The Truth

'But surely--' William began.

Mrs Arcanum patted her hair. 'I've always thought Lord Vetinari was a most handsome man,' she said, and then looked flustered when they all stared at her. 'I meant, I'm just a little surprised there isn't a Lady Vetinari. As it were. Ahem.'

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'Oh well, you know what they say,' said Mr Windling.

A pair of arms shot out across the table, grabbed the surprised man by the lapels and pulled him up so that his face was a few inches from William's.

7 don't know what they say, Mr Windling!' he shouted. 'But you know what they say, Mr Windling! Why don't you tell us what they say, Mr Windling! Why don't you tell us who told you, Mr Windling?'

'Mr de Worde! Really!' said Mrs Arcanum. Mr Prone pulled the toast out of the way.

I'm very sorry about this, Mrs Arcanum,' said William, still holding the struggling man, 'but I want to know what everyone knows and I want to know how they know it. Mr Windling?'

They say he's got some sort of a lady friend who's very important in Uberwald,' said Mr Windling. 'And I'll thank you to let go of me!'

'And that's it? What's so sinister about that? It's a friendly country!'

'Yes, but, yes, but they say--'

William let go. Windling rocked back into his chair, but William stayed standing, breathing heavily.

'Well, I wrote the article in the TimesV he snapped. 'And what's in there is what ,' say! Me! Because I found things out, and checked things, and people who say "ing" a lot tried to kill me! I'm not the man that's the brother of some man you met in the pub! I'm not some stupid rumour put about to make trouble! So just remember that, before you try any of that "everyone knows" stuff! And in an hour or so I've got to go up to the palace and see Commander Vimes and whoever is the Patrician and a lot of other people, to get this whole thing sorted out! And it's not going to be very nice, but I'm going to have to do it, because I wanted you to know things that are important. Sorry about the teapot, Mrs Arcanum, I'm sure it can be mended.'

In the ensuing silence Mr Prone picked up the paper and said: 'You write this?'

'Yes!'

'I... er... I thought they had special people...'

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All heads turned back to William.

There isn't a they. There's just me and a young lady. We write it all!' 'But... who tells you what to put in?' The heads turned back to William. 'We just... decide.'

'Er... is it true about big silver discs kidnapping people?' 'No!'

To William's surprise Mr Cartwright actually raised his hand. 'Yes, Mr Cartwright?'

I've got quite an important question, Mr de Worde, what with you knowing all this stuff 'Yes?' 'Have you got the address of the fu

William and Otto arrived at the palace at five minutes to ten. There was a small crowd around the gates.

Commander Vimes was standing in the courtyard, talking to Slant and some of the Guild leaders. He smiled in a humourless way when he saw William.

'You're rather late, Mr de Worde,' he said.

'I'm early!'

'I meant that things have been happening.'

Mr Slant cleared his throat. 'Mr Scrope has sent a note,' he said. 'It appears that he is ill.'

William pulled out his notebook.

The civic leaders focused on it. He hesitated. And then uncertainty evaporated. I'm a de Worde, he thought, don't you dare look down your noses at me! You 've got to move with the Times. Oh well... here goes...

'Was it signed by his mother?' he said.

'I don't follow your meaning,' said the lawyer, but several of the Guild leaders turned their heads away.

'What's happening now, then?' said William. 'We don't have a ruler?'

'Happily,' said Mr Slant, who looked like a man in a private hell, 'Lord Vetinari is feeling very much better and expects to resume his duties tomorrow.'

'Excuse me, is he allowed to write that down?' said Lord Downey, head of the Assassins' Guild, as William made a note.

'Allowed by who?' said Vimes.

'Whom,' said William, under his breath.

'Well, he can't just write down anything, can he?' said Lord Downey. 'Supposing he writes down something we don't want him to write down?'

Vimes looked William firmly in the eye.

There's no law against it,' he said.

'Lord Vetinari is not going to go on trial, then, Lord Downey?' said William, holding Vimes's gaze for a second.

Downey, baffled, turned to Slant.

'Can he ask me that?' he said. 'Just come out with a question, just like that?'

'Yes, my lord.'

'Do I have to answer it?'

'It is a reasonable question in the circumstances, my lord, but you don't have to.'

'Do you have a message for the people of Ankh-Morpork?' said William sweetly.

'Do we, Mr Slant?' said Lord Downey.

Mr Slant sighed. 'It may be advisable, my lord, yes.'

'Oh, well, then - no, there won't be a trial. Obviously.'

'And he's not going to be pardoned?' said William.

Lord Downey turned to Mr Slant, who gave a little sigh.

'Again, my lord, it is--'

'All right, all right... No, he's not going to be pardoned because it is quite clear that he is quite guiltless,' said Downey testily.

'Would you say that this has become clear because of the excellent work done by Commander Vimes and his dedicated band of officers, aided in a small way by the Times!' said William.

Lord Downey looked blank. 'Would I say that?' he said.

'I think you possibly would, yes, my lord,' said Slant, sinking further in gloom.

'Oh. Then I would,' said Downey. 'Yes.' He craned his neck to see what William was writing down. Out of the corner of his eye

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William saw Vimes's expression; it was a strange mixture of amusement and anger.

'And would you say, as spokesman for the Guild Council, that you are commending Commander Vimes?' said William.

'Now see here--' Vimes began.

'I suppose we would, yes.'

'I expect there's a Watch Medal or a commendation in the offing?'

'Now look--' Vimes said.

'Yes, very probably. Very probably,' said Lord Downey, now thoroughly buffeted by the winds of change.

William painstakingly wrote this down, too, and closed his notebook. This caused a general air of relief among the others.

'Thank you very much, my lord, and ladies and gentlemen,' he said cheerfully. 'Oh, Mister Vimes... do you and I have anything to discuss?'

'Not right at this moment,' growled Vimes.

'Oh, that's good. Well, I must go and get this written up, so thank you once--'

'You will of course show this... article to us before you put it in the paper,' said Lord Downey, rallying a little.

William wore his haughtiness like an overcoat. 'Um, no, I don't think I will, my lord. It's my paper, you see.'

'Can he--?'

'Yes, my lord, he can,' said Mr Slant. 'I'm afraid he can. The right to free speech is a fine old Ankh-Morpork tradition.'

'Good heavens, is it?'

'Yes, my lord.'

'How did that one survive?'

'I couldn't say, my lord,' said Slant. 'But Mr de Worde,' he added, staring at William, 'is, I believe, a young man who would not go out of his way to upset the smooth ru

William smiled at him politely, nodded to the rest of the company and walked back across the courtyard and out into the street. He waited until he was some distance away before he burst out laughing.

A week went past. It was notable because of the things that didn 't happen. There was no protest from Mr Carney or the Engravers' Guild. William wondered if he had been carefully moved into the 'to be left alone' file. After all, people might be thinking, Vetinari probably owed the Times a favour, and no one would want to be that favour, would they? There was no visit from the Watch, either. There had been rather more street cleaners around than usual, but after William sent a hundred dollars to Harry King, plus a bouquet for Mrs King, Gleam Street was no longer gleaming.