Un Lun Dun

“What happened?” Za

Thank you, Unbrellissimo, Deeba thought. Thank you, thank you. And…well done me, too. For chasing the last of it away.

“It’s okay, Za

Deeba’s voice dried up at the sight of Za

“Deebs,” Za

“The…the Smog,” Deeba said. “On the bridge. With the Propheseers?”

Za

“I don’t understand,” she said.

We don’t know how it’ll affect her, Brokkenbroll had said.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Deeba said.

“What do you mean?” said Za

She don’t remember a thing, Deeba thought. It’s all gone. She stared in astonishment.

“What is this bloody noise?” Deeba’s mother opened the door in her dressing gown. When she saw the two girls, for a moment she stared at them blankly. Then she shook her head and blinked at them wrathfully. “It’s you two,” she said. “Banging around and shouting…It’s early, girls! Deeba, what are you…?”

She looked down in bewilderment as Deeba grabbed her in a big hug.

“Mum, Mum, Mum!” Deeba said.

“Yes, mad girl, it’s me,” Mrs. Resham said. “And despite this burst of endearing affection, you’re still too loud.”

Deeba looked up at her, too happy to care about her mother’s reaction.

“Sorry, Mrs. Resham,” said Za

Deeba’s mother blinked again and changed her expression. “You don’t sound well, dear,” she said. “Maybe we should get you home soon.”

Home, thought Deeba, and smiled.

“Maybe I should go,” groaned Za

We did it, Deeba thought. Despite seeing her friend in pain, not knowing what had happened to Za

“What are you gri

We’re home, Deeba thought.

32. Memento

As they took Za

Good luck, she thought. She knew that the UnLondoners still had a fight ahead of them. The Smog would not take kindly to their counterattack. But with Brokkenbroll and Unstible’s plan, the UnLondoners might win.

It was their fight now. They had no Shwazzy, but they’d made their own plans, and she wished them luck.

Deeba’s delight was overshadowed by bewilderment at her mother’s strange lack of concern. But then she remembered what Mortar had said— the phlegm effect.

She went to the computer to look up the word phlegm. She found that yes, it did mean “snot,” just as she had thought, but it also had an older meaning: “equanimity.” And when she had looked that up, she learnt that it meant “calmness of temper.”

So that was what Mortar had meant.

The phlegm effect was why when her mother and father stumbled sleepily in to breakfast, they cheerfully greeted Deeba as if she hadn’t been missing for three days.

“Dad,” she said. “You remember what time I got home yesterday?”

“Yesterday?” He looked thoughtful. “About six, wasn’t it? No. I’m not sure.” He shrugged.

“What was we talking about at supper, Mum?”

“At supper, darling? It was about…your schoolwork?” Her mother turned it into a question and forgot about it.

It wasn’t as if time had stood still, and it wasn’t as if they’d forgotten her, or as if she’d been replaced by a phantom. Instead, all the time she was in UnLondon, they’d simply not worried. They’d all spent the time thinking that they’d seen her a few moments ago, or that she’d just popped into her room, or that they’d have a word with her in a second. They stayed calm—phlegmatic— because they didn’t, and couldn’t, realize that she’d really gone.

Deeba was pleased that her parents and brother and her friends and teachers hadn’t been panicking. She would have hated for them to worry. She had to admit, though, it made her a bit uncomfortable to realize that no one had been thinking about her and Za

She was also uneasy when she thought of the moment of hesitation her family had shown on her return, the first time they saw her. Deeba tried not to think about it, even when her teachers and school friends did the same thing.

Za

The sunlight was more vivid; she felt soaked in light.

“You’re in a good mood,” said Miss Edwards, looking at her oddly. “Haven’t seen you this happy since…” she said, and then her voice petered out, because of course she could not quite remember when she had last seen Deeba, because of the phlegm effect.

Za

She almost couldn’t believe it herself. In the light of that bright little sun, all her memories of grossbottles and Slateru

When what had happened seemed impossible, she made sure no one was looking, and brought out the glove, and read it. If Za