The Enchanter Completed

"That worried him and he brooded all during the drive. Just as we reached Luchorp?n, he turned to me and said, 'Look here, Mr. Newbury, it's true that we've had problems with the ATM. It doesn't disburse the money, but it deducts from the depositors' accounts. We've been making those little loans to cover their losses until we figure out what the reason is. I know that's not proper, but we'll get things straight in a few weeks.

"By that time, I had my doubts, but I decided to say nothing and wrap up my visit as quickly as possible. I picked three safe deposit boxes at random and MacNai contacted the owners and asked them to come in. One of them refused and, rather than argue over it, I picked another box. While we waited, MacNai brought in some deli sandwiches?corned beef?but I had eaten a large breakfast and didn't touch them.

"The first owner was a little old woman named Maire ni Tuithe. MacNai carefully explained the reason for opening her box. She scowled and argued back and said her hoard?she actually used the word 'hoard'?was her own and no one else's. 'Now, Maire bawn, said MacNai, 'remember what we all agreed. It does none of us any good to bury it in the ground. We need to make our money work for us. That means we must obey the banking laws, and this gentleman must confirm that the collateral exists. He's got you caught, fair and square, even if it is a rule that he's caught you by and not the scruff of your neck.

"I can't say I cared much for the way MacNai explained things. He made it sound like I'd tackled the old lady and pi

"I have never seen so much gold coin in my life. There were old double eagles and Krugerands and even, I swear, Spanish doubloons and Venetian ducats. That Maire bawn hadn't been kidding when she called it her 'hoard. Melted down to ingots, the gold would have been worth a fortune; auctioned as coin to collectors, it was worth three fortunes. Museums would duel one another at twenty paces for some of the older pieces. My jaw must have dropped to the vicinity of my knees. 'How did you come by this? I asked.

" 'Tis me life savings, the woman answered. 'All that stands between me an' a pauper's grave. And I'll have to admit that her Social Security check would never come close to the income that brass deposit box would bring. I assured her that I had no intention of depriving her of her property, which actually seemed to shock her.

"Once she had gone, I questioned MacNai more closely on the security at the bank. It did not seem especially tight?if the rest of the boxes were as flush as the one I'd picked at random. 'We look out for our own, MacNai said. 'First, no one would suspect such a trove in a small bank like this. Secondly, we have friends.

"There was something in the way he said it that made my hairs curl. Then he muttered something about a black pig that I didn't catch. I began to reconsider my thoughts about the bank being a front for criminal elements.

"The other two box-holders came and it was just like the first. Brass containers full of golden coins?except the third, which had a significant amount of silver. That gentleman, O Beirne, was quite smug about it. 'You'll not find silver go like the morning's dew, he said, much to MacNai's evident irritation. Neither of them made the sort of fuss about opening his box as did the Ni Tuithe woman earlier, but MacNai spoke with them quietly before introducing us, so I suppose he persuaded them the same way.

"In fact, I'm sure of it. For when I left the building I saw all three of them gathered in the parking lot listening to my friend of that morning. He was gesticulating wildly and I heard him say something like, 'not fairly caught, when he caught sight of me and pointed. 'And there he is, making off with your treasures!

"Now, they had all seen their safe deposit boxes locked safely back into the vault, so I don't know how they thought I'd be making off with anything, but they all turned to me and seemed almost to leap through the air. The woman, in particular, let out a horrific shriek that nearly froze the blood in my veins?and all this in broad daylight no more than a block from MacLean Avenue!

"I'm no coward, but I know when I'm outnumbered. Beside, Esau doesn't pay me to brawl in the Bronx. I sprinted up the block with them at my heels. It seemed to me as if they rode on the wind. Luck being with me, I found a cab at the corner. The cabbie was a Sikh. He saw my four pursuers and shook his head. 'What a terrible shame, he said, 'what this neighborhood has come to. They are illegal aliens, you know. They come here and take jobs away from us Americans.

"I hadn't had an experience like that since Decatur, Georgia. We drove for a while until I had regained a measure of calm. I saw your establishment, and told him to drop me here." Newbury spread his hands. "And now you know why I've had unkind thoughts about the Irish."

"Well, as to that," said Mr. Cohan, "it wasn't rightly the Irish you had trouble with. Luchorp?n was their old name in the Gaelic, but they've been called by other names. That sort has always meant trouble. They can be pleasant enough when they're rightly caught?and then it is all 'yes, sor' and 'no, sor' and 'as you please, sor'?but it doesn't do to turn your back for a moment. They are powerful jealous of their treasures, too. I hadn't heard that they was emigratin', but it doesn't surprise me, things being as they are in the old country."

"There is something I don't understand," Gross said. "I mean, I understand about the colors coming through the window?and it's not many men have the privilege of finding themselves at the rainbow's end?and about spitting at the ATM?"

"It's how you make sure the money doesn't disappear," Witherwax told him. "Didn't Councilman Maguire of the Fifth Ward have that very problem one time?"

Mr. Cohan nodded. "He did that. The poor felly, God rest him, was coming in here before every election to spit in the pot and get a little bit of the luck that was still in it."

"But that's not the part I don't understand," Gross insisted. "It's why the ATM wouldn't give out the money in the first place."

"Why, that sort of money," Mr. Cohan told him, "doesn't like the touch of cold iron?you'll recall that the lock boxes were brass?and I don't suppose paper money issued in place of it is any different. The money is only a symbol, after all."

"Oh, dear Lord," said young Keating. "We're in for a world of hurt."

Gross blinked and looked at the others. "Why's that?"

Newbury looked at Keating. Then he covered his face and groaned. "Money is fungible. Set them up, Mr. Cohan. We may as well spend it while we can."

Mr. Cohan set up another round, and while he did he whistled an old song: