entire school wardrobes, using her mother’s Singer sewing machine. Liza hadn’t seemed that interested. She’d twice postponed their shopping trip to buy the pattern and fabric. She’d had a good excuse each time, but Kathy was still hurt. When she’d complained to her mother, Livia suggested Liza might be too embarrassed to admit she didn’t have enough money to pay her share. Kathy understood completely. She’d even set aside ten dollars from her own weekly allowance to share with her friend. She’d appeared at Liza’s door that morning, ready (finally!) to make the trip into town, thinking how excited Liza would be when she realized Kathy was going to make her dreams come true. Kathy could just picture them in their matching outfits, not the same fabric or color, of course, because each of them needed to express her individuality, like it said in Seventeen magazine. But at school, come fall, seeing the similar style of their skirts and weskits, everyone would know they were the very best of friends. She’d been furious when she found out Liza was gone, but she’d decided to turn the other cheek. The principle of Absolute Love had taught her she could rise above petty disappointments. She’d even left a lovely birthday gift in Liza’s room as a surprise for her friend.
At the five-and-dime, she was so caught up in the notion of her own largess, she bought two patterns, one for each of them. In part, this was to show that all was forgiven and in part because she needed a much larger size. She bought three yards of pink wool for herself and a nice big remnant of gray corduroy for Liza. She was eager to share the news, but when Liza called to thank her for the bath powder, Kathy forgot her resolve. Disappointment had welled up and she’d nearly burst into tears until Liza finally explained. Poor, poor thing. She couldn’t help it if her mother was weak.
When Kathy heard her father’s car pulling into the drive, she quickly hid the half-empty ravioli can behind the silverware canteen, then scampered into the living room and flung herself in a chair, her legs over one arm of it. The Howdy Doody Show was on, and for all he knew she’d been sitting in the same casual posture for half the afternoon. “Daddy, is that you?”
“Yes.”
One word and she could tell he was in a bad mood. She wasn’t in such a hot mood herself after her fight with Liza on the phone. It was true what she’d said to her. She’d sooo been looking forward to their shopping trip. They used to go shopping or see a movie every Saturday afternoon until Violet came along. Livia would drive them into Santa Maria and treat them to lunch at the soda fountain, after which she’d give them each a dollar and let them buy anything they wanted. Kathy could still picture the tuna melt and the BLT. Kathy had imagined the two of them walking arm-in-arm into adulthood, best friends, loyal and true, still thrilled to be together the same as they’d always been.
It had taken her half the school year to realize something was wrong. At first, Liza was just busy. Kathy could understand that because when they finally got together, it felt like it always had. They’d giggle and eat popcorn, pour Dr Pepper over ice and have burping contests. Gradually she realized how distant Liza had become. She seemed cool, evasive, and Kathy couldn’t think why. Her mother was the one who pointed it out: first, there’d been Violet, then Ty. Liza had her hands full, so it should come as no surprise she had little left to give. And now that she babysat all the time, what was Kathy supposed to do?
After she’d delivered the birthday present to Liza’s room, she’d spent a few minutes wandering around, touching Liza’s things. Her hairbrush smelled exactly like her and the teddy bear Kathy’d given her was still propped up against the pillows, which she thought was a good sign. She hadn’t meant to snoop, but when she spotted the diary wedged in that dark, cobwebby space behind the bookcase, she’d sat on the bed and leafed through the pages in hopes of feeling co
On she read, somewhat discomfited to realize she wasn’t mentioned at all. The entries about Ty created a sharp pang. She suddenly understood that while she, Kathy, was focused on normal teen concerns, Liza was moving into womanhood. The details of Liza’s relationship with Ty created a weird sensation of heat between Kathy’s legs. At times she’d felt something similar when reading True Confessions and she’d known it was wrong. She’d done her best to steer Liza away from tawdriness and back to the safety of movie stars and movie magazines. She assumed she’d succeeded so it was doubly shocking to realize that Liza was caught up in the same conflicts that filled trashy publications. How degrading for her. No wonder she couldn’t bring herself to confide. Kathy could just imagine the stories: “Too Ashamed to Tell My Best Friend!”
“His Love Is Leading Me Down the Wrong Path but I Can’t Stop Myself!”
“If Only I Had Someone to Turn To: One Young Woman’s Struggle to Stay Pure.”
Instantly, Kathy knew she could be of help. As desperate as Liza was, she’d never be able to confess her plight. And, quite naturally, Kathy couldn’t admit that she’d read the diary behind Liza’s back. No wonder Liza was withdrawn. Given Kathy’s high standards, Liza probably thought she’d be repulsive to her. How could she aspire to Absolute Purity when she was already compromised? Tampax had been the first step. The insertion of a tampon might even have unleashed slumbering impulses of the lowest sort. She had to find a way to let Liza know there was hope, that she hadn’t strayed so far that there was no turning back. She was fully prepared to offer her friend whatever help she needed. It was just a matter of eliciting the information she wasn’t supposed to have.
While she’d waited for Liza’s call, she rehearsed various ways of broaching the subject. It wasn’t Liza’s fault. Liza’s father didn’t even live in the same state. Liza scarcely saw him, and when she did, it was only, like, every six months, and Liza said they didn’t really talk. In effect, she had no moral guidance whatever, so what could you expect? In most of these scenarios, Liza would weep with gratitude, and Kathy would comfort her at length.
Hours passed and Kathy was seriously alarmed by the time her mother finally hollered up the stairs. “Kathy? Liza’s on the phone.”
Kathy’s stomach was knotted with dread. What if Liza had spent the whole day with Ty? What if he’d kissed her and she’d found herself melting at his touch. Kathy had meant to convey her utter trustworthiness, but she’d forgotten about the bath powder and Liza’s thanking her for the gift had thrown her off. Next thing she knew, all her pain had poured out. She sensed how pathetic she was, but she longed for the familiar Liza, instead of this alien person who’d been locked in the arms of a “Boy from the Wrong Side of the Tracks!” Liza hadn’t even seemed contrite. She said she was sorry, but it didn’t sound that way. Kathy had been so relieved when she realized the problem was Liza’s mother. Sick and contagious? Well, no wonder. What did the woman expect at the rate she smoked cigarettes and drank? Kathy comforted her friend as best she could, but there wasn’t any way to steer the subject around to you-know-what. Even so, by the time they hung up, everything seemed fine. She’d still have to find a way to worm the truth out of Liza, but at least things were back to normal. The problem was, she didn’t feel happy and she couldn’t figure out why.