Ham On Rye

The bartender was Filipino.

"You're new, hub?" he asked.

"I live upstairs. I'm a student."

"No credit."

I put some coins down.

"Give me an Eastside."

He came back with the bottle.

"Where can a fellow get a girl?" I asked. He picked up some of the coins.

"I don't know anything," he said and walked to the register.

That first night I closed the bar. Nobody bothered me. A few blond women left with the Filipinos. The men were quiet drinkers. They sat in little groups with their heads close together, talking, now and then laughing in a very quiet ma

I decided to keep going to college. It would give me some place to be during the daytime. My friend Becker had dropped out. There wasn't anybody that I much cared for there except maybe the instructor in Anthropology, a known Communist. He didn't teach much Anthropology. He was a large man, casual and likeable.

"Now the way you fry a porterhouse steak," he told the class,

"you get the pan red hot, you drink a shot of whiskey and then you pour a thin layer of salt in the pan. You drop the steak in and sear it but not for too long. Then you flip it, sear the other side, drink another shot of whiskey, take the steak out and eat it immediately."

Once when I was stretched out on the campus lawn he had come walking by and had stopped and stretched out beside me.

"Chinaski, you don't believe all that Nazi hokum you're spreading around, do you?"

"I'm not saying. Do you believe your crap?"

"Of course I do."

"Good luck."

"Chinaski, you're nothing but a wienerschnitzel."

He got up, brushed off the grass and leaves and walked away…

I had been at the Temple Street place only for a couple of days when Jimmy Hatcher found me. He knocked on the door one night and I opened it and there he was with two other guys, fellow aircraft workers, one called Delmore, the other, Fastshoes.

"How come he's called 'Fastshoes'?"

"You ever lend him money, you'll know."

"Come on in… How in Christ's name did you find me?"

"Your folks had you traced by a private dick."

"Damn, they know how to take the boy out of a man's life."

"Maybe they're worried?"

"If they're worried all they have to do is send money."

"They claim you'll drink it up."

"Then let them worry…"

The three of them came in and sat around on the bed and the floor. They had a fifth of whiskey and some paper cups. Jimmy poured all around.

"Nice place you've got. here."

"It's great. I can see the City Hall every time I stick my head out the window."

Fastshoes pulled a deck of cards from his pocket. He was sitting on the rug. He looked up at me.

"You gamble?"

"Every day. You got a marked deck?"

"Hey, you son-of-a-bitch!"

"Don't curse me or I'll hang your wig on my mantlepiece."

"Honest, man, these cards are straight!"

"All I play is poker and 21. What's the limit?"

"Two bucks."

"We'll split for the deal."

I got the deal and called for draw poker, regular. I didn't like wild cards, too much luck was needed that way. Two bits for the kitty. As I dealt, Jimmy poured another round.

"How are you making it. Hank?"

"I'm writing term papers for the other people."

"Brilliant."

"Yeah…"

"Hey, you guys," said Jimmy, "I told you this guy was a genius."

"Yeah," said Delmore. He was to my right. He opened.

"Two bits," he said. We followed him in.

"Three cards," said Delmore.

"One," said Jimmy.

"Three," said Fastshoes.

"I'll stand," I said.

"Two bits," said Delmore.

We all stayed in and then I said, "I'll see your two bits and raise you two bucks."

Delmore dropped out, Jimmy dropped out. Fastshoes looked at me. "What else do you see besides City Hall when you stick your head out the window?"

"Just play your hand. I'm not here to chat about gymnastics or the scenery."

"All right," he said, "I'm out."

I scooped up the pot and gathered in their cards, leaving mine face down.

"What did ya have?" asked Fastshoes.

"Pay to see or weep forever," I said sweeping my cards into the deck and mixing them together, shuffling them, feeling like Gable before he got weakened by God at the time of the San Francisco earthquake.

The deck changed hands but my luck held, most of the time. It had been payday at the aircraft plant. Never bring a lot of money to where a poor man lives. He can only lose what little he has. On the other hand it is mathematically possible that he might win whatever you bring with you. What you must do, with money and the poor, is never let them get too close to one another.

Somehow I felt that the night was to be mine. Delmore soon tapped out and left.

"Fellows," I said, "I've got an idea. Cards are too slow. Let's just match coins, ten bucks a toss, odd man wins."

"O.K.," said Jimmy.

"O.K.," said Fastshoes.

The whiskey was gone. We were into a bottle of my cheap wine.

"All right," I said, "flip the coins high! Catch them on your palms. And when I say lift,' we'll check the result."

We flipped them high. Caught them.

"Lift!" I said.

I was odd man. Shit. Twenty bucks, just like that. I jammed the tens into my pocket.

"Flip!" I said. We did.

"Lift!" I said. I won again.

"Flip!" I said.

"Lift!" I said. Fastshoes won. I got the next. Then Jimmy won. I got the next two.

"Wait," I said, "I've got to piss!"

I walked over to the sink and pissed. We had finished the bottle of wine. I opened the closet door. "I got another bottle of wine in here," I told them.

I took most of the bills out of my pocket and threw them into the closet. I came out, opened the bottle, poured drinks all around.

"Shit," said Fastshoes looking into his wallet, "I'm almost broke."

"Me too," said Jimmy.

"I wonder who's got the money?" I asked. They weren't very good drinkers. Mixing the wine and the whiskey was bad for them. They were weaving a bit.

Fastshoes fell back against the dresser knocking an ashtray to the floor. It broke in half.

"Pick it up," I said.

"I won't pick up shit," he said.

"I said, 'pick it up'!"

"I won't pick up shit."

Jimmy reached and picked up the broken ashtray.

"You guys get out of here," I said.

"You can't make me go," said Fastshoes.

"All right," I said, "just open your mouth owe more time, say owe word and you won't be able to separate your head from your asshole!"

"Let's go, Fastshoes," said Jimmy.

I opened the door and they filed past unsteadily. I followed them down the hall to the head of the stairway. We stood there.

"Hank," said Jimmy, "I'll see you again. Take it easy."

"All right, Jim…"

"Listen," Fastshoes said to me, "You…"

I shot a straight right into his mouth. He fell backward down the stairway, twisting and bouncing. He was about my size, six feet and oneeighty, and you could hear the sound of him for a block. Two Filipinos and the blond landlady were in the lobby. They looked at Fastshoes laying there but they didn't move toward him.

"You killed him!" said Jimmy.

He ran down the stairway and turned Fastshoes over. Fastshoes had a bloody nose and mouth. Jimmy held his head. Jimmy looked up at me.

"That wasn't right, Hank…"

"Yeah, what ya go

"I think," said Jimmy, "that we're going to come back and get you.. ."

"Wait a minute," I said.

I walked back to my room and poured myself a wine. I hadn't liked Jimmy's paper cups and I had been drinking out of a used jelly glass. The paper label was still on the side, stained with dirt and wine. I walked back out.