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I frowned. "I know."
"You wanted the strength, the power of two dragons."
"Yes, Beatrice, I know."
"And that has changed?"
I swallowed hard. "Not precisely, but I don't want Mairwen's life to be the cost for my victory."
"I imagine she understands it's the potential hazard to her duty as your omega," Beatrice said coolly.
I gaped at my sister. "How can you… You have no idea—" Beatrice's eyes narrowed, and I wet my lips, starting over. "It doesn't feel right."
"Have you spoken to her?" Beatrice asked.
"I can barely look at her without—" I cleared the growl out of my throat. "The rut is very close."
"What is it you want, exactly? To refuse her your rut and heir?"
"I want to—I don't know! It's as if my options are to force this danger on her or deny her completely and-and—"
Beatrice straightened, leaning forward slightly, stare too keen. "If she had a choice, would you offer it to her?"
"Of course!" Although I might do my best to persuade her to choose the safer option, if one were possible.
Beatrice stared at me for a long moment and then glanced down at her lap. "You know I never had any children, in spite of the wishes of both Father and the dragon he passed me off to."
"Beatrice, I—"
She held up her hand. "My failure was a great blow. To them. For me it was a…a relief. And a success." She held my gaze, and a wry smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Sebastian didn't want a daughter, of course, so he only made an effort with me during his ruts. But I didn't want to risk his attention. So I drank a particular tea at the start of every month for the entire thirty years it took for me to outlive him and then Father."
My brow furrowed. "A tea?"
Beatrice smoothed the folds of her skirt. "It is illegal for dragonkin women to take any measures to prevent pregnancy. Our great-great-grandfather created that particular law. But before his rule, it was not uncommon practice for omegas to brew a tea with a collection of now outlawed flowers and herbs that would allow them to attend their dragon during a rut, without the consequence of a dangerous pregnancy."
"What?" My jaw was hanging open, but the rest of me felt quite numb, and I shook myself, as if I might make sense of these words. "Why…why have I never heard of this before now?"
"Because it is easier to prevent something from happening if you are able to erase even the suggestion it might be possible," Beatrice said with a shrug. "Which our forefathers did their very best to do. The birth rates of male dragons were dropping quite quickly for several centuries at that time. I don't know if our relative made the law to protect the isle's dragonkin population, or if he simply wanted to ensure his own heir."
"Beatrice, are you telling me… If the flowers were outlawed, how did you obtain them?" Was there time to get the tea for Mairwen too?
"Men take little interest in flowers," Beatrice said with a wave of her hand. "Especially our father. The library here at the castle has many texts that have been ba
My chest ached, and as Beatrice fell silent, I realized I'd been holding my breath. "And the flowers?"
Beatrice smiled, earnest and wrinkled, and she reached across the desk to cover my tense hand with her own soft and aged one. "I could brew Mairwen the tea today, if she wants it. But it must be her choice, Ronson. I gave the choice to your mother, but she wanted a child. And she loved you. I'm glad you don't want to take Mairwen's choice away, but I won't, either."
"Brew the tea, Beatrice," I said, the leaden weight in my chest easing, the prospect of the rut stirring interest and heat in my belly once more. "I'll speak to Mairwen."