Skin Privilege

'Your first?'

'Third!' he told her, exuberant. 'I guess you see little babies a lot what with being a pediatrician. Do you ever get over how teeny they are? I mean, just the teeniest things.'

'No,' Sara admitted, his happiness distracting her.

'You got any little ones in your life?'

'No.'

'Well, I highly recommend it,' he advised enthusiastically. 'I've got four ex-wives and no kids to speak of. Don't get me wrong, it's fun spoiling my sister's little darlin's, but it's not the same as having your own.' He stared out at the parking lot, his voice turning sad. 'Both my parents are gone. It's just me and Sissy now.'

Sara pressed her lips together, wondering when she had turned into Fred Bart's best friend.

He confided, 'Jake comes from a big family, though.'

'Oh?'

'Four older sisters. His baby brother, Tom, died here about six years ago. Overdose.'

'I didn't know.'

'Jake was awful tore up about it. I think that's why he joined the force in the first place. Then, he saw what was really going on, how nobody wanted to tackle the problem. He decided to run for sheriff so he could do something about it.'

Sara wondered if he expected her to take notes. Obviously, Fred Bart was trying to deliver a message to Jeffrey. Jake's a good guy, she thought. Message received.

'Anyway,' Bart said, slapping his knees as he stood. 'You need a ride somewhere?'

'I'm waiting for my husband,' she told him, again wondering how much longer Jeffrey was going to be.

He gave her a wink. 'Lucky man.'

'I'll tell him you said so.'

'You do that now.' Bart flashed a smile, showing her his tiny, white teeth. He walked toward a green pickup truck, and Sara waved at him before going back inside.

Ignoring the dour woman behind the reception desk, Sara walked toward the alcove where they kept the snack machines. She was suddenly hungry enough to eat a horse. That was fitting, since horse by-products were pretty much a key ingredient in most of the snacks on offer.

Jeffrey's cell phone rang and she pulled it out of her pocket, saying by way of greeting, 'Where are you? I'm starving.'

The line was silent, and Sara was about to hang up when Lena said, 'It's me.'

Shock paralyzed Sara for a moment. Foolishly, she looked around, as if she expected Jake Valentine to suddenly appear out of the woodwork and snatch away the phone.

Lena asked, 'Where are you?'

'I'm at the hospital. With Hank.'

She didn't respond immediately. 'Is he okay?'

'No.' Sara looked for somewhere more private, but in the end decided it was best to stay put in case she lost the cell signal. 'We found him in his backyard. Someone tied him up, beat him. He was left there to die.'

'Maybe he wants to die.'

Sara could not believe the cold words she was hearing. 'Some people could argue you're doing the same thing,' she countered. 'Jeffrey knows about Ethan.'

'Ethan's not involved in this.'

'Do you really think Jeffrey is going to believe you? He's going to go to the prison tomorrow. I can't stop him. If anything happens, it's all on you. Do you hear me? It's all on you.'

'Tell him…' Lena began. 'Tell him I went to tell Ethan that I had an abortion.'

Sara felt her mouth open in surprise.

'It would've been born by now,' Lena said, her voice a scratchy whisper. 'Maybe you and Jeffrey could have raised it.'

Sara leaned against the vending machine, feeling as if she had been stabbed in the stomach.

Lena kept talking. I know you can't have kids, Sara. Doesn't it piss you off to know what I did? Doesn't it make you angry that I got pregnant when I wasn't even trying?'

Tears came to Sara's eyes. She shouldn't have started this game because she didn't have the heart to play it.

'Hank took me to the clinic,' Lena continued. 'They put this metal thing inside of me, and they cut it out.'

Sara begged, 'Please stop.'

I wonder what it looked like when they took it out,' she asked. 'You must know what it looked like, right? You're a doctor. You deal with babies all the time.'

Sara felt the tears come. 'How can you be so awful?'

'Tell Jeffrey everything I've said,' Lena instructed. 'Tell him that everything you've ever thought or said about me is true, Sara. I'm not a good person. I'm not worth saving. Go home. Take Jeffrey with you and go home.'

'I know what you're trying to do.' Sara wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, angry at the manipulation. She wasn't going to be Lena 's unwitting accomplice again. 'It's not going to work. You're not going to rope me in.'

'I don't want to,' Lena told her. I don't want you here. I don't want Jeffrey here. If Hank lives or dies, I don't care. I just want you both to go back home and forget I ever existed.'

Sara demanded, 'Are you still trying to play me, Lena? I'm not on your level. I don't know how these games work.'

Lena was quiet. Sara strained to hear if there was any background noise, anything that might give away Lena 's location. All she heard was a whimpering, almost like a wounded animal. It was Lena. She was crying.

Sara made her voice firm, tried to take charge. 'Where are you? Let us come get you.'

She didn't answer, just kept crying.

'This has gone on long enough. You need to let us come find you.'

'Did you see her?'

'See-'

Lena began to sob. 'The… woman… the one in the car.'

Sara tasted the same stench in the back of her throat as she had when she'd performed the autopsy.

'Did you take care of her?'

'Yes,' Sara said. 'Of course I took care of her.'

'She suffered.'

'I know.'

'She suffered, and it was all because of me.'

'Who was she?'

'She was somebody's mother,' Lena cried. 'Somebody's wife. Somebody's friend.' Her voice caught. 'She was somebody's lover.'

'Why are you doing this?'

'Because it's what I deserve! You were right. Everything I touch turns to shit. Get out of here before it's too late.'

'Too late for what?'

'Do you want the same thing to happen to Jeffrey?'

'What do you-'

'Just get out!' she screamed, cutting the line.

Sara held the phone to her chest, unable to move, her heart pounding. Jeffrey. She was scared that something – someone – would get to Jeffrey. In a split second, Sara's mind conjured up the autopsy she'd done on the burned woman, only this time, she saw Jeffrey on the table, Jeffrey burned. Tears came into her eyes. She shook uncontrollably.

'Dr. Linton?' Don Cook asked. He was wearing his deputy's uniform. His hat was in his hand.

'Yes,' she answered, trying to compose herself, wondering how long the man had been standing there.

'You all right?'

'Yes,' she told him, willing her voice not to shake. She closed her eyes for a moment, tried to clear her head of the awful image.

'I'm Don Cook. We met the other night?' He waited for her to nod. 'Your husband asked me to come fetch you and take you to the jail.'

She stared at him, skeptical. 'He didn't call to tell me.'

The man shrugged. 'I was just told to take you to the jail. Jake and your husband are there waiting for you.'

She indicated the phone in her hand. 'Let me just call him first.'

'All right.' He stepped back into the lobby, giving her some privacy.

Sara looked at Jeffrey's phone, wondering what to do. Being a Luddite had once been a source of pride, but now she felt like a backward fool. She knew that Jeffrey's phone stored numbers, but wasn't sure whether or not dialing out would erase the last phone number received. If Lena had called from a traceable line, using the phone might erase it.

Cook poked his head from around the corner. 'Everything all right?'

'I left a message on his cell phone,' she lied.

'Good. Ready?'

Sara nodded. He swept his deputy's hat in the direction of the exit, indicating she should go ahead of him. Outside, she saw the ambulance parked in the bay. The paramedics who had driven Hank to the hospital were leaning against the wall, smoking. They saw Sara and gave her a friendly wave.